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Not so Heartless Anymore

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Review of chapter "Chapter Four: Harry's awakening" from micedden
Review:
good story but sad it has not been updated in so long
Review By [micedden] • Date [31 May 13] • Rating [9 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Chapter One: Broken Hearts" from WolfWriter
Review:
This is a pretty cool fic. When's the next update?
Review By [WolfWriter] • Date [15 May 11] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter Four: Harry's awakening" from Doodle
Review:
Um... what's the timeline for this story?
Review By [Doodle] • Date [1 Sep 10] • Rating [10 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Chapter Three: Awww, no way." from DarkFaerieYumi
Review:
Cool beans
Comments from author:
Don't you mean bananas?
Review By [DarkFaerieYumi] • Date [26 Aug 10] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter Three: Awww, no way." from zafaran
Review:
Well, considering the ears, we've got Xander as an Elfling? That should be interesting about the time someone in power tumbles to the fact since Arwen was the last known elfling born in Middle Earth, it was the reason she was called the Evenstar if I remember correctly. So since Xander considers the other three brothers, are they brothers of the heart forming a family of choice, or are they four elflings of about the same age? More, more, more, please. I hope your muse and schedule will allow you to write and post more chapters sometime soon. Keep up the good work. Zafaran zafaran@fastmail.fm
Comments from author:
The boys will be of different ages, from youngest to oldest: Naruto, Harry, Duo and Xander.

The two older children will look out for the smaller two, and help keep the family together and alive in a country devastated by war.

There will also be a language barrier to overcome, poor things. Duo does speak Japanese and English, but he's from a time and place several hundred years in front of the other three, so his speech will appear somewhat distorted. Naruto speaks only Japanese, but can read some Romanji characters. Xander and Harry have it lucky, the bastards. They'll be able to understand each other.

When the elves eventually show up, they'll be communication problems there too. But what's life without a little bit of Murphy?

Thanks for reviewing,
Chanialow
Review By [zafaran] • Date [23 Aug 10] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter Three: Awww, no way." from Celticchick
Review:
wait if Estë is all about healing why didn't she heal Xander's eye that does not make sense or is even fair he should have his eye back since one he is getting deaged and two there was talk of vessels that implies that they get all new bodies and if they get all new bodies then his eye would be there.
Comments from author:
While Estë is the vala who heals hurts and weariness, I wanted her to heal the emotional sides of the boys.

I also think that the scars and the lost eye tell a tale of survival, and are the marks of a warrior. Xander went through hell and back to get them, and I didn't want to undervalue that by going "OK Xander, I've given you the body of a thirteen year old, shrunk your manly bits, gotten rid of your scars and given you back your eye - have fun explaining why you have such old eyes, and good luck readjusting to depth perception."

Thanks for your review though, and I hop[e that clears everything up!
Review By [Celticchick] • Date [23 Aug 10] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter One: Broken Hearts" from Cordyfan
Review:
The re-write doesn't really make any difference. The Willow addiction element partly makes sense, but the Buffy thing? OOC bashing.
Comments from author:
Point taken. I'll add a warning!
Review By [Cordyfan] • Date [21 Aug 10] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter One: Broken Hearts" from tals
Review:
The idea of having Duo and Xander (and Naruto) go to Middle-earth has definite promise, and it'd be interesting to see them interact with eachother and the people of middle-earth, but the device you use to place them there (their friends and loved ones ripping out their hearts in sudden, and unexplained bouts of insanity) makes it difficult to read.

I've gotta tell you that this story looks very out of character. Buffy and Willow, while they certainly have their flaws, aren't psychopats, and the scoobies, as a general rule actually like eachother. So it is very jarring to see the story start out with the two of them acting utterly insane and murderous. The same could be said about Heero and Relena, (although she always kinda annoyed me). I don't know Naruto well enough to comment.

I guess my point is, that a reader will believe just about anything (even Willow and Buffy killing their Xander-shaped friend) given a good enough explanation. It seems you've been eager to get to the meat of your story, that is Xander, Duo and Naruto in Middle-earth, and have neglected to give us an esplanation for the out of character behaviour. Explanations could include being under the influence of some spell/mind-control; years and years of character evolution, in which Willow became more and more addicted to her magic, losing her scruples and her basic humanity; etc...

Otherwise it might as well be some generic bad guy doing the foul deed, as Willow, Buffy, Heero, etc. have next to nothing in common with the people I remember from the TV shows.

Anyhow, the story looks like it has some potential, and the crossover seems interesting, but the suddenly evil friends (ex-friends) are really pulling me out of the story.

I don't know whether you can use this review or not, it's you story, so you should obviously write it the way you want, I just wanted to tell you how it looked to one reader (me). Sorry for the lenghty review. Have fun writing.

Regards, Tals
Comments from author:
Thanks for your review! I revised the first chapter. there will be flashbacks involved eventually, but for now I really just wanted them in Arda. I hope this gives a little more explanation for the "suddenly evil" friends.

Thanks for reviewing,

Chanialow
Review By [tals] • Date [20 Aug 10] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter Two: The halls of Mandos" from CrystalBlaze
Review:
I understand the urge for the slashy between these heroes. But orientation aside, I really doubt some of the betrayals would happen without outside influence!

But that's my personal interpretation. Good luck with this,
Comments from author:
Grins! There will be no slashy between the boys - more of a brotherfic. Slash warning in place for what will probably amount to no more than two or three paragraphs. I figured it was easier to warn people than to get complaints later on. As to outside influences? possibly. I think that power, or the need for it may have played a major part
Review By [CrystalBlaze] • Date [20 Aug 10] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter One: Broken Hearts" from Gideon
Review:
That is a tough start, everybody dies :(
Comments from author:
Well yes. I do have to get them out of their respective worlds somehow - and I didn't want a soft voice and pretty lights sweeping them away. Plus I'm incredibly morbid - I love my gory bits!
Review By [Gideon] • Date [20 Aug 10] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter One: Broken Hearts" from silvergaurd
Review:
interesting start, hope to see more.
Comments from author:
Grin!
Review By [silvergaurd] • Date [19 Aug 10] • Rating [10 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Chapter One: Broken Hearts" from MJChaos
Review:
Interesting start, I'm looking forward to what's next.

Pax Vobiscum,
Riddick
Comments from author:
Thankyou!
Review By [MJChaos] • Date [19 Aug 10] • Rating [8 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Chapter One: Broken Hearts" from nightowl
Review:
You can't leave it there. Why did they do it and what happens next? More please. Such a small chapter and already you have me hooked. I give you cookies if you give me story. ::holds out box of cookies::
Comments from author:
I'll do what I can ... are they chocolate chip?
Review By [nightowl] • Date [19 Aug 10] • Rating [10 out of 10]
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