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Review of chapter "Caretaker" from Netchka
Just reread again after a long time. Can't wait for the next chapters to be posted. :-) :-) :-)
Review By [Netchka] • Date [21 Aug 13] • Rating [9 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Caretaker" from EllandrahSylver
You know, you're very good at creating incredibly convoluted plots that manage to make perfect sense. There tend to be places where I raise my eyebrows and have a 'WTF?' moment, but then something else happens, and the pieces just fit.

Gotta say, Ducky being Winry's grandson is interesting. It sounds like he's the Grandchild of the REAL Winry, though, which makes me wonder - when exactly did Ed and Winry have any time alone during the Conquerer of Shamballa battle? Or is he the grandson of the Amestris Winry, who somehow went through the Gate and actually wound up in Germany in the early 20th century, and an Ed analogue? Because that could get really confusing.

As for Maes/Roy/Gibbs' notion, was I seeing things, or did he imply that AL was more likely to have been Ducky's grandfather? Because that would have been

This story just smacks of Deus ex Machina, but it's not irritating about it. More like, God, or whatever actually controls the Portals of Truth, saw an opportunity to repair damage that was never meant to be done in either of his creations, and took it.

I'm going to track this story now. I don't even WATCH NCIS, but I've read enough fic for it to be familiar with Gibbs and his team, and can follow the story pretty well.

Edit: The English version... Oh, that's right... the first time Ed gets pushed through, when he finds out his father is alive on the other side, they're in London... Yeah, that's an interesting twist. It also implies that Winry went through on purpose, when she discovered that the Permanent Gate wasn't closing, probably in order to LOOK for the boys. Assuming the English Ed remembered the period when his analogue was running around in his body, I can see him getting together with Winry when she found him. (No, I don't expect yoiu to answer this ,it's pure speculation, based on what I had mostly figured out, you just reminded me of a point I'd forgotten. A missing puzzle piece.)

I've actually got an FMA/BtVS cross rolling around in my head at the moment, but I'm not entirely sure how much time I'll have to give to it. I'll have to see how insistent it is about being written.
Comments from author:
Thank you! *very, very flattered* I intended to explain Winry's relation to Ducky once they ran the blood tests, but then lack of enthusiasm-induced writer's block set in and it got rather stalled. But, to answer some non-spoilery questions, no, Al is not Ducky's grandfather. In this case, that would be extremely weird, as you said.

Also, read back to when Roy and Maes were using Gibbs' body to explain what's happened to the Gate of Truth since Ed and Al didn't wind up back in 1923. Also, if you saw the original version's last three episodes ('Death', very specifically), you'll recall the Englsh version of Ed that the Amestrian Ed accidentally possessed when shoved through the Gate...

*must not spoil*

But the point is, YES, the Amestrian Winry was Ducky's grandmother. As this story has already put forth, just because someone goes through the Gate or is pulled through it doesn't mean they'll wind up where they though they might. Or WHEN they thought they might.

*wicked, wicked grin*
Review By [EllandrahSylver] • Date [3 Feb 12] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Aftershocked" from adoxerella
Well, I plowed through this in one read, which is saying a lot since I tend to play reading ping pong where I am reading a longer fic.

I entered into this thing completely clueless, read some wiki, was only moderately clueless and I still understood most of what is happening. As someone who tends to read fic outside of her fandom when bored, this is a good sign. It means the uninitiated can follow along.

Not to say that there were not things I am sure I missed. But the little easter eggs in stories for die hard fans are there to make said fans swoon. Everyone else can enjoy the story, they just don't get their special treat.

Alright, now on to the meat of the story. I am already interested by how you have started blending the FMA world into the NCIS world. Your explanation of what happened makes sense (as much as wibbly wobbly timey whimey things make sense) and I can already see that it will have an effect on Al and Ed who went through so much to keep both worlds separate. The fact that I've read a couple wiki sites and I can still infer that from how you wrote the characters and their reactions says a lot for your writing.

As I've said before the time you spend world building in your stories is impressive. You manage to weave little bits together into a tightly bound whole without pounding the reader over the head with anvils to get there. This was especially apparently in the 'mental' conversations between all three 'souls' residing in Gibbs body. I have seen this done for various characters in various ways, and often it is a mess. You did not make a mess, instead you managed to make clear how the two characters from the FMA would combine to create Gibbs as an analog in this world. And if I can figure this out with limited knowledge of the characters, I can only imagine what will happen with people who are familiar with both 'verses.

It was a very enjoyable tale, and I look forward to seeing how you continue to blend things together. I am also looking forward to seeing what effect the newcomers arrival has in the future.
Comments from author:
I waited until I was fully conscious again to respond to this. GUSH! Is that enough for you or were you hoping for more? *chuckles*
Review By [adoxerella] • Date [16 Mar 10] • Rating [8 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Two Worlds Gone Intertwined" from zafaran
{giggles} More, more, more, please. I know just enough of FMA and NCIS to have context on this story, and I'm finding it a delight. It's interesting to keep track what is going on between the two (or more) personalities in each body, and I can't wait to find out what happens next. I hope your muse and schedule will allow you to write and post more chapters sometime soon. Keep up the good work. Zafaran {mailto:} zafaran {at} fastmail {dot} fm
Comments from author:
I'm so glad you've enjoyed what I have up so far. I've posted everything so far. I actually started this in the beginning of November, but it wasn't for NaNoWriMo. I just didn't want to put the idea down.

I'd be happy to oblige, just as soon as my beta finishes her own festivities for this time of year. *nods* She tends to help me with my ideas.

Have you read any of 'Middle Son' since you last commented? Enjoy?
Review By [zafaran] • Date [28 Dec 09] • Not Rated
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