This also applies for the other two parts of your story - you're using too many crosses, I've seen several super-multi crosses and nothing good came from them, in the end you had over a hundred or at least several dozen characters and you just couldn't fit them into one story. I also think you're relying too much on snark for your stories, while it can make a chapter if placed at the right place if you continuously use it then it the chapters loose quality, quality which you presented in the first part of your GL series. The first part was seriously awesome...beside the Stargate thing. Another thing is how...what's the word...obsessive Xander is becoming with taking things in his own hands, the way he's going soon he'll have Earth like Sinistro had Korugar, heh unlikely in your story but he began from SOMEWHERE. Anyway I'll be looking forward to then next part of your series.
Keep in mind that I said were mostly minor things that smooth out the story rather then some big Errors or anything like that - perfect grammar by the way.
Review By [Dusel] • Date [5 Sep 10] • Rating [8 out of 10]
By the amount of crossovers I saw at the end I have to say.,..you're thinking big. Just hope you're up for it. Didn't I make a review on this one? Or was it on ff.net...anyway I was thinking that Xander was developing a...superiority complex as in he's always right and the rest MUST listen and do what he says no matter how impossible it is for them to do it do to laws and such. It's a nice trait to want to do the Right, Smart thing...but he's starting to cross a line. This should be interesting, especially if this is all planned.
EXCELLENT! Nice touch slipping Gant in from one of Clint Eastwood's more intellectual action movie, Firefox. (That one was an old favorite of mine, one of the last few films my dad and I got to watch at an actual Drive-In before they all closed down.) I always look forward to your Emerald Series of fics, these are cool.
Review By [BrinLondofive] • Date [12 Jul 10] • Rating [10 out of 10]
To be honest I was kinda expecting Egeria to stay inside Xander until he passed away or something traumatic enough caused them to be separated. These appetizers have been fun, but I can't wait until the main course.
Review By [Cdog] • Date [11 Jul 10] • Rating [10 out of 10]
To be honest I was kinda expecting Egeria to stay inside Xander until he passed away or something traumatic enough caused them to be separated. These appetizers have been fun, but I can't wait until the main course.
Review By [Cdog] • Date [11 Jul 10] • Rating [10 out of 10]
I always found the Romany 'vengence' a bit funny. They take seroiusly twisted pleasure in causing others pain, with no care to innocent bystanders like in the case with Giles opening the door for Jenny. How can a clan that takes offense to nearly every slight and lashes out with deadly or worse retirbution even have surrivived? They would have made SO many enemies on all sides of good and evil they should never have survived to modern day.
Add to that nearly no one ever punishes them for their actions, very few fics have Xander or what ever really strike back at the bastards. Even this one has him back off because some stupid request of mercy from Janna. What kind of leaders go out of their way to doom their own clan by making new enemies? I can understand loving her 'family' but in the very least Jenny should worked to having a less incomptent person in charge. The clan elder's in charge durring the show always struck me as patheticly worhtless, bad as the Watchers council in their own way. I mean seriously who puts a huge loop hole into Angelus's curse like that and then doesn't warn anyone about it?
Review By [Vilkath] • Date [11 Jul 10] • Not Rated