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Wizard And Slayer And Human, Oh My!

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Review of chapter "Chapter Five" from Wadewilson
Review:
Great story.

Like how you had Xander and Faith vacation in Chicago and do everything Ferris Bueller did. And the Forest Gump reference in the end was good too.
Review By [Wadewilson] • Date [27 Jun 12] • Rating [10 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Chapter Five" from NimbustheMariner
Review:
It's hilarious, but Mac is shooting over the OOC horizon at Mach 4. Otherwise, excellent.
Review By [NimbustheMariner] • Date [19 Apr 12] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter Five" from NimbustheMariner
Review:
It's hilarious, but Mac is shooting over the OOC horizon at Mach 4. Otherwise, excellent.
Review By [NimbustheMariner] • Date [19 Apr 12] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter Five" from Grevane
Review:
I just had to hop on to say how wrong you were in this story. I mean, Mac completing sentences? Multiple ones?!?! Normally a dozen words would be a speech from Mac. (/sarcasm)

Other than that, the Dresden magic was a bit off, and you got the sight and tracking spell confused, but for the story it worked out nicely. Still a nice quick read.
Review By [Grevane] • Date [6 Mar 12] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter Five" from Oakheart
Review:
Cheerfully Fun! My only reservation is that Xander didn't drag Faith through the U-505 exhibit (I don't figure either of them to be the type to enjoy the Field Museum).

SD
Review By [Oakheart] • Date [12 Dec 11] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter Five" from Difdi
Review:
> where Harris had shoved his right hand in his front jeans pocket. An instant later, an explosion of magically-caused pain
> bloomed inside my head, as I staggered on my feet.

And if someone were to do that to Xander or Faith, with equal levels of provocation, it would be considered justification to kill. Heck, if Harry were to simply reflect the pain back at the source (somehow) it would be justification to kill the "evil wizard". I gotta say, good guys who act like bad guys probably aren't good guys, and use of torture devices is not a good guy trait.
Review By [Difdi] • Date [10 May 10] • Rating [8 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Chapter Five" from Yojo
Review:
Very amusing overall, fairly decent blend of the two universes; Mac is vastly OOC, but I guess that's authorial license at work. Dresden seem to be a tad underpowered, but if this is meant to be pre-Grave Peril, not a big deal. Overall, enjoyable read, technically very sound, and with a decent short plot that wraps everything up pretty well.
Review By [Yojo] • Date [9 May 10] • Rating [8 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Chapter Two" from Yojo
Review:
Very nice job on getting across Harry's curiosity and (justifiable) paranoia without jamming it down the readers throats; ditto to the geography. Too many people write crappy filler, but filling the locations with such detail really sets this apart.

Only critique is that while Harry has been known to abuse his Sight in times of desperation, it really seemed like he has started to go overboard with it. While recklessness definitely fits his character, using Wizard's Sight is by no means the only or even easiest way to keep track of someone, and considering he literally can't forget what he's seen, it makes me kind of skeptical about his current skill level.
Review By [Yojo] • Date [9 May 10] • Rating [8 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Chapter Five" from IsisArepo
Review:
This is a really good and amusing history. She made me miss Chicago, where I lived some years ago
Comments from author:
*Ahem.*

"He", that is, the masculine third-person, singular personal pronoun.

But thanks for the review!
Review By [IsisArepo] • Date [20 Apr 10] • Rating [10 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Chapter Five" from silentflux
Review:
This was awesomely fun :) Thanks for sharing!
Review By [silentflux] • Date [16 Apr 10] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter Five" from Orion
Review:
This was a fun read. Thanks.
Review By [Orion] • Date [14 Apr 10] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter Five" from staticice
Review:
Really good story, very enjoyable!
Review By [staticice] • Date [7 Mar 10] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter Five" from vitruvian
Review:
Very nice story, indeed. Only quibbles.

Considering that the Black Court vamps Harry later meets and manages to dispatch are throwing cars around, they appear to be quite a bit stronger than your common Sunnydale vamps, that two or three determined teenagers can deal with (at least when fledglings) when a certain blonde Slayer is out of town for the summer. Of course, this is early Harry, before he has those encounters. Anyway, doesn't really matter much to the story, but I kind of wonder how well your typical Slayer (we know Buffy or Faith would deal) would fare against those monsters.

Certainly the Hellmouth is bad, bad news but don't forget that the Blackstaff was himself responsible for a nuke-level explosion at Tunguska, once upon a time, and even discounting that as knowledge Harry doesn't have yet, he's aware of some pretty massive feats by members of the White Council. I'm not sure he'd be *quite* as impressed at the thought of sink hole city as pictured here.

The amount of magical taint on Xander (unless maybe it's supposed to be in part due to interrupting the flow of energy at the temple when he un-darked Willow) also seems a bit overblown, given that there are thousands of Sunnydale survivors who lived there about as long and left only weeks or days before the Scoobies.

I guess in general, it seemed like Harry was a little *too* overmatched from the get go, especially considering some of the feats *he's* capable of even from the first novel in the series. Shoot, if he'd been in the 'Dale with the ability to point his staff or blasting rod and say Fuego, a lot of their battles with vamps and even other demons would have been a lot shorter. I would have liked to see them on more even footing (maybe later in the novels, when Mouse would have immediately taken to Xander), but the story is great for the short piece that it is, and captures the tone of narration from the early books quite well.
Review By [vitruvian] • Date [2 Mar 10] • Rating [9 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Chapter Five" from kirkpatrick
Review:
Excellent. Only Harry could almost ruin a vacation not his own.
Review By [kirkpatrick] • Date [2 Mar 10] • Rating [8 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Chapter Five" from (Current Donor)dogbertcarroll
Review:
Nice work.
Review By [(Current Donor)dogbertcarroll] • Date [27 Feb 10] • Not Rated
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