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Debts Owed

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Review of chapter "Chapter One" from (Current Donor)deiticlast
Review:
Okay, so I started off reading this story thinking, "Oh, great! Someone who actually did a fanfic on one of my favorite series!" And then I started reading. I am not writing this review with a malicious intent - however, I do believe that my distaste for this particular work will be conceived that way. Anyways. . .

First, there was the grammar, or the lack thereof. If, in your head, you hear a pause in the inner narration of a story or any literary work, there should be a comma. If there is a stopping point that precedes further data or comments of the previous text, then there should be a semi-colon. If there is a stopping point and then, after the brief pause that fits between separate yet entwined thoughts, then there should be a period. I think you know where I'm going with this. . .

And then there was the slash. . . I have nothing against slash, believe me. I've read some that have gotten me more than a little hot and bothered than I'd like to admit in public. But this. . . It just wasn't believable. There was no reasoning for Richard to suddenly turn gay and accept the prince's (though there had been no mention in the series about homosexual tendencies as far as I could remember) sexual advances. If there is to a sudden shift in sexual identity, there damn well had to have been some life-altering shit going down before all of this. Do you know what I mean?

I apologize if I have offended you, but please know that I have gone to the trouble of explaining these things to you for a reason, and not just to be an ass (though the abruptness of it could be explained away as a lack of sleep. . .).
Review By [(Current Donor)deiticlast] • Date [30 Apr 11] • Rating [1 out of 10]
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