Dean made a strangling sound and Sam rolled his eyes.--------- hahah
“You lost my car Sammy.”--------- haha yeah, time for a drink, I would think so!!!
“Sam?”
“Yeah?”
“Willow can’t talk right now. She’s rambling. Do you know why she called you a thoughtless frog-loving idiot?”
“I left the car unlocked.”
“Again?”
“Yeah, don’t tell Dean.”
“We’ll call you later. Now say thank you Buffy.”
“Thank you Buffy.” ------------------------------ I think you need to make it more clear who says ‘Sam’ right there b/c I got so confused and kept re-reading until I made it towards the end where it says ‘buffy’
----------- “Sammy how bad is it?”
“Dean, open your eyes.”
“I can’t. Just tell me how bad it is.”
“Dean, I’m sorry.”
“Does it help that I’m naked?”
Dean opened his right eye very slightly. “Liar.”
Willow smiled worriedly. “Should I be here? Do you need brother time?”
--------- Again, with the confusing… Did Willow say that she was naked? I assume so…
WOWO WOW! You killed the Impala. That’s evil, dude. Real evil.
Ummmmm… I loved all the previous chapters but this had none of the previous banter or flirting that I loved… Plus, I got annoyed with trying to figure out who was talking. It felt like you rushed this. :(
Being that, you should know I love this story and premise; I just dislike this chapter.
Comments from author:
Thanks for all your comments (: I'll see about making the dialog clearer.
Review By [Luna] • Date [7 Jul 10] • Rating [4 out of 10]
“I don’t know. He just seems like your type. All rugged and do-goodery. Heavy on the protective nature. Kind of depressed a lot.”--- HAHAHAHAH So true!
Gabe approached with his pink camera, every new watcher’s graduation gift,-- Really???? Hahaha
What happened to his car??
So cute!
Comments from author:
In my imagination, watchers don't do watcher diaries so much anymore, they make something more along the lines of a scrapbook, hence the camera. And I figured the scoobies would get a kick out of giving out embarrassing looking ones, hence it being pink. :)
Luna
