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Review of chapter "Chapter 9" from (Past Donor)GACTsevil
Review:
Well, for your first multi-chaptered story, you did a great job!
Review By [(Past Donor)GACTsevil] • Date [30 Jun 10] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter 9" from Gideon
Review:
Great finish! I love how you have set it up for a sequel, and at just the right time too. I hope Clark made use of the insight being without memory for a time gave him but I have my doubts. And Dawn has a friend! (Even if what she really wants is a boyfriend). One thing I am confused about though, why is his truck in Sunnydale? Did he carry it the whole way? Because driving it would have been way slower then running???
Comments from author:
No no no my good friend, re-read that last bit. I didn't say it was his truck, I said it was *a* truck. He just found one in the school's parking lot and threw it at Caleb.

and, I guess I kinda did set it up for a sequel, but I don't plan on doing one...I just thought I'd give a peak into the future at the ending, and leave the rest up to the reader's imagination
Review By [Gideon] • Date [21 Jun 10] • Rating [9 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Chapter 9" from RevDorothyL
Review:
Well done! And I get a grin of deep satisfaction on my face at the thought of Clark batting Caleb around like Caleb had done to Buffy and the Potentials (if indeed that's what happened -- which I'd like to think it did)!
Comments from author:
I take it you didn't like Caleb? I'm psychic, I know. thanks for all the support
Review By [RevDorothyL] • Date [21 Jun 10] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter 9" from (Current Donor)DeepBlueJoy
Review:
You know this is a good start for a series, right? Can you imagine Caleb vs Kal'el? Kinda no contest... of course, the First would then want to have Clark for itself... Anyway... nice little story.

Really do wish we'd seen Clark's trip to Sunnydale change his attitude to the secret, secret life... Oddly, the bad people seem to find out his identity anyway, and he's just left keeping secrets and breaking trust with those he loves... it's one of the things that makes me stop watching Smallville every time I start again.

Peace, thanks,

Blue
Comments from author:
maybe next time
Review By [(Current Donor)DeepBlueJoy] • Date [21 Jun 10] • Rating [9 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Chapter 9" from MarcusSLazarus
Review:
Simple ending, and I wouldn't say no to seeing more of this series- how Clark and Dawn react to developments in each other's lives, that kind of thing-, but you can't deny it's effective (Particularly Clark just 'dropping in' to deal with Caleb like that; anything featuring the 'Big Bad' getting taken down that quickly is always amusing in my book).

Keep up the good work!
Comments from author:
thank you, kindly
Review By [MarcusSLazarus] • Date [21 Jun 10] • Rating [9 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Chapter 8" from (Current Donor)RngrThorne
Review:
I've had a few talks like that. Never fun. Of course, the way things work in Sunnydale (and fiction in general) they could end up having a lot more fun than their parents would approve of in a few minutes. *insert wicked grin*
Review By [(Current Donor)RngrThorne] • Date [14 May 10] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter 8" from (Past Donor)GACTsevil
Review:
That is a great way to end the chapter, bravo!
I really like this story, great job with all of the characterizations.
They should kiss to break the tension of the kissage.
Review By [(Past Donor)GACTsevil] • Date [4 May 10] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter 8" from RevDorothyL
Review:
Dawn wins the prize for 'weirdest origin story' -- yay!

Seriously: nice work on bringing Clark and Dawn to a place of mutual understanding (except for the kiss thing!) by the end of this chapter.
Review By [RevDorothyL] • Date [3 May 10] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "CHapter 7" from Gideon
Review:
Hopefully Clark will take on board that Friends=good. And I think he and Dawn could be good for each other.
Review By [Gideon] • Date [16 Apr 10] • Rating [8 out of 10]
Review of chapter "CHapter 7" from (Current Donor)DeepBlueJoy
Review:
Gotta say... really love how you rocked Clark's world and used Giles to do it. If Giles of all people, who is the most conservative of the group could have that effect in a few careless moments of conversation, can you imagine, the effect, say of someone like Dawn? Yeah, kinda noticed the 'attraction' they had going [smile] -- In a way she's more alien than Clark is. At least he's something approximating 'human'. Hope her green energy isn't from Kryptonite. ;-)

And I can't say how much I'd love to see Chloe interact with Willow and Xander. they could have a meeting of 'sidekicks anonymous' Of course, this is before she knew Clark's secret, so somehow, she's gotta find out, and sooner rather than later. I always thought the utter secrecy was a weakness of Smallville, rather than a strength. but Buffy spoiled me.

Can't wait to see what you do next!

blue

PS: really have to say: really like Dawn better for Clark than Lana Lang. She really creeps me out, especially as time went on... brrr.
Review By [(Current Donor)DeepBlueJoy] • Date [13 Apr 10] • Rating [9 out of 10]
Review of chapter "CHapter 7" from RevDorothyL
Review:
Love what you've done with Clark possibly profiting from Buffy's example, with secrecy not always being the best thing for someone whose abilities may be dramatically different from the norm.
Review By [RevDorothyL] • Date [13 Apr 10] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter 6" from cwolf
Review:
And that should cause a chapter 7 where he almost stumbles when hearing her whisper
Review By [cwolf] • Date [6 Apr 10] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter 6" from Gideon
Review:
So sad that Clark falls back on bad habits and lies to Chloe. Now she will have to keep looking for vampires to prove it to him!
Review By [Gideon] • Date [6 Apr 10] • Rating [8 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Chapter 6" from RevDorothyL
Review:
Intriguing, as always! I hope Clark has a chance for some closure with Dawn, at least, before he and Chloe go back to Smallville.
Review By [RevDorothyL] • Date [5 Apr 10] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter One" from (Current Donor)DeepBlueJoy
Review:
Interesting story. Have to say I was disappointed that Clark lied to Chloe about vampires - despite overwhelming evidence and the fact she didn't 'forget'. I really do think that the secrets he keeps are very poisonous. It's the reason that, although I like the characters and the actors on Smallville, I don't follow the show as closely as I might. It seems dumb after a while, especially after 7 seasons of Buffy and the scoobies -- She would have been long gone without them knowing her secrets. I was hoping that coming to Sunnydale and finding out the _other_ secret truth out there would give Clark an opportunity to share the truth with friends, both old and new.

Peace.

EDIT: You have a small error, also... If Clark was seeing through people's bodies, as you mentioned, (with his X-ray vision) he would have seen Spike's chip -- not sure what's to be done about that, maybe have him 'notice' it now they're not in the middle of a crisis?
Review By [(Current Donor)DeepBlueJoy] • Date [5 Apr 10] • Rating [9 out of 10]
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