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40 things Buffy Summers is not allowed to do

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Review of chapter "Who made Buffy read the Harry Potter books?" from BlueEyedJedi
Review:
The Witch, that Buffy called 'MuggleFucker' needs to confront Buffy and say, " 'MuggleFucker', 'MuggleFucker' NO , 'VIKING DEMON IN THE SACK FUCKER' Oh My God YES. Look you peroxide addicted bitch, the bedroom skills of 'The White Knight' are legendary in the Magical community. I have watch my my back at all times just to avoid being killed by other witches, more than a few Slayers, severely unsatisfied Succubi, untold Hordes of demon Girls, Other Mystical Females (She didn't want to out Dawn), Drusilla and other lonely vamps, and a few Wizards as well (They are holding on to a vain hope, that Xander might change his mind. He won't, I Thank God for that on behalf of all Women, he is just to good to be lost from the straight side of life.): Almost all of them would gladly kill me to take my place in his bed." Then the Witch had an epiphany , "You're just pissed that you had a chance to take that ride and squandered it through Bitchcraft, and now he won't give you another chance. Can you blame him, you treat him like shit for years, and you expect him now to be your honey. It ain't gonna happen, Ever!!!!!! I know that knowledge MUST HURT, especially in light of his LEGENDARY reputation, and yours as well, Pathetic as it is."

"Pathetic, what's pathetic about my reputation? I'm Good in bed, I'm so good that if Angel slept with me he'd lose his soul from perfect Bliss."Countered Buffy.

"You really don't know why Drusilla has saving people lately, not killing or eating anyone. Well the way I heard it shortly after Xander lost his eye, she came to him in the hospital, she had had a vision of what happened to her Kitten, but arrived too late to prevent it. Her efforts to console him while he was half asleep, lead to him shgagging her rotten. Xander became fully awake half way through and kept going out of instinct. In the afterglow, she promised him to be a good girl from then on, She proved it when she fought & killed a couple of Turok-Han, Caleb had sent to finish the job. In the aftermath Drusilla was hurt, and so Xander had her sent some where safe. The reason for her change has two possibilities 1. He shagged her soul back into her. 2. Dru is being good for the chance to take 'The White Knight's Allnight Shag Tour' again, not that I blame her. So when you brag about shagging Angelus back into power, it pales compared to Xander shagging Drusilla into the light of being a white hat, He's just that good. You on the other hand have the reputation of being a whiny, needy, and annoying girlfriend with a penchant for kinks that sickens even the most open minded demon."

"Faith had him once and then tossed him aside, and never tried to get with him again, how good can he be given that?" retorted Buffy.

"B, awe screw it BITCH, you really shouldn't have gone there. Yes, I threw Xander out after he rocked my world, make that my universe, but that was because if we had gone again it would have killed me." Then with a wistful look in her eyes added, "God, what a way to go. As to why I never got with him again. Well there are several reasons: 1. It me weeks to recover, every time I moved, I was climaxing from the experience. 2. I was following your advice to not let him get close, for fear that he might get hurt. For what that cost me I really wanted to put you in the hospital. 3. By the time I recovered the mayor had me under his spell. 4. After I got out of Prison, I was to ashamed to even try to get with him. Unlike some here, I actually regret past mistakes and try make things right. 5. Finally, Robin is my soul-mate, he helped me make things square with Xander, and that is the only reason I'm not gunning for any girl between me and Xander. I will thank you not to bring me into your petty squabbles." And with a smack that floored Buffy, grabbed her husband, "Arguing with Buffy had got her in the mood.

As everyone left, Buffy found herself Stymied, as her Bleach damaged brain proved able to come up with anything to say that would make her worse.

Also dismayed by this turn of events, was Kennedy, she saw the look in her girlfriend's eyes, she had seen it before. Now she would be spending the upcoming weeks wearing the Saucey French Maid, Little Bo Peep, Goldie-Locks, and worst of all the Little Red Riding Hood costumes just to keep Willow from buying a ticket on the Xander express to Ecstasy. She really hated all that Frou-Frou crap. Thinking to herself, "Damn it Willow why'd you have be so damn good in bed, But damn it you are, So where did I hide those frilly nightmares."

Peace
Comments from author:
Best. Review. Ever.
:D
Review By [BlueEyedJedi] • Date [27 Aug 10] • Rating [10 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Buying 'essentials' and hair dye" from spring
Review:
lol, I would have made her return the clothing that wasn't really essential.
Review By [spring] • Date [2 Dec 09] • Rating [10 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Buying 'essentials' and hair dye" from CPTSkip
Review:
Lol! Loved the last line and I also laughed madly at “Yeah, highlights all over your head.” Dawn scoffed. Buffy shot her a dirty look.

Once again I thought this was a funny update. Why wouldn't Andrew be all up on Firefly? It is science fiction, there is that dreamy captain even if he looks a bit like a certain mad preacher, and I'm sure Willow watched it for the hot chicks and so I'm sure she made the Summers sisters watched it with her. Lol! But if you make Andrew a Battlestar Galactica Reboot fan you could have Andrew or even Buffy driving everyone nuts with replying "By your command" whenever anyone gave him or her an order. Lol!
Review By [CPTSkip] • Date [1 Dec 09] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Who made Buffy read the Harry Potter books?" from CrystalBlaze
Review:
Oh, Noes!! Why do I get the feeling Willow's gonna be fed triple espresso if Dawn tries to be overstrict?

Seriously, Dawn should know better--Buffy is HER sister and it's not like Dawn's exactly without stain, shall we say?
Review By [CrystalBlaze] • Date [26 Nov 09] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Who made Buffy read the Harry Potter books?" from RabidReject
Review:
Haha.. awesome. Don't have a particular list item in mind, but that was great. I can't wait to read more.
Review By [RabidReject] • Date [25 Nov 09] • Rating [10 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Who made Buffy read the Harry Potter books?" from CPTSkip
Review:
OK, you definitely need to put a warning at the beginning of your story saying, "Do not drink anything while reading this series." Very funny, you obviously have a twisted and devious mind. I like that.

I'd love to see the story that made the Scoobies create "Start a conversation with Andrew about any cult film or TV show. And no, we don’t care how long she spent on the internet researching just to bait Andrew." Andrew is such an easy target. Lol!
Review By [CPTSkip] • Date [24 Nov 09] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "40 things Buffy Summers is not allowed to do" from (Past Donor)Whedonist
Review:
That was just...funny...well done. I sorta wanna print it out and post it in my office at work so that when I'm about ready to blow a gasket, I can look over, read and giggle.

Thanks!
Review By [(Past Donor)Whedonist] • Date [24 Nov 09] • Rating [8 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Who made Buffy read the Harry Potter books?" from Xeelia
Review:
LOL!

"Mugglefucker"

GREAT!
Review By [Xeelia] • Date [24 Nov 09] • Rating [10 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Who made Buffy read the Harry Potter books?" from nightshadowlife
Review:
lol I love it and hope you continue the chapters afterwards!!!!!
Review By [nightshadowlife] • Date [24 Nov 09] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "40 things Buffy Summers is not allowed to do" from supernaturalfanatic
Review:
Alright look, I've been sick this whole week with an upper respiratory infection. Making any noise with my mouth hurts. And reading this has caused me so much pain from laughing out loud!! Oh my goodness, this was hilarious! Any possible chance a short little fic could come from one of these? Or can anyone do one? Anyway, way to go!
Review By [supernaturalfanatic] • Date [20 Nov 09] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "40 things Buffy Summers is not allowed to do" from (Past Donor)athenewolfe
Review:
LMAO! Oh I loved this!
Review By [(Past Donor)athenewolfe] • Date [20 Nov 09] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "40 things Buffy Summers is not allowed to do" from (Current Donor)dogbertcarroll
Review:
LOL!
Review By [(Current Donor)dogbertcarroll] • Date [20 Nov 09] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "40 things Buffy Summers is not allowed to do" from CrystalBlaze
Review:
Having read the jpublic list of things Xander Harris is no longer allowed to do, I feel a yen for the lot to have their fun put under reasonable (yeah, RIGHT) limits.

In short, Faith, Willow, and (especially) Andrew need lists!
Review By [CrystalBlaze] • Date [20 Nov 09] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "40 things Buffy Summers is not allowed to do" from Dragonwolftiger
Review:
Why not ask Dawn's dates if they know what a shovel is for and then tell them graphically what'll happen when they make her cry? Great list, please continue writing.
Review By [Dragonwolftiger] • Date [19 Nov 09] • Rating [10 out of 10]
Review of chapter "40 things Buffy Summers is not allowed to do" from Xeelia
Review:
LOL! Will Giles, Dawn, Xander, and Willow get their own lists too?
Review By [Xeelia] • Date [19 Nov 09] • Rating [10 out of 10]
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