Not bad idea or start but I do usualy dislike the 'hidden skills and contacts' that we never heard about before popping up so quickly. I think it would been better have Xander have to build them up in wake of Buffy's absence then have supposively long term friendships with the people that we never heard of before.
Review of chapter "the forged ally" from Dragonelf
Review:
::Gives the plot bunny some Coconut rice::
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Review By [Dragonelf] • Date [29 Dec 09] • Not Rated
::Gives the plot bunny some Lung fung soup (Dragon phoenix soup)::
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Review By [Dragonelf] • Date [14 Dec 09] • Not Rated
I don't think Alli should become a Scooby, this is right before Buffy and Willow try to cement Xander into the Zeppo role and try to make him fray adjacent. I would say instead let Xander form his own circle of contacts and support. There are a dozen events of power that could grant Xander or his allies boosts in the next year. Something like if either Xander is able to get Jack's zombie gang on his side (Zeppo episode) or manages to take control of them by claiming the correct fetish from O'Toole. Another might be if Xander is able to make a deal with Ethan either to get training himself in Chaos magic or someone like Jonathan that he is on friendly terms with. An even better possibility is if Xander was able to claim the Glove of Myneghon and get Alli to reforge it into something that he could use himself with a little more control. Then if Xander would get exposed to the telepathic demon blood (diluted either with water or hours old secondary exposure) like if he were cleaning off a weapon or found a small spot of it on a jacket of his , it would round off a new team that could act separately from the Scoobies with maybe being even further in the shadows so the underground would not even really know about them.
It could definitely be even more interesting than just throwing a new unique player into the scoobies and seeing how everyone would react.
Do you like the thoughts? ~Reflections
Comments from author:
Good thoughts, I'm working up a chapter 2 and I am not revising Alli's history. First off, I have plans for her and her family's past. I'm trying to find a place where I can link BTVS and Eberron. The Zeppo will gain power he knows not. I'm probably not going to give him huge powers, but they'll be powerful.
interesting. I like it. You could make her a scooby or just make her a secret supplyer of xander's maybe she and her dad teach him things? either way its a great start to a good story
Review By [nightowl] • Date [14 Dec 09] • Not Rated
Hawklan