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Long Lost Brothers

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Review of chapter "Chapter 58" from Morgomir
Review:
Great chapter. Keep up the good work.
Comments from author:
Thanks for the review Morgomir.
Review By [Morgomir] • Date [4 Jan 14] • Rating [10 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Chapter 57" from Morgomir
Review:
Great chapter. Keep up the good work.
Comments from author:
Thanks for the review
Review By [Morgomir] • Date [4 Oct 13] • Rating [10 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Chapter 57" from CageFire
Review:
Nice chapter. Keep up the nice work.
Comments from author:
Thanks for the review CageFire.
Review By [CageFire] • Date [25 Sep 13] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter 56" from Morgomir
Review:
Great chapter. Sorry for the late review. Keep up the good work.
Comments from author:
Thanks for the review Morgomir.
Review By [Morgomir] • Date [16 Sep 13] • Rating [10 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Chapter 56" from removedauthor
Review:
Fantastic chapter as always. I cant wait to read the next chapter.
Review By [removedauthor] • Date [12 Aug 13] • Rating [10 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Chapter 6" from Stationary
Review:
I've read this story, or at least, most of this story, before and I love it because I really love SGU/Star Trek crossovers. But...it's a bit irritating to have to read "and" being used so many times when you can just end the sentence, even if it's technically now a fragment. Or the use of eclipses where you don't need them. Or the way the characters talk to each other when it comes to technical matters; I mean, I understand that when discussing design, function, and all that stuff that you can't really be that descriptive or creative about it but come on! I'm sure you could do something about it. And the dialogue and interaction between characters, you might want to change them a little, just enough that it isn't so awkward. But the core storyline and sequence of events is fine, even if a bit fast-paced.
Comments from author:
I using 'and' as a conjunction. Conjunctions are used to connect parts of speech and to be taken jointly.

I don't know a lot about technical matters and I'm doing the best I can.

I've changed a lot of dialogue into 'thoughts'.

As for being fast paced, my mind works that way. I believe in getting right to the point.

Thanks for the review.
Review By [Stationary] • Date [20 Jul 13] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter 55" from Morgomir
Review:
Great chapters. Keep up the good work.
Comments from author:
Thanks for the review Morgomir.
Review By [Morgomir] • Date [14 Jul 13] • Rating [10 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Chapter 55" from CageFire
Review:
Great new chapter, keep up the excellent work. :)
Comments from author:
Thanks for the review CageFire.

I read where Starfleet had ships similar to the Defiant in the 31st Century - and they did learn their lesson from the Dominion.
Review By [CageFire] • Date [12 Jul 13] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter 54" from jhor
Review:
I've read this story twice and have liked it each time. I hope you will finish it one day. Thank you for sharing it :-)
Comments from author:
I'm glad you like my story. I have another chapter to post within the next few days.

Did you notice some of the changes I made to the story?

Thanks for the review.
Review By [jhor] • Date [1 Jul 13] • Rating [9 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Chapter 12" from DragonBard
Review:
Interesting.

Asgard 'are' humanoid, it was just the fact that they'd been cloning themselves for so long that caused them to be their present appearance.
Comments from author:
I didn't know that.

Thanks for the review.
Review By [DragonBard] • Date [22 Jun 13] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter 53" from removedauthor
Review:
I love the whole story so far and I look forward to the next chapter.
Comments from author:
Thanks for the review.
Review By [removedauthor] • Date [22 Jun 13] • Rating [10 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Chapter 53" from CageFire
Review:
Nice new chapter. Keep up the nice work. One thing, unless your supergates differ in design from the ori supergates, there /are/ no chevrons. Check youtube for it activating. It kind of powers up in a counter-clockwise rotation.
Comments from author:
I took it out, and thanks for being one of my many beta readers.

Thanks for the review.
Review By [CageFire] • Date [21 Jun 13] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter 4" from Shayna
Review:
Cool the AGF haven't forgotten their history... Readying the previous chapter, I thought something like that might've happened...
Comments from author:
I corrected all the chapters in my story and added dialogue in a few other chapters. I've also added a new chapter (53) today.

The AGF have never forgotten their history. That's why they're helping Starfleet with many things, and they've signed a defense pact and science agreement with them.

Thanks for the review.
Review By [Shayna] • Date [17 May 13] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter 3" from Shayna
Review:
“The ones from the first world,” Marell answered. “No one knows what happened to them, or if they’re dead or alive because there hasn’t been any communication with them for over three-hundred-thirty years.”

Didn't AGF check on Earth even ONCE in all these years???? That sounds a little weird and stupid on their part...
Marell called earth "the first world". Please tell me he actually knew the name of earth and for some security reason decided to not use it!
Review By [Shayna] • Date [17 May 13] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter 18" from Stationary
Review:
I like your basic plot and the world-building that comes afterwards but the story is hampered by way too much technical jargon at once, not enough character introspection/description to smooth the flow of the story, some ooc (out of character) reactions, and the pace overall was way too fast. It's got the potential to be a really good story but you need to slow down, add something besides the techno-babble (ie. Information dump) and clean it up a little, focusing especially on character interaction, thought process and reaction.
Comments from author:
I only write how I think and I like stories that get right to the point.

The story has been cleaned up, and thanks for the review.
Review By [Stationary] • Date [30 Jan 13] • Not Rated
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