Review of chapter "Chapter One" from buffyangelharryjack
you know i don't get why you're not happy with this, its good really good love how you made ianto come back. the part where you said ianto wanted to come back got me thinking about when buffy got resurrected by willow she was all miserable and walking zombie and wanted to go back to heaven whereas ianto wanted to leave heaven to be with jack so he was fine interesting comparison their :) good job
Comments from author:
Awww~~~ Thanks! I think what it is it that I look at it and know it could have been better. When I say I might re-write it, I mean what I might do at some point is flesh it out, add details and stuff that I ended up not putting in. The fact that you're one of only two people to even review the story kind of says a lot...
Review By [buffyangelharryjack
] • Date [27 Jul 10] • Rating [10 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Chapter One" from VillageOrchid
Strange and interesting. Does that mean that Jack is lying about going back to 1869 that he had lived for trillions of years in two other universes? Sanity is of course an issue here, as is memory. Some nice ideas here, but not enough of a narrative and pov experience for me to get invested.
RESPONSE: Thanks for the timeline. It sounds interesting. Maybe a little more of the flashback to a scene with Jack celebrating his "birth" as far away from anything that could effect his timeline as possible and his early days in Sunnydale, rather than at the end. Believe me it is brave to post anything; especially when you have a lot of ideas and you want feedback.
Comments from author:
Truthfully I'm not happy with this, perhaps you would have liked either of my rough drafts more. Some of it was good, but I wasn't satisfied with it enough to type it. This was an improvement. Perhaps I'll rewrite this again later. Right now I'm trying to get story ideas out of my head so I can work some more on my existing stories. I wrote two non crossovers today too, they turned out much better than this.
Jack ended up in 1869, canon story line happened, except when he hit the 51st century, on the day of his birth, he ended up back in the Sunnydale Universe. He then lived through that universe, where he met Buffy and Dawn, lived through a couple more universe and therefore lived for several trillion years, and then through his own universe (again).
Review By [VillageOrchid
] • Date [19 Jun 10] • Not Rated