Large PrintHandheldAudioRating
Twisting The Hellmouth Crossing Over Awards - Results
Rules for Challenges

As if the Hellmouth wasn't enough...

StoryReviewsStatisticsRelated StoriesTracking
Review of chapter "six" from Rune
I read the revised story first and you said you had over powered Xander. I fail to see how you did that but thanks for keeping both versions up. This one is good too, maybe you could complete both? Also this one seems to be different, there is no danger mentioned of the virus taking over the world. That seems to be a good change to me.
Review By [Rune] • Date [20 Oct 10] • Rating [8 out of 10]
Review of chapter "six" from Robby
Awesome story!!! Got me hooked right off the bat! Hey, what do you think about baseing Xander's armor off of something like the armors form Mass Effert? Add the organic look and I think it would look cool!! Looking forward to the next chapter, keep up the great work!!!!!
Review By [Robby] • Date [27 Aug 10] • Rating [10 out of 10]
Review of chapter "six" from Raider
send a hydralisk kinsey's way.

that senator in my opinion, is an example of humanity at it's worst.
Review By [Raider] • Date [4 Jul 10] • Rating [10 out of 10]
Review of chapter "six" from sunamee
I look forward to seeing what Xander will do to Angel.
Review By [sunamee] • Date [27 Jun 10] • Rating [10 out of 10]
Review of chapter "six" from Vianca
Warhammer 40K, the Tyranid race of this game could inspire Xander with some of the creatures.
Same goes for the main bad guy race in the "Star Wars-New Jedi Order" books, the Yuuzhan Vong use biotech as well.

Now Xander might not have the templates, but he could use this as inspiration for some creatures of his (hopefully her) design.
Would that game feature in which a creature of his new race can recover from almost dieing, have any funny side effects?
Hope so. :D

While food resources could be Xander's future problem, he might be able to grow somekinda feeding creature that handel that problem in a tree like way.
Now, when will you give Xander some wings?
Yes, when will Xander start growing a small shuttle?
Review By [Vianca] • Date [26 Jun 10] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "six" from TJG
Others have commented on the plot and whether 2 slayers should have much difficulty with a bunch of newbie vampires, so I will just comment on Xander's biotechnology.

If he needs a way to feed his stuff, he could absorb the biological information from things like green plants, fungi, and lichen for either self-sufficient devices or for creatures that make food for others.

He should work on a way to make creatures that can work with him even in human form. As an example, making a biological power armor that an ordinary human can use, with just enough intelligence to protect itself against others and loyalty like a pet or guard dog. Among the abilities to get would be the camouflage abilities of the chameleon or octopus to allow for stealth work.

One part that he might want to take from some games and science fiction ideas is that idea of using biotechnology to manufacture materials rather than using the bioengineered creatures directly. As an example: a creature that produces and weaves spider silk in large amounts in any form or color desired. Several creatures working together (with the abilities of the spider/silkworm, certain arthropods [for the chitin], hemp [for the lignin fibers], sheep [for the ability of the fibers to wick away sweat]) could produce lightweight bullet resistant plates/fiber composite armor of varying concealability/armor level that can either be worn as underclothing or as outer clothing like jackets and jeans.

Some other products he could sell are medicinal products derives from living herbs/plants/creatures by simply getting the pertinent biological information from the plant/creature and setting it up in a designed creature to produce it in a pill or other common-easy-to-use form. More complicated forms could be to make things that make hydrocarbon fuels or maybe drinks like wine (though he might have to disguise the facility as an experimental hydroponic facility to explain why he does not use large fields of plants or something and maybe he could quietly or overtly get ownership of the local sewage treatment plant(s) for the raw material/food source for his biotechnology).
Review By [TJG] • Date [26 Jun 10] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "six" from Bobboky
Review By [Bobboky] • Date [26 Jun 10] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "six" from Prometeus
> And there's Season 7, where Spike keeps wearing his trophy of killing a Slayer even before her son. Remorse for his time as a soulless vampire?

What, because Slayers are saints now and it's some kind of a mortal sin for a vampire to kill one? Like fuck. Slayers are to vampires exactly as vampires are to humans - predators and mortal enemies. Spike took one down, why the fuck should he feel remorse about it? Why the fuck should he care what Robin says or thinks? Your opinions about Spike and Angel are really, really bizarre. You have no appreciation for how bizarre and screwed up they are. It's obvious you're taking a black & white, good vs evil, view to them; something you really should have outgrown by age 15.

Spike is trivial to understand so long as you assume he's a normal human, that all humans are mere animals of no moral consequence whatsoever, and that he's into bestiality since he fell in love with a human AND an emo goth-punk for falling in love with the killer of his kind. Or even more easily, if you assume a moral framework where death has no meaning. Which shouldn't be so difficult for you since the "good guys" all do that anyways. The whole show is premised on death being an ordinary unremarkable thing.

It's actually Angel that's "difficult" to understand since he dumped Buffy and tortured her with that utterly nonsensical but oh so destructive "advice" of his. Yet he too is easy to understand if you assume he's a psychopath who cares only for himself, his favourite hobby is torturing people, and he broods because he doesn't get to do it as often as he wants to. When the soul comes off, he becomes happy since he gets to do what he wants.


That said, the plot is pretty logical. Dru freaking out makes perfect sense, as does her dragging Spike out. Spike only came to the hellmouth to cure her. Her leaving her 'daddy' behind is sketchy but I can see it happening. Angelus getting resouled ... well I'm holding out for "it won't make much difference..." :D
Review By [Prometeus] • Date [26 Jun 10] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "six" from Marcel
I hope you don't get too crossover-happy (it's very hard to do justice to too many characters), but so far I like what I've read, and I *love* the idea of scourges vs Hive ship :) Since you started with a crossover I haven't seen yet, this has all the markings of a great story, so I'll take a leap of faith and recommend it :P
Comments from author:
multicross = Buffy + Starcraft + Stargate. Noting else is planned, except maybe Zeratul or Raynor Xander pulled into the reality during S3, but it will be just for flavour, with no real part in the story
Review By [Marcel] • Date [26 Jun 10] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "six" from Gideon
Pretty good chapter, if a bit short. Don't be afraid to spend a bit more time on some of the scenes to make sure all the links are covered. eg, Kendra is fed crucimentum drugs one minute but then patrolling with Buffy the next. There is plenty of time to get to the cool space battles you have imagined.
Otherwise I like what you are doing, Angelus was always smart enough to know when to run away :) I hope Buffy doesn't find Xander beating up on Angel, she would probably try to defend her boyfriend. Although if Xander can reveal himself after a couple of helpful meetings (he has managed two so far) he will be mirroring Angel's introduction almost exactly. That could appeal to Buffy's romantic angsty side, poor Xander is not human anymore but he is still trying to help out.
As for growing more zerg resources, it seems like he really needs to do this, maybe have a couple of spare armor suits handy, if he can find somewhere to grow them. Maybe photosynthesis in the Sunnydale desert, or the Sahara :) Then he could send a small probe to the moon, or mars maybe to start building up the space fleet he will need later. Maybe with advice from Elegria, who will want to rejoin the Tokra. I hope some of these ideas are useful to you:)
Review By [Gideon] • Date [26 Jun 10] • Rating [7 out of 10]
Review of chapter "six" from Morgomir
Great chapter. Keep up the good work.
Review By [Morgomir] • Date [26 Jun 10] • Rating [10 out of 10]
Review of chapter "six" from Vilkath
not the best of chapters, frankly the 'good guys' look like total crap in this fic. Angelus goes out and recruits dozens of utterly fearless vampires, fledglings who can stand up to slayers. Twelve or so vampires never really pushed Buffy before, esepcialy fledglings yet here they are handing them their ass's. Then Angelus points out a vampire with a gun and Kendra is shot without even attempting to dodge or move?

Angelus keeps masterminding attacks.. and running away without anyone so much as stopping him? There is a limit to 'get out of jail free cards', especialy with how he loves top persoanly engage people in combat. Frankly for two slayers and an 'enchanced' Xander the 'good guys' came off as down right encompetent and pathetic in this chapter, losing horribly to fledgling vampires and never stopping Angelus from raising them. And I really hope this isn't a 'Angel gets his soul back and everything is fine' type of fic, because he frankly just killed a few dozen people or more to raise these fledglings, that is way to many people to ever simply 'forgive and forget'. Especialy on a guy who never really did that much good in his unlife, even with a soul before he left Sunnydale and has a hair trigger at losing his soul again. NO sane person would let such a risk walk free.

Over all this chapter read like your standard AU fic that wants to stick to canon, and keep a character alive no matter what. NOTHING is being acomplished despite all the changes being made. Spike and Drusilla get away, Angelus gets a way, his plans are not really stopped and over all the good guys acomplish absolutely nothing. If a few fledglings can take down a slayer so easily, how the heck is One girl in the world VS thousands of vampires at all fair or in ballance? A normal slayer has no back up, and here Buffy has Kendra and Xander and is still losing badly?
Review By [Vilkath] • Date [26 Jun 10] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "six" from eriktheviking
Great update, with a well written build-up to further in-group confrontations.
Review By [eriktheviking] • Date [26 Jun 10] • Rating [8 out of 10]
Review of chapter "six" from Dusel
From the last chapter I failed to comment on the Slayer nullifying drugs and why you didn't show how the gang freaked out because of it. Because that is freak inducing.

On this one, I call LAME on the Bleach comment. No need to explain.

Happy that Kendra survived the ordeal and do be careful with the Xander vs. Angel thing. You're going into extreme OoC'ness here, you're trying to make Xander more initiative, which is good. But you must not forget that he is also caring towards his friends and I find it unlikely that he would jump Angel the first moment he got for 'revenge'. Not that I'm implying that Xander and Angel are friends, it's more about his friendship with Buffy.

On that note with him revealing his 'true' face you might work your way to the revelation finally, there's no hiding it now, if Buffy paid even a little attention then she should be able to recognize him, he has a fairly unique face.

You also need to think hard on how to make the Crossover from Sunnydale to the Stargate Galaxy, preferably WITHOUT SG-1. The problem here is that Buffy/SG crossovers SUCK, not only because of poor writing from many authors but the universes are soo hard to combine that most of the time it doesn't make sense. Willow hacking the SGC, Buffy and/or Faith being the next best thing since sliced bread at the SGC, the SGC having a direct line to the President(a friggin Red Phone) and yet when the Initiative and Demons come to topic they are told to back down, heck there was even one fic where Faith and a group of off-world Slayers fought off Adria who could kill them with a stray thought, and lets not get started on SG:A fics, though there was a good one where Faith got stuck in the Pegasus Galaxy. So my point is that you've picked one of the worst crossovers on TTH Buffy/SG...

Good luck.
Review By [Dusel] • Date [26 Jun 10] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "5" from Chrestomanci
Anya would make a good girlfriend for him in this story.
Review By [Chrestomanci] • Date [21 Jun 10] • Not Rated
Page: 1 of 8 next end
StoryReviewsStatisticsRelated StoriesTracking