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Tangled Plans

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Review of chapter "parts 6 and 7" from BenjiC
Review:
You seem to be missing some characters. I have not hear a peep from Xander or Giles. Where are they?
Review By [BenjiC] • Date [4 May 14] • Rating [7 out of 10]
Review of chapter "parts 104 & 105" from Dragonelf
Review:
You have done a great job and I love the way you portrayed Victor Creed by letting us see glimpses of an artistic talent.

I hope you will get inspired to write a sequel to this story.

::Gives the plot bunny some Cabbage roll::

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We can have facts without thinking but
we cannot have thinking without facts.
- John Dewey
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Review By [Dragonelf] • Date [15 Jun 10] • Rating [8 out of 10]
Review of chapter "parts 87 and 88" from valdimarian
Review:
Just a little quirk I have as a fellow Rosenberg, it's German for Red Mountain, a far more suitable e-mail address for Willow to use (my mother actually has an e-mail address with the English translation of her maiden name).

Liking the story so far, still reading through it though. I am wondering when / if S.H.I.E.L.D. is going to show up, or I guess it might be H.A.M.M.E.R. now. Still, got to love Nick Fury, and Xander's season 8 parody :P
Review By [valdimarian] • Date [27 Jul 09] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "parts 104 & 105" from MarcusSLazarus
Review:
Ah, the age-old classic X-Men/Buffy crossover; making Scott and Buffy cousins might be a constant theme, but it’s ALWAYS an enjoyable read, and you managed to incorporate a VERY interesting plot into the bargain.

I wasn’t sure about your use of Charlie at first- King’s characters are always tricky to write about, in my opinion- but you mentioned to EXPERTLY capture her essential qualities from “Firestarter” while ‘updating’ them to allow for her present location and lifestyle.

I have to admit, the bit where Charlie blew up Adam was particularly amusing; after all the trouble he caused in the series, there was something very… satisfying… in seeing that git get taken apart in a matter of seconds before he had the time to actually DO anything to the world at large (Even if I do wish he’d still managed to kill Walsh; there was something very... satisfying... in seeing that arrogant bitch get killed by something she thought she controlled).

Talking of Walsh, as for your portrayal of the Initiative…

You PERFECTLY captured everything I disliked about them; they might justify it by saying that they’re not going after ‘humans’, but as the soldiers reflect here, if it can walk, talk, and doesn’t WANT to harm anyone, at what point do demons (And mutants, of course; demons are just more ‘obvious’ examples given that mutants generally ‘start’ as humans before they manifest) start to ‘count’ as ‘people’?

Admittedly, I’m still not sure about your portrayal of Sabretooth- I’ll always think of him as the demented psycho who’s just out to rip Wolverine apart and doesn’t care who gets scratched in the process-, but it’s your call in the end, and it’s a minor enough plot detail for me to feel comfortable ignoring it in favour of everything else.

(Oh, and I wish Riley wasn’t involved, but that’s just based on my own personal dislike of the guy rather than anything else; it’s nothing YOU did, I assure you).

Keep up the good work!

(Any chance of a sequel?)
Comments from author:
First, I'm delighted that you enjoyed the story.

As for Buffy and Scott being related, the last names and the heroic tendencies make it very easy and tempting, but it isn't something I'd depend on for an entire long story to hang on for plot and direction. It gives a good reason why people with separate lives on opposite coasts would be in contact with each other. It also gives each of them someone outside of their crazy life that can understand, at least a little.

Thank you about Charlie - I wanted to try a different crossover. ADAM was far more capable than many of the baddies that the Scoobies faced, but he had to be destroyed. I also wanted him to go in a way that was different from what everybody else using ADAM has done - after all, why write a crossover if you're just going to keep everything the same? Besides that, Charlie can be very, very dangerous.

The Initiative... bothered me greatly, for exactly those reasons - as well as a few others. If they were such a capable military group, shouldn't there have been a drop in people getting killed by demons and vampires? Shouldn't there have been some noticeable sign that they were helping? Either they weren't really helping, or they weren't really that good - and I really didn't like the methodology we were shown. Maggie Walsh just needs to die. I haven't been able to find anything redeeming about her, she's not even fun to watch like Spike, Darla and Drusilla (all evil, and not people I'd want to meet, but fun characters to watch and write about). The more I heard about the Initiative back-story, the more it bothered me.

Sabertooth... has been portrayed in many different ways in the comics. Sometimes, he's the near-mindless killing machine, often with a helping of scary mental issues. Sometimes he's ruthless, rational, and capable of making and carrying out nasty plots. In the Age of Apocalypse, he was even one of the heroes. If the official writers can't be consistent about him, I take that to mean that I can write him one way in this, another in that, and a third way in yet a different story - I just try to keep him internally consistent within that story. For this, I used him because he's well known and so perfectly big and scary looking (with good reason!) that nobody would question him being mistaken for a hostile/demon. One of my themes in this story was that first impressions weren't always accurate, and that big & scary (or little & scary) didn't mean not a person, kill it. And I confess it was fun for Buffy to be objecting to her mom's questionable dating choice for once...

Riley... He was there in s4, and I couldn't come up with a good reason to change that. I'm all for changing canon in crossovers if it works, but not just because character #7 annoys me. His role wasn't big enough to justify to myself creating an OC or picking out an alternate choice just because I didn't care for Buffy's corn-fed boyfriend.

At this time, I'm not actively planning a sequel, though I haven't ruled out the possibility. It was a fun setting, and I might want to come back and play some more. For now, I want to try to finish up some other WiP's...
Review By [MarcusSLazarus] • Date [14 Dec 08] • Rating [8 out of 10]
Review of chapter "parts 104 & 105" from Ansku
Review:
Good fic :)
Comments from author:
Thanks : )
Review By [Ansku] • Date [5 Dec 08] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "parts 104 & 105" from (Recent Donor)JanessaRavenwood
Review:
Plans for a sequel?

And I really should thank you - you're the person who alerted me to the existence of this site in the first place (from your bio on FF.net) and now I'm an enthusiastic contributor and visit near-daily.
Comments from author:
Not so much plans as an allowance for the possibility. I have other projects I want to play with first.

You are quite welcome, and I'm glad that I've helped bring fresh blood to the site.
Review By [(Recent Donor)JanessaRavenwood] • Date [19 Nov 08] • Rating [10 out of 10]
Review of chapter "parts 101 to 103" from JoeDineen
Review:
Interesting chapter but I don't think you meant to repeat Riley's line near the end of the chapter. Be interesting to see where the Rosenbergs go from here.
Comments from author:
sigh - I'm not sure just how that line got duplicated, but it has been singlefied (is that a word? well.... I think the meaning makes it....)

As for the future of the Rosenbergs.... that's a very good question.
Review By [JoeDineen] • Date [22 Sep 08] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "parts 98 to 100" from JoeDineen
Review:
Now where are you going with this? I thought it was just about finished. It is not that i don't want more but it had reached a natural stopping point, perhaps it would have been better to start a sequal?
Review By [JoeDineen] • Date [11 Aug 08] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "parts 95 to 97" from robertlisle
Review:
Great story so far. The last two chapters have been a bit chaotic, I was wondering where our heroes were, though with Sheila paging Willow I hope they show up in the next chapter.
Review By [robertlisle] • Date [14 Apr 08] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "parts 89 and 90" from smolder
Review:
That was just awesome. Willow standing up to her mother and being completely coldly logical.....I loved it. I liked how you showed how she was a bit emotional near the end but covered it up so she wouldnt seem weak to her mother.
Comments from author:
Willow telling her mom to get a clue seems to be very popular : )

I was trying to show that it was a difficult thing for her to do, even if she didn't want her mom to see that it was hard.
Review By [smolder] • Date [26 Jan 08] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "parts 89 and 90" from Wolflady
Review:
I am not generally a Willow fan, but...Dang! Go Willow! I have been wondering for years about where Child Welfare was concerning Willow's parents. Of course, I was also wondering the same about Xander's parents. Probably the Chief of Police wasn't the only member of officialdom besides the Mayor who wasn't on the side of Light.
Comments from author:
We know that the police were working for the Mayor, and therefore crooked. There were scenes that suggested that Snyder was taking orders from him as well, though we were left uncertain how much Snyder knew. It is very plausible that Mayor Wilkins also had his squeaky clean and sanitized evil fingers in on child welfare as well.

At least, that makes more sense than everybody really being that clueless for that long.
Review By [Wolflady] • Date [22 Jan 08] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "parts 89 and 90" from APS
Review:
Great story,
keep up the good work.
Comments from author:
Thank you.
Review By [APS] • Date [21 Jan 08] • Rating [8 out of 10]
Review of chapter "parts 89 and 90" from Wormbait
Review:
Go Willow !!!

Thinking about it I don't think I've ever read a fic before that has Willow lay things out for her mother like that, so it's about time :)

Excellent fic, thanks for sharing.
Comments from author:
With the Sheila that I had so far in this story, the confrontation was inevitable. And this Willow wasn't about to just calmly take it - she's been fighting demons, helping rescue a frightened mutant from evil scary agents, and working to uncover a government project under her very own school - the last thing she's about to take is her absentee mother telling her she's irresponsible : )

I hadn't seen anything else where they had a talk like this either. We'll have to see how that works out.

I'm glad that you're enjoying it.
Review By [Wormbait] • Date [21 Jan 08] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "parts 89 and 90" from MarcusRowland
Review:
Wow - I really wish they'd had a scene like the second part on TV. Or some other explanation of Willow's lack of parental presence.
Comments from author:
Glad that you enjoyed.
Review By [MarcusRowland] • Date [21 Jan 08] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "parts 89 and 90" from JoeDineen
Review:
About flipping time some-one gave it to Shelia Rosenberg between the eyes, not sure that Willow that Willow in season four really had the backbone to do it. I reckon that Willow never really came to terms with herself until season 7 really though at that point the shows writing was so uneven as to make character assessment difficult.

Sorry, rambling off the point, you are entitled to give Willow a bit more backbone than in the show a lot more has happened and at much higher stakes that in the show. I was never happy with the way Joss portrayed the initiative, they were not dangerous enough. I think you are doing a better job.
Comments from author:
Joss & Crew wrote Willow as they needed her to carry out whatever plot of the week they wanted. I try to write Willow (and everyone else) as plausibly semi-consistent for a given story. Granted, this Willow isn't the same as the Willow in the Coffee series or the Willow in Family Tree, but the Willow in part 12 should match the Willow in part 39 and the Willow in part 70, with some allowance for her growing/maturing as the story progresses.

As for the stakes, I like to try to make the danger sensible for the situation, not fluctuating by Joss's whim.
Review By [JoeDineen] • Date [21 Jan 08] • Not Rated
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