Large PrintHandheldAudioRating
using
 paypal
Twisting The Hellmouth Crossing Over Awards - Results
Is your email address still valid?

Checkmate: Part 3

StoryReviewsStatisticsRelated StoriesTracking
Review of chapter "Chapter 66: Epilogue" from Glumski
Review:
So, well, a review. I'll just do it for all three parts in one go because this definitely is one story and not a series.
First of all, I really liked the choice of POV. Having multiple 1p characters definitely isn't something I see often but you made it work quite well.
I also loved the first chapters. That whole murder charge and prison thing perfectly intruced Alexis as a character and set a very nice background to the rest of the story. I'd have loved to see more of that crossover part (like you did in chapter 65) but I guess most approaches to that would've been very cliché.
As I said before I liked the introduction as well as Alexis' overall character. I'm not sure how true to the show it is as I haven't watched many episodes of Castle but I liked her nonetheless, like Michelle. Your characterization of Dawn was also very well done I think, thouhh the other BtVS characters appeared to be kind of flat.
The plot, well, it was kind of incoherent. It seemed like it was very much about sex, not only as content but as intention. While that isn't a bad thing just by itself it did irritate me a little. Or maybe I'm just too conservative in that regard. The Iran thing in the end was nice (though politically incorrect but what isn't?), as well as that SAS scene. I'd have loved to see Alexis act with her peers (e.g. at school) a little more but I guess that might not have fitted to the rest of the story.
What really, really annoyed me was 'thru'. It's 'through'. I know abbreviations are a nifty thing and everything but... just no. There were a few your/you're errors etc. but that happens to everyone.
Apart from that... well, it was kind of flat. Alexis getting superpowers, finding her perfect partner who also gets superpowers, moving in with another perfect partner who gets together with her perfect partner and, well, no big drama of any kind, no real tension. It's the same problem I have everytime I try to write a decent crossover so I might not exactly have the right to complain about it but it's still a valid point. Apart from that grumpy police officer in the beginning the bad guys consisted of evil gang members of doom, evil 9/11 wannabe terrorists and evil religious gomernment fanatic guys who use demons and atomic bombs. That's kind of easy. Well, ok, I loved those evil gang members of doom, not exactly objective there, sorry.
And that "Hey, rich and well-educated Dad, I'm moving in with my girlfriend of three days, my kind of dubious mentor, her sister, her girlfriend and some pilot I met a few days ago to have lots and lots of lesbo group sex"-thing... umm... that was maybe just a teeny tiny bit too strong.
To come to a conclusion... Thanks for posting this; it was definitely an entertaining read. There's plenty room for improvement but also a lot of potential.
Review By [Glumski] • Date [25 Sep 14] • Rating [6 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Chapter 66: Epilogue" from Glumski
Review:
So, well, a review. I'll just do it for all three parts in one go because this definitely is one story and not a series.
First of all, I really liked the choice of POV. Having multiple 1p characters definitely isn't something I see often but you made it work quite well.
I also loved the first chapters. That whole murder charge and prison thing perfectly intruced Alexis as a character and set a very nice background to the rest of the story. I'd have loved to see more of that crossover part (like you did in chapter 65) but I guess most approaches to that would've been very cliché.
As I said before I liked the introduction as well as Alexis' overall character. I'm not sure how true to the show it is as I haven't watched many episodes of Castle but I liked her nonetheless, like Michelle. Your characterization of Dawn was also very well done I think, thouhh the other BtVS characters appeared to be kind of flat.
The plot, well, it was kind of incoherent. It seemed like it was very much about sex, not only as content but as intention. While that isn't a bad thing just by itself it did irritate me a little. Or maybe I'm just too conservative in that regard. The Iran thing in the end was nice (though politically incorrect but what isn't?), as well as that SAS scene. I'd have loved to see Alexis act with her peers (e.g. at school) a little more but I guess that might not have fitted to the rest of the story.
What really, really annoyed me was 'thru'. It's 'through'. I know abbreviations are a nifty thing and everything but... just no. There were a few your/you're errors etc. but that happens to everyone.
Apart from that... well, it was kind of flat. Alexis getting superpowers, finding her perfect partner who also gets superpowers, moving in with another perfect partner who gets together with her perfect partner and, well, no big drama of any kind, no real tension. It's the same problem I have everytime I try to write a decent crossover so I might not exactly have the right to complain about it but it's still a valid point. Apart from that grumpy police officer in the beginning the bad guys consisted of evil gang members of doom, evil 9/11 wannabe terrorists and evil religious gomernment fanatic guys who use demons and atomic bombs. That's kind of easy. Well, ok, I loved those evil gang members of doom, not exactly objective there, sorry.
And that "Hey, rich and well-educated Dad, I'm moving in with my girlfriend of three days, my kind of dubious mentor, her sister, her girlfriend and some pilot I met a few days ago to have lots and lots of lesbo group sex"-thing... umm... that was maybe just a teeny tiny bit too strong.
To come to a conclusion... Thanks for posting this; it was definitely an entertaining read. There's plenty room for improvement but also a lot of potential.
Review By [Glumski] • Date [25 Sep 14] • Rating [6 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Chapter 54: Flying Fast" from DieselDriver
Review:
That was a reallio trulio excellent chapter. I've seen refueling from the upper end of the boom but never from the lower end. Radio techs in the Air Farce, er, Force, don't get to ride in fighters very often. But we do sometimes have to fly in tankers. When I was in, The KC-135 was the general, long range utility plane as well as carrying about 85,000 lbs of fuel they could offload, when they needed to refuel other planes. I have to tell you that a KC-135 taking off on an 11,500 foot runway with a total of 165,000 pounds of fuel on board is a butt clenching experience. The plane doesn't have enough speed to take off till about 9,500 feet down the runway. You damn well hope nothing goes wrong after about the 6500 feet mark. That was with the old original engines. We launched upwards of 120 planes a day from Kadena AB, Okinawa in 1972, each with that much fuel on board. Never lost one, never aborted after the takeoff roll had begun. It was a busy time. They have new engines now, more fuel efficient and more power to things aren't as hairy now and they also have the newer KC-10 which is a DC-10 modified to be a refueler. You may have seen the DC-10 that is converted to firefighting duty. They carry a HUGE load of phoscheck. I would love to ride in an F-15. The Streak Eagle was a special stripped down F-15 used to set time to clime records. If I remember right, 0 feet, stopped on the runway to 103,000 feet in just a shade over 2 minutes.

The F-15 is also the only fighter in the world that has destroyed a satellite via a rocket launch from the airplane.

Airplanes are the next best thing to magic that we have in this world!
Comments from author:
It sounds like you're interested in planes, you might try Stingers next.
Review By [DieselDriver] • Date [13 Aug 13] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter 66: Epilogue" from JinaSolo
Review:
In this last bit, what about Xander and Faith?
Review By [JinaSolo] • Date [21 Jul 13] • Rating [10 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Chapter 66: Epilogue" from DragonBard
Review:
You only mentioned the girls at the end, with no mention of Faith and Xander, even though they're supposed to be part of the group.
Review By [DragonBard] • Date [22 Apr 13] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter 66: Epilogue" from Oxnate
Review:
Excellent story. I read it all in one sitting, and the one thing that jumped out at me was *The Speech*. I don't know how many times it was given... but it was a lot. On this site, as it's Buffy-centric, you really only need to give it once, if at all. Got to be *very* repetitive.

Other than that, the love scenes were all great and the fight scenes were even better.
Review By [Oxnate] • Date [19 Oct 12] • Rating [10 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Chapter 66: Epilogue" from mooncowthree
Review:
Wow. This was an amazing story. Incredible plot and superb writing.
For some reason "Flechettes!" just cracked me up. You are a very talented writer and I would love to see more stories in this universe, a firefly cross would be PERFECT. Of course Mal would have to be a long lost direct descendant of castle and Beckett (or Alex and Xander) that some how was lost and presumed dead during the evac of earth (obviously not Mal, but his father or grandfather. I'm thinking it would have to be a male line so they aren't immortal slayers, but anyway, just spit balling there, please write this, it would be so cool. Also some vignettes fleshing out the epilogue would be great, i really want to see miss "i look like a high school grad" four star general. Comedy gold right there.

On a different note, i am curious how you decided to cross Buffy with castle, the way the plot played out it could have been Buffy x anything with very few changes.
Comments from author:
When I decide to do a cross over story it's because I've found something interesting in the characters in the other universe, but once I start writing the story goes where it decides to go. For instance in my "Wasp" series I was planning on doing a crossover with Turtledove's World War/Colonization series but once the story got started it just went its own way and the crossover never occurred. In general I don't come up with the overall plot until I've gotten into the story a couple of chapters and the characters decide where it is going to go. When I started the Checkmate series my vague intention was to do a story that involved Beckett and the police investigating a series of murders that involved some sort of supernatural that brought Buffy and the new slayer Alex into conflict with them, thus the whole beginning in the park, etc. But once I got started and especially when Michelle came on the scene the story went a completely different direction.
Review By [mooncowthree] • Date [8 Aug 12] • Rating [10 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Chapter 66: Epilogue" from lunalurker
Review:
Just finished rereading this wonderful series again, and loved it just as much as the first time. Perhaps might there be a part 4 someday, the adventures of the immortal Witch-Slayers in space? And would that be a Firefly crossover or some other direction? Because that would be awesome. :)
Thank you again for writing, you're very talented and I love all your stories!
Review By [lunalurker] • Date [24 Jul 12] • Rating [9 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Chapter 66: Epilogue" from maxthehobbit
Review:
I just reread this whole series and I'm sure I liked it even better the second time. I'm kind of a prude and the sexual stuff rattled me a bit, but it was a big part of the story ... without it the story would have had to be much different. Maybe you haven't got as many reviews as you should because of the sexual parts, but I still rate it as one of the top three stories I have ever read, Buffy related.
Thanks for sharing your great writing.
Review By [maxthehobbit] • Date [21 Jan 12] • Rating [10 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Chapter 66: Epilogue" from BrownFinderth
Review:
Wonderful! Thanks to the author!!! I enjoyed all three parts of Checkmate.
Review By [BrownFinderth] • Date [2 Dec 11] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter 66: Epilogue" from garrycooper
Review:
Astounding, I loved it!!! I really cracked up laughing about the flaming flying turkey incident. Thank you. Keep up the great work.
Review By [garrycooper] • Date [15 Nov 11] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter 66: Epilogue" from Drake
Review:
Well, I finally finished this story. One hell of a ride. I'd have loved if you had explored the Slayer/Witch bond a bit more - not the sexual aspect, but what it means power wise; if it can be repeated for others. It just seems odd that they gain so much extra power, and don't question it.

I'm not sure I like Buffy becoming a military officer - the Slayers should be more independent and (mostly) neutral in human conflicts and I can't wonder if she didn't make her job a lot harder in most of the world by aligning herself so closely with the US. Perhaps honorary ranks would have been more appropriate and would allow other nations to offer the same - giving the Slayers more authority everywhere, reassuring other nations that the US doesn't control the Slayers, and keeping Slayers from opposing the WSW because they (or their country) disagree with US policies.

The MOH is deserved, but I can't help but think the way it was presented was too showy - too far against regulations and traditions. http://www.tthfanfic.org/Series-1538 has a lot about the normal way the MOH is presented and I can't help but think that the showmanship POTUS showed in this story cheapened the award. But that may just be because I just enjoyed that story and it placed such a great value on the medal. It also feels odd that she got the MOH instead of the Victory Cross as she was SAS.

I've greatly enjoyed the story. Believable and enjoyable characters, realistic strength and weaknesses, and a good pace. Thanks for sharing.
Review By [Drake] • Date [15 Nov 11] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter 66: Epilogue" from Gideon
Review:
A great story in a great series. You managed to add in a lot of detail in places which helped to make a more realistic background for the series, but you managed to make it interesting enough not to distract from the story. I like that you spent time on the relationships and showed that they were not easy for those involved but we didn't have to read about endless repetition of the same angst and unneeded drama. Real life relationships are much harder but these were much more fun to read about. I guess we don't have the telepathy and other stuff to help us out in real life :(
I'll look forward to reading your other stories and I hope they are just as good and well researched as this one.
Review By [Gideon] • Date [13 Nov 11] • Rating [9 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Chapter 66: Epilogue" from skychan
Review:
I loved this story, it was a blast, and I really enjoyed your attention to detail from one place to another. Now I'm going to have to go see about finding more of your stories.
Review By [skychan] • Date [11 Oct 11] • Rating [9 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Chapter 66: Epilogue" from SaiyaSith
Review:
Great job with the story, Tan. Great OC stuff, great characterizations. Good implementation of plot and lemon! Overall gets a WONDERFUL STORY from me.
Review By [SaiyaSith] • Date [2 Oct 11] • Rating [10 out of 10]
Page: 1 of 2 next end
StoryReviewsStatisticsRelated StoriesTracking