Large PrintHandheldAudioRating
Twisting The Hellmouth Crossing Over Awards - Results
Rules for Challenges

Seth Sails to Africa

StoryReviewsStatisticsRelated StoriesTracking
Review of chapter "Chapter One" from bucksavage
Not too bad really, I liked the setup as such and it has potential but it needs some work; some of the sentences are a little choppy as is the dialogue. Also, no offense, you need to do some research and get your facts right; Africa as a continent, is a hell of a lot wider than 101 miles across. The 101 miles you refer to is in fact the width of the Isthmus of Suez which separates it from the Asian continent. The African Continent covers 30.2 million square kilometers. The 5000km's wide part may be true, that part I couldn't confirm or prove to be otherwise.

All that being said, all it really needs, is some research and a bit of spit and polish. Good start and good luck!
Comments from author:
Thank you very much for this review even though you wrote it long ago it helped a lot.
Review By [bucksavage] • Date [19 Nov 10] • Not Rated
StoryReviewsStatisticsRelated StoriesTracking