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Xander on Liberty Ave.

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Review of chapter "Chapter 4" from lothlorien
Review:
great story. please continue soon
Review By [lothlorien] • Date [3 Feb 10] • Rating [10 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Chapter 4" from DarkFaerieYumi
Review:
Cool. This is interesting.
Review By [DarkFaerieYumi] • Date [7 Jan 10] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter 4" from musiclover
Review:
i like how this is going i dont really have a preference for emmet love this
Review By [musiclover] • Date [5 Jan 10] • Rating [10 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Chapter 4" from spanderfan
Review:
How bout Jonothan? I think it would be cute.

Another amazing chap! I wanna see if they run into Faith. She's in that area right.
Review By [spanderfan] • Date [5 Jan 10] • Rating [10 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Chapter 3" from Wolflady
Review:
You do know that one child per couple is negative population growth, right? You need a replacement for each parent, plus an occasional extra to make up for the ones that either don't live long enough to reproduce or for some reason or other don't. That is just to stay even.
Review By [Wolflady] • Date [4 Jan 10] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter 3" from Alianna
Review:
Awesome scene! :) more please!
Comments from author:
thank you I actually had just read your challenge maybe I will do one with Xander and Brian too I actually had a few reviews with them asking for that or trio relationship
Review By [Alianna] • Date [3 Jan 10] • Rating [9 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Chapter 3" from ReflectionsOfReality
Review:
That is probably one of the best things about writing fan fiction, it is an evolving art form with each progressive submission potentially being better written than the last. You get to look over your work and discover which parts you liked and which ones you know you can improve on (even if you are not sure how) and try to do better. It might not always work but even falling short on goals can become another lesson.

It is said that men learn best from what they get wrong rather than what they do right.

You are already an exceptional writer that is constantly expanding their horizons.

Hey and consider this, even though there are places for you to improve on your sex scenes there are a lot worse off efforts out there. Heck I have seen sex scenes of the same caliber as See Spot Run.

They got naked, dick A went in hole B and they made a mess. Even worse with multiple same sex participants an obvious downside is the sometimes pointlessness of pronouns.

Here is hoping that your quality always improves without it affecting your quantity at all,
~Reflections

PS Do you think that the sex scenes are the stumbling blocks for some of your other stories? Would you like some help in pushing the sex beyond carbon copy vanilla?
Comments from author:
I actually would like your help in writing sex scenes if you don`t mind helping me that is
Review By [ReflectionsOfReality] • Date [2 Jan 10] • Rating [7 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Chapter 3" from ReflectionsOfReality
Review:
Ok it was hot and all at least the concept of Xander and Michael together BUT there were some elements of the sex scene that could have been done better. First thing this is something that can use all 5 senses as well as divide touch into its components, pleasure, pain, pressure and temperature.

The scene went too quick and it came across as almost plastic or pure porn. First unlike porn, sex in real life is messy. It needs preparation and it should not be perfect as much as someone claims that that is how they want it.
---
“Turn around.”

“Oh!!” Michael moaned as he turned to rest on his stomach. He swore he could feel Xander's eyes drag down his body. “Beautiful,” Xander whispered as he carefully spread his cheeks to expose Michael's winking rosebud. Xander fumbled a moment with the tube of lube that he pulled from his pants pocket on the floor and made sure to apply a large amount to his finger before he traced the outside rim of his lover's anus smirking at the moan his actions caused. Pushing it in Xander quickly realized that Michael had prepared himself earlier but to be safe he carefully lubed up a second, third and even fourth finger before he began working them into the very reactive man bellow him one at a time. In and out taking care to make sure that his partner was ready for his a bit above average endowment. Xander tore open the condom packet using his free hand and teeth before he quickly rolled the rubber protection down his length.

By this time both he and Michael were already panting and sweat was dripping down their nude bodies. Xander made sure to slather as much lube as possible on the outside of his condom before he pulled his fingers free of Michael's rectum eliciting a groan of disappointment from his lover. Barely taking care he lined up his covered cock and thrust into Michael's tight hole stopping for a moment when Michael tightened around his cock head involuntarily and a quiet hissing sound escaped from both of their lips. The pressure was almost too much, the friction on the borderline between pleasure and pain and Xander was about to pull out before the man below him partially relaxed and nodded his head in a way that Xander assumed meant he wanted him to continue. Xander pushed a little more into the other man only to stop when Michael tensed up once more and the process repeated inch by glorious inch until Xander was burried all the way within Michael balls deep. To Xander the pressure was amazing and he felt he was in an inferno.

He put his head next to Michael’s head and said, “This might not be as long as I wanted it to be.”

Michael turned his head around and kissed him and said, “This is perfect Xan.”
---
Just a little more attention to the little details and it makes that scene a dozen times realer.

You know instead of providing costumes for the Babylon costume party it might be easier to simply cast a spell on the premises itself instead. A few busts of Janus spread throughout Babylon to act as a focus of the spell and maybe rework it so that people are more aware when they become their costume choices so that nothing too dangerous or against peoples will happens. Maybe even put in some time or some distance limits to make it safer.

Just some ideas that would make it not quite a repeat.

Do you like the additions to the smut?
~Reflections
Comments from author:
yeah I do it's just that it was my first time writing that much level of smut and I do like your ideas next time it shall be better done I hope
Review By [ReflectionsOfReality] • Date [2 Jan 10] • Rating [7 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Chapter 3" from kayron
Review:
I like the idea of an Ethan and Ted pairing. During the series I liked the character of Ted, flaws and all, I just felt kind of sorry for him because he had such terrible luck finding anybody decent. I don't know that I would call Ethan decent, but he certainly is dedicated once he decides to pursue something. An example of this would be his acts of chaos, which were designed to drive Giles crazy. Ted could fulfill Ethan's need to make a stuffy and uptight person loosen up! Xander and Mikey are moving along quite nicely.
Review By [kayron] • Date [2 Jan 10] • Rating [9 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Chapter 2" from (Past Donor)MistressAshley
Review:
I love this!! Two of my favorite shows together and Xander/Michael is a great idea. I always felt Michael never got enough love in the first season. He reminded me of Xander in that way. Xander seemed to always get the short end of the stick so it'll be nice to see them together and, hopefully, happy. Can't wait to read more. :)
Review By [(Past Donor)MistressAshley] • Date [1 Jan 10] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter 2" from kayron
Review:
I love the more confidant Xander! That works well with Micheal, because in the series he always seemed to need a more dominant partner. It's also really great for his self esteem that someone chose HIM over the 'great Brian Kinney'. Brian rarely had a problem with his confidence because he thought that everybody wanted him, and most of the time he was right! I'll be tracking!
Comments from author:
Thank you I am glad that you like my more confidant Xander and in most stories involving Xander and slash Xander almost always seems to be a bit submissive I wanted to see a more dominant Xander so I think this works thanks as always for your reviews
Review By [kayron] • Date [1 Jan 10] • Rating [9 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Chapter 2" from musiclover
Review:
pk this is interesting
Review By [musiclover] • Date [1 Jan 10] • Rating [6 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Chapter 2" from spanderfan
Review:
Awww! I like the pairing! They are both comic book geeks (in canon). Is Xander still into comics? I kinda wish he was a little less confident. Let Michael take the reigns a bit. Cuz in canon Michael was always the sub. But not make Xander a pushover.
Review By [spanderfan] • Date [1 Jan 10] • Rating [10 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Chapter 2" from ReflectionsOfReality
Review:
So uncle Ethan ever play pranks on his little nephew Xander? Like letting him have some of his costume stock for Halloween? Because personally I think a Captain Jack Harkness (Dr. Who, Torchwood) might be a perfect compliment for THIS Xander, not only is the man resourceful but it might allow Xander a chance to make a lot of money with knowledge of future technology and how it was developed even if the laws of physics and reality might not be exactly the same in a BtVS reality so some of them would have to be reworked to work properly. That and of course he has a very similar point of view when it comes to sexual partners, alien/demon/species/gender what does it mater?

It would be even better if Ethan left some odds and ends that Xander could use to help the QAF cast with their costumes... personally I would love to at least see Justin with fairy wings and a magic wand... and maybe Brian with a halo (particularly if he ends up as an Angel of the Dogma variety and freaks out about losing his sexual equipment)... and I am thinking about something like Dracula for Michael as I can see him being very capable with Gypsy magics (one theory about the whole coming back to life and turning into bats, a wolf, mist etc.).

It would be a LOT of fun.

What do you think?

I mean the odds and ends would only have to be some wings, a wand, a halo, some vamp teeth and maybe a cape. A Jack Harkness costume could be put together with stuff from Xander's wardrobe and maybe a sonic screwdriver or some sort of ray gun.

I do like where this story is going though I have to wonder if there are any amusing stories of a young Xander accidentally mating with another demon... huh it also would not be unfeasible for him to have a kid somewhere out there that is half and half with something. And considering that some of the dimensions move faster than Earth he could have I kid that was already half his age (then again with some dimensions it would not be unfeasible to have him as a forefather of an entire civilization but I don't think you want to got there) that spends most of their time with their other parent. Just imagining Michael's reaction of coming home one day with seeing a perfectly normal kid sitting doing homework with Xander introducing him "Oh yeah that's my son..."

Poke the bunnies and see if they will multiply...
~Reflections
Review By [ReflectionsOfReality] • Date [1 Jan 10] • Rating [8 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Chapter One" from IceWhisper
Review:
Ooh. What about a Brian/Justin/Xander threesome? The idea of Brian/Xander is just nummy, but it would be wrong to leave Justin out. Haha. =)
Review By [IceWhisper] • Date [31 Dec 09] • Not Rated
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