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Star of Faith

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Review of chapter "7" from FinalGuardian
Review:
The story is great but things are rushed and several scene's feel like they were just slapped together early on.
Review By [FinalGuardian] • Date [26 Mar 14] • Rating [7 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Chapter 27" from Morgomir
Review:
I liked the story a lot. Even with having no pre knowledge about the animé series in question. I'd be more than happy to spell check the sequel.
Comments from author:
tx for the offer, i currently have some one spell checking and he has already returned quite a lot, I also have someone doing more than that but sadly sofar i only got around 1k of words back. I'll give him a week more. After that and if nothing came back your help would be awesome.
Review By [Morgomir] • Date [28 Sep 12] • Rating [10 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Chapter 27" from lordamnesia
Review:
Love this story to pieces! Very well done! I would be willing to at least spell check the sequel if no one else will. Again, very, very well done!
Comments from author:
tx for the offer, i currently have some one spell checking and he has already returned quite a lot, I also have someone doing more than that but sadly sofar i only got around 1k of words back. I'll give him a week more. After that and if nothing came back your help would be awesome.
Review By [lordamnesia] • Date [26 Sep 12] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter 27" from Iamthewalrus
Review:
Rule 34, if it exists, there is porn of it. No exceptions

Was expecting Faith to yell that out for some reason
Review By [Iamthewalrus] • Date [21 Sep 12] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter 27" from Raider
Review:
I volunteer to help with this story.
Comments from author:
tx for the offer. At the moment I already have someone helping out with the sequel. Now I will have to see if I get something back. If you are interested I could use some help with the other fics I still have open:

ByTheRollOfADie
A reason to be Atheist
The Web of Xander
kishooten
The Wizard of Sunnydalea
Knight no more

If you want to help with one of those just drop me your email so that I can send you the file.

Bye, Olli


John.
And Olli is doing a incredible work mixed with a miracle in reforming My old works.
saldy im still somewhat out of contact with anybody thanks to problem with real life. :(
Review By [Raider] • Date [20 Sep 12] • Rating [10 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Chapter 27" from (Recent Donor)tammin
Review:
Great story; You did a good job meshing the different universes together. At the end one thing that Ranma doesn't realize is that without his curse, he has no reason to hold any of the fiancés at bay and the mess that Gemna has made of the Saotome family honor is going to come home to roost. Who will the lucky girl be? Ukyo, one of the Tendo girls, or one of the dozens of other girls that might be coming to Tokyo. The chaos hasn't stopped in Nerima.
Review By [(Recent Donor)tammin] • Date [20 Sep 12] • Rating [9 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Chapter 27" from EroSlackerMicha
Review:
wow, its over. even Tenshi couldn't stop Glory...
why didn't they tractor beam her into space?

looking forward to whenever the sequel sees the light of day
Comments from author:
Well i already put a evil ass in Saturn. would not wanted it to be overpopulated.
Review By [EroSlackerMicha] • Date [20 Sep 12] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter 27" from Eureka
Review:
It's over? AWWW!
I really liked this story.
Comments from author:
good to hear and just this part is over....as I said there is already a sequel....one of you fine readers already offered his help. Now we just have to see if he comes trough with it or runs away screaming after seeing the raw data from Hatten :)
Review By [Eureka] • Date [20 Sep 12] • Rating [10 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Chapter 27" from (Recent Donor)tchizek
Review:
Wow great ending!
Review By [(Recent Donor)tchizek] • Date [20 Sep 12] • Rating [10 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Chapter 26" from AshestoAshes
Review:
I don't really know how long, but I'll probably still keep following this for a bit in the hope it gets better. (Though I think I'm hoping for that already quite a few chapters.) This story's originality is its only plus I guess. Outside of the originality, it was never a really high quality story in my opinion, but this chapter went a bit too far.

Dealing with the supernatural is for the supernatural. You don't call the police for that, except if you know it's harmless (to the police) delaying tactics, or if you're completely immoral yourself, or perhaps if it's absolutely the only way to save mathematically significantly more lives.
If the police get involved by themselves, it's just tough luck for them (or even tough luck and a bother for the heroes, since they are supposed to try to save them then). However, pulling them into the fight and throwing them as disposable sandbags at the immortal hell goddess, who you know (or in this case suspect) they won't be able to fight and who will bash their heads in without being much delayed really, is simply not done.

That's the big thing, but each chapter has its small things too, besides the spelling which is understandable but still annoying. In this chapter for example: for some reason, Faith yelling "NOOOO!" simply doesn't fit for me;
considering letting Dawn's soul depart and then simply calling the replacement "Dawn" and hoping she'll be "almost as nice" is a big WTF;
and, tied in with the big point, the overly dramatic (and very callous) appearance of Ryoko. Really, call the police, misinform them, and then in the middle of the fight inform them in an overly dramatic way they can't kill Glory and even shouldn't kill her... How retarded do you have to be to think that's a good, intelligent (and morally correct) idea?! "And, oh yeah, we're only using you to see how we can best fight them. Don't mind me hanging around. Go on and let your brains be splattered over the pavement." ...riiight.
And, btw, I think she wouldn't be slowed very much by losing her car, perhaps even the opposite. And it would have been a bit more of a bother for her if they'd simply used their own super powers to destroy the car by folding it around her so she'd have to break out. More effective, though still quite useless, but certainly less loss of life.

It always scraped by with its originality, somewhere around a 6, perhaps sometimes a 7, but now it went down to 4, or even 3, in this chapter.

EDIT

There are quite a few problems with your logic: use of humor, means at their disposal, and expected results.

They just sent them without any preparation or help. If they wanted them to slow Glory down, which is their purpose, isn't it, just sending simple police and a few robots after a "terrorist" and then suddenly, when they are already committed with a useless force, explaining a few problems they'll have (invulnerable, repossessing hell goddess), they're just throwing water balloons at Glory. To stay within that comparison, that they short-circuited her with a lucky water balloon for not even five minutes was completely unexpected and quite useless, except for letting them know that *that* material wouldn't hold her, even with cooling it down.

And they expected that beforehand, and thought that the best the police would be able to do was destroying her car (which, like said above, I doubt would even slow her down, perhaps even the opposite).

They would perhaps have been more effective if they'd known what they would be dealing with. It's retarded on all accounts to throw lives away, and not even use the best means at their disposal that have the best results to expect. When trying to slow her down with regular forces with no regards for morals, by informing them beforehand they'd get better results. Allowing the police to attack will perhaps show a weakness - but it's pure luck and unexpected it did, even on a very small and quite useless scale - but it's not the best option. And by the time the police call in the better suited regular forces get to her, she's probably already thrashing the "heroes'" own base, because they were too retarded to inform the regulars what they would be dealing with.

The big problem there is also that you mix humor (Microsoft etc.) in the planning, with in the results pulping humans in a callous, useless, not-thought-through, uneconomical way. Perhaps they're immoral, but now they're immoral AND stupid, because they didn't make the best possible use of regular humans they could throw at the problem.

The example you give with volcanoes etc. is completely different, since you know then that that is the only thing that will work. Now it's a surprise to them that the police could even keep her busy for five minutes. Keeping morality out of it, that's simply stupid.

And BTW, aren't they now on tape, or witnessed, as having masterminded a useless loss of life, with obstruction of the police by not informing them better? They can say goodbye to their carefree life there (it will become obvious enough where they live when Glory trashes the place), and will have to move. Legal consequences will probably be more difficult since they can easily escape law enforcement.

And again rereading it... a carefree, grinning sniper, chatting, while his comrades are getting gruesomely killed, while this useless bint is floating around and offering him popcorn after having admitted to have pulled them in with faulty intelligence... That's a big resounding NO.

About Dawn: I guess Washu being "different" could explain it, but still, expecting people to be more okay with Dawn dying if they get a replica than if they were to simply let her die, sounds a bit off and it doesn't come out of the fic clearly that that's simply her idea of acceptable but not their idea of acceptable, since they don't protest against that notion that a flesh replica without the soul (which means she's still just as dead and this is just a coping mechanism or a pet animal to soothe their grief) is okay. There's no mention of retrieving the soul and putting it in the replica, and I'd say she should know better about their sensibilities and notions about bodies and souls after all this time of interacting with them.

It's not clear that she's simply playing with them. If that were true, it should be made obvious that Dawn isn't dying or that there are other possibilities to save her that she doesn't mention.
She's dying, so changing her into a hybrid to save her, or letting her die are the only two reasonable possibilities. Which is a no-brainer, only depending on how problematic it is to include her and how much they want her to live.
That it'd "change" her is only a little more problematic in the morality department than having an accident and then being operated on and perhaps even receiving transplants from total strangers while being unconscious and thus without consent.
Letting her die but keeping a clone with a different soul is not an acceptable possibility, and it is somewhat doubtful that Washu wouldn't know that. And if that's her "play", it has nothing to do with wanting to see the result of their joining. The soulless or different-souled Dawn replica is a useless distraction in the story.
Comments from author:
Consider that Glory getting the key would mean the end of the universe. Azusa and Katsuhito would rather sink japan then allow that to happen.
The ethics are rutless but its the tactic of a warrior Katsuhito IS old milenium old his father Azusa is older. Both have been general over armies and both have send in soldiers to die in battle.

The idea to use the police force to slow her down is a ruthless yes. But as they can not kill Glory its a acceptable one in both Azusa and Katsuhito military trained mind.
Beside there is a reason why the Katsuhito/Yosho that lives like gentle priest is the WRONG person to be empera over jurari according to Tsunami and Yosho himself.

The man has a dark ruthless side against anybody that endager those he consider family.
He quite willing to sacrifise even family members just to make sure the rest of his family stay alive and well.
And that is a dark side Yosho knows about and is the reason he refused to take the throne of Jurari. He rather live in peace have families and love teach and care for them then allow his darker side a change to prosper.

allowing the polise to attack first give the Tenchi gang a change to analyse Glory strenght and weakness. Also hoping that the police have a way to contain her something nobody among the Tenchi gang have any idea on how to do. killing Glory do not work she just take over another mortal body and comeback.
weakening her do work. And as i said its Katsuhito/Yosho that made the battle plan.
Ryoko is not a hero by the way. She was forced to be a slave pirate and a weapon of destruction when she was under mindcontroll.
And she can be just as ruthless as Katsuhito is against those that hurt the people SHE care about.


The Dawn problem.
Washu is playing games.
Washu knows that Dawn have a power equal to the wing of the lightning hawk. And Washu is curius what would happen if Dawn would link up with Xander as part of his crew.
linking somebody up with out asking them is not normaly done.
The link binds people together allows them to talk mind to mind. Thats rather private thing. And its possible to remove the link later but turning Dawn in to a mass hybride as Washu also said had to be done is even worst.

Washu is asking Xander for mass DNA so she can CHANGE Dawn body from human to human hybrid. that if anything is immoral and wrong.

So Washu said its doing something wrong or allowing Dawn to die. You chose.


Should i need to tell you that Washu moral compass is not allways pointing the right direction.

morally and ethicly correct is a difficult question.
Answer a question whats wrong or right.

If there was a being that would destroy earth if it reached New York.
And that Earth destroying being was currently in Los Angeles.
You knew this.
1 nothing USA army have could destroy or capture that being.
2 the beings immortality would not work on natural lava flows.
3 you have a bomb that could turn Los Angeles in to a burning vulcano.
4 If you try to evaquate Los Angeles before turning it in to a vulcano the Being that planing to destroy Earth would escape and be able to reach New York and by by Earth.

What would you do save Earth and doom Los Angeles ?
right wrong green blue sometimes doing a lesser wrong is right if you can stop a greater wrong. but in the end the lesser wrong is still a wrong thing to do even if you save the world from something even greater.

as i live in europe i hope for the vulcano that would be cool earth go by by is not cool.
Review By [AshestoAshes] • Date [23 Aug 12] • Rating [4 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Chapter 26" from Mordre
Review:
I thought it was "Wesley Wyndham-Pryce"?
Comments from author:
it is...slipped through my fingers while rewriting this chapter. Tx for pointing it out. (Hawklan)
Review By [Mordre] • Date [23 Aug 12] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter 26" from Bobboky
Review:
Very good
Review By [Bobboky] • Date [22 Aug 12] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter 26" from michaelangelo
Review:
I have reservations about the ethics of somebody willing to delay Glory for ten minutes with the lives of hundreds of innocent police, why not just teleport her onto a deserted island in the middle of the Atlantic? or somewhere full of terrorists in the middle east.

"Suddenly something exploded and fragments of concrete and steel flew through the air like deadly missiles. As the smoke died down an angry and pissed of Glory stood alone in the crater, smoke and fire surrounded her nude body. A body that now looked like a twisted version of a female body. It was still human looking, but somehow you knew that it was evil and that it was a pure and simple disgusting piece of corruption standing there"... So she turned into Jocelyn Wildenstein? *shudder*
Comments from author:
Well the ethics might by a bit of rutless. Do consider that Katsuhito is over a millenium OLD. He has battle Glory before and knows he can not kill her permanent. He also knows that if Glory get the key the universe go by by.
Second HE is a warrior a soldier and rutless against his enemies. while he his a loving grandfather there is a reason why he would be the wrong ruler of Jurari. He simply to rutless against enemies. If Glory gets the key the universe go by by against that danger Katsuhito and his father Azusa would sink japan before allowing Glory to win.

And teleport her is difficult even imposible. IF Glory a hellgoddess do not wanted to be teleported SHE will not be teleported regadless of how much the Jurarian fleet is trying to teleport her.

And Jocelyn Wildstein now that is even more scary then Glory is.
Review By [michaelangelo] • Date [22 Aug 12] • Rating [5 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Chapter 26" from lordamnesia
Review:
This story is possibly the best Tenchi/Buffy story out there, and one of the main reasons I check Twisting every day! Keep up the outstanding work, I love what you did with Glory and can't wait to see what happens next!
Review By [lordamnesia] • Date [22 Aug 12] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter 26" from Eureka
Review:
DANG!!!!!!!! Glory is showing her trueish colors huh? Hope they get Dawn off planet quickly.
Review By [Eureka] • Date [22 Aug 12] • Rating [10 out of 10]
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