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Metro

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Review of chapter "Finding Yourself" from (Past Donor)lucidity
Review:
Fantastic fic! SO glad I happened upon it! Very fun:)

'lucidity
Review By [(Past Donor)lucidity] • Date [1 May 09] • Rating [9 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Finding Yourself" from (Past Donor)athenewolfe
Review:
very lovely story!
Review By [(Past Donor)athenewolfe] • Date [13 Jan 09] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Finding Yourself" from Bobboky
Review:
cool
Review By [Bobboky] • Date [8 Aug 06] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Metro" from Wendy
Review:
This was great! Very much enjoyed the meshing of the two worlds and thought it covered all the niches. Can't wait to read the sequel!
Review By [Wendy] • Date [11 Apr 04] • Rating [10 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Finding Yourself" from VillageOrchid
Review:
Umm. You didn't write an exit scene for Lex outside the restaurant. He was there, not written leaving, and then not there in the next scene. Otherwise, pretty exciting stuff. Thanks for writing and sharing.
Comments from author:
That's a really good point. It doesn't say where Chloe is either now that I've reread it. I guess the two of them just walked off together while Lois and Faith went to do scooby stuff and then Chloe met them back at the dorm. It's not the biggest continuity error in this story but thanks for pointing it out.
Review By [VillageOrchid] • Date [11 Apr 04] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Living the Story" from VillageOrchid
Review:
I enjoyed the plot again in this chapter. Chloe also reveals the secondary reason why ambious Lex would want to get closer to her. I'm sure he's looking up when her 18th birthday is (age of consent in the U.S.), so he can try to keep it coolish until then... without scaring her away.
Comments from author:
In some states in the US (like Kentucky) the age of consent is only 14 but there will be no Chloe/Lex nookie. I don't think I've rated this highly enough for that.
Review By [VillageOrchid] • Date [11 Apr 04] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Writing the Story" from VillageOrchid
Review:
I like the plot in this part of the story -- here we see that maybe Chole will become known more as a fiction writer, and Lois as the reporter. Still think that Wes should have tried to identify the spirit, though. If the chair itself is not part of that spirit, just part of its energies, okay. But needed a little more exposition on the exorcisim... even fictionalized one.
Review By [VillageOrchid] • Date [11 Apr 04] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "The Other Club" from VillageOrchid
Review:
Way cute. And Faith if she is bi, not correcting Chloe was also in character, because it would have been about her not Chloe. And Mr. Lex... needs a little summer fun, does he? Well more fun for us, then.
Review By [VillageOrchid] • Date [11 Apr 04] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Weirder Than Smallville" from VillageOrchid
Review:
That was precious.... finally figuring she could call Wesely. I half-expected Cloe to call Willow up on Faith's behalf, explaining she was the local scoobie -- and (half lyin) since there was only one of her...
Comments from author:
I really like Willow but I don't actually like writing her too much because Jinni and others do it so well that I don't want to impinge. Anyway, I don't think that Willow and Lois would get along at all.
Review By [VillageOrchid] • Date [11 Apr 04] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "The Sad Tale of Jordan" from VillageOrchid
Review:
That was really interesting! Looking forward to finding out what happened/caused it.
Review By [VillageOrchid] • Date [11 Apr 04] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Enter Chloe" from VillageOrchid
Review:
An interesting and complex chapter. Yeah, Faith on parole, all she has to do is stay in Kansas. And Angel, despite being a reformed vampire, started out as a self-centered mmm p-word that rhymes with "lick".
Comments from author:
I thought it would be too easy if Faith could run off to California at the first sign of trouble. This way, she's forced to work hard to build a life in Kansas.
Review By [VillageOrchid] • Date [11 Apr 04] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "The Key to Study" from VillageOrchid
Review:
Interesting twist -- Faith feels she had known Dawn, but now wakes up with memories of no-Dawn? Just asking to see if I'm following it right.
Comments from author:
Due to Faith's link with Buffy, when Buffy discovers that Dawn isn't 'real', the alternative memories also surface in Faith. I tried to imagine Faith's evil period with Dawn there. Apparently the animated series (should it ever happen) will be set in the High School years (seasons 1-3) but with Dawn there so it's how the Scoobs remember it as opposed to what actually happened.
Review By [VillageOrchid] • Date [11 Apr 04] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "The Morning After" from VillageOrchid
Review:
I like that you related her positive displine for physical training through her potential-time training, rather than relating it to a prison past-time. Working out was a great deal of her schooling, as you say she was taken away from her family when still very young. I'm surprised that you've decided that as a pre-teen potential she killed 17 vamps, but with her Watcher and her pre-slayer strength/senses training it isn't impossible. Very power-rangers-ish.
Young teen with attitude and just some training that might put her at a gymnast's athletic level. Though I imagine some of her training might have included weapons and hand-to-hand basics, as some evil magical things might be able to scent out her potential status and want to use her for some arcane ritual. I sense you may neeed to write some original fic about a young teen with either some martial arts training or gymnatisc physicality fighting the forces of evil (wink).
I encourage you, if you are so inclined.
Comments from author:
I actually like the idea of cheerleaders fighting evil because they have the fitness and gymnastic skills to do it but we don't have cheerleaders in Australia so everything I know about them comes from TV and movies.

I am actually working on some original fiction but it's so much harder than fanfic! In fanfic you already have characters and settings. I don't need to create a clear picture in the reader's mind because they already have one from TV. I'll think about it.
Review By [VillageOrchid] • Date [11 Apr 04] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Explanations" from VillageOrchid
Review:
Hmm, either Lois Lane took that Kolchack series to heart when she was a kid or there's another story to tell. I'm frankly surprised that she so doesn't want to report supernatural, though she's willing to believe that it exists. Hope you explain further in your story. Also almost too convenient for the hidden closet - - please come up for a reason, if you can. Maybe Lois researches past occupants of the room and realizes that a 1960s hacker or a 1970s drug dealer put them in?
Comments from author:
You do realize that you've just forced me to write another sequel after Cosmo? There has to be something about the dorm and Cosmo is almost entirely set in Smallville.
Review By [VillageOrchid] • Date [11 Apr 04] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "The Club" from VillageOrchid
Review:
Nice tension at the end. Nice mocking of some of the series conventions (kung fu moves of the newly dead), and nice display of slayer strength with conventional weapon (taking of a vamp's arm).
Comments from author:
Dammit! I can't take credit for either of the bits you liked in that chapter. The kung fu moves of the newly dead is something Buffy and Dawn comment on in season 7 somewhere and the arm thing is from the Buffy movie.
Review By [VillageOrchid] • Date [11 Apr 04] • Not Rated
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