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The Next Generation

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Review of chapter "Part Thirty- Dark Ages" from AngellovesBuffy
Review:
I love this fic and I can't wait to read the next fic in thsi series! please continue writing such wonderful fics
Review By [AngellovesBuffy] • Date [31 May 07] • Rating [10 out of 10]
Review of chapter "The Next Generation" from LadyCarpathian
Review:
Same notes as previous.

In Chapters 18-22, there is some confusion about the twins’ age. In one sentence, Andrea is 21; yet in the next, she’s 18. This goes back and forth several times. Might want to clarify which. Also, the issue of Andrea’s preganacy is never resolved. At one point it states that she went to a doctor and nothing was found, no fetus, nothing. But later on she makes a comment about going to a party and ending up pregnant. It never really says whether it was a false pregnancy or if she was actually pregnant and did something about it. It just kind of skips around it.

Just found next part. Off to read.
Comments from author:
I'm really sorry about this. This was one of my first, and I'm slowly working on editing the entire thing. But I'm a college freshman and my muse seems to like the warmer temperatures of spring. All winter, nothing, but now....When I get to that part, I will try to make sure it is more cohesive...

Thanks so much for letting me know.
Review By [LadyCarpathian] • Date [10 Jun 05] • Not Rated
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