Large PrintHandheldAudioRating
using
 paypal
Twisting The Hellmouth Crossing Over Awards - Results
Is your email address still valid?

Faith of the Old Republic

StoryReviewsStatisticsRelated StoriesTracking
Review of chapter "Chapter 13" from BrownFinderth
Review:
I do very much hope that Faith is able to remember her previous life as a Slayer!!! And what happens to Tara and Xander?
Review By [BrownFinderth] • Date [4 Mar 12] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Prologue" from BrownFinderth
Review:
Not being able to remember her previous life as a Slayer sucks!!
Review By [BrownFinderth] • Date [4 Mar 12] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter 2" from (Recent Donor)Hawklan
Review:
nice duel and looks like Revan and B. are bonding a bit *g*
Comments from author:
I'm glad you thought so.
Review By [(Recent Donor)Hawklan] • Date [29 Dec 10] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter 13" from draconis
Review:
I like the basics of the story and the style is pretty good, but it reads like it's chopped up and too much like virtually all the "meat" of the story is missing. It's more like you wrote the first few paragraphs of each chapter, skipped the rest of the chapter, and moved on to the first few paragraphs of the next chapter.

The last half of the story was particularly affected by this. Readers were left totally in the dark on too many occasions.

The evil essence would be a good example. You made us aware it exists, but not why, from where or whom, what it even is, etc. It makes it just seem like some arbitrary nebulous black mist that you tossed in to the story to change things up a bit. Then, you have the versions of Revan/Faith battling it, but you don't describe any of the battles, the costs (if any), the victories or defeats, etc. There were no examples of specific actions taken by the entity that the Revan versions tried to fight but could not, or perhaps times when Xander or Tara were misled by the entity and the Revan versions tried to make themselves known. There's just nothing there other than the fact it exists and controls Revan's body.

Developing more detail and showing interpersonal relationships more clearly would take more time, but it would improve the story considerably.
Comments from author:
I'm glad you like the idea and style of the story. Yeah I'm still new at this so... I'm going to go back and fix it up because I have this I don't know attention span issue that made me want to do something else but I kept telling myself to finish this story first. So that's the end resolutes.

Thanks for the feedback. I like getting it mostly if it may help me in the future.
Review By [draconis] • Date [20 Dec 10] • Rating [6 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Chapter 13" from bucksavage
Review:
The chapter before this was really well done, you've really gotten better at tidying up the writing, that and the action was done well. This last chapter had me a bit on the curious side though, I'm wondering now where it's going to go.
Comments from author:
*Cheers insanely* YAY!!!

Well there is a sequeal that has the prologue up and will have the next chapter up in about couple of hours give or take, cuz I have to use a Walkthrough so that the dialog from the game and the play is about the same. There will be things the follow the game to almost the letter but don't worry it will be twisted just as much as this story was. *evil grin*
Review By [bucksavage] • Date [17 Dec 10] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter 1" from (Recent Donor)Hawklan
Review:
1. Prologue

hmm trusting Whistler and the Powers...not sure that is wise

2. Chapter 1

hmm so they made Faith into Revan... as I said..never trust the Powers *g*
Comments from author:
1. Your most likely right.

2. *g*
Review By [(Recent Donor)Hawklan] • Date [7 Dec 10] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter 10" from bucksavage
Review:
Ok....the last couple chapters....chapter 9, was ok, but as was stated by another reviewer, the language was more choppy than usual. Chapter 10 was a little choppy but not bad overall. I liked the last chapter as far as the story.
Comments from author:
Thanks for pointing that out. I'm still trying to work on getting better at that. Sorry for the choppyness of it.

Glad you still like the story even with the choppy chapters.
Review By [bucksavage] • Date [5 Dec 10] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter 9" from (Recent Donor)betascud
Review:
So now once again I regret never laying my hands on "Go Ask Malice"... Tough luck...

Some time ago I thought that this whole situation will lead to Faith awakening during the memory wipe (you know, in the actual KOTOR), now I am not entirely sure what will happen. And that's good :)


The language could use some work, there are some bugs here and there. But who am I to criticize, I would never be able to keep up with a chapter a day, so I don't know anything about making errors in a rush...
Comments from author:
It's a really good book, may I suggest going to Border's or Barne and Noble and ordering it online there because that's what I had to do.

Oh Faith maybe awake right now but that still doesn't mean anything more then in the mind, for right now Revan is the domant personallity, (That had been my original plan, but I didn't want to make Revan fall to the Dark side the characters doing so I had to find a loophole in the idea somehow.) Well I always liked keeping people guessing when a told stories so maybe it crossed over into when I write them as well.

I will be honest, the whole grammar and spelling things, yeah never were my strong suits. As for the chapter a day thing, thats just the idea's fresh and my mind doesn't give me time to get writer's block and while some people may say that's not a bad thing, for me I do wish my mind would at least turn off for me to go to sleep.

Anyway Thanks for Reading
Cmiller
Review By [(Recent Donor)betascud] • Date [4 Dec 10] • Rating [8 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Chapter 8" from bucksavage
Review:
Not bad! I liked the fact that Tara and Xander recognized each other right off, but Revan/Faith didn't; it leaves a lot of questions that need answers. I really liked the last part, about the battle waging Revan's mind...there has got to be consequences when you have a Light side of the Force Jedi and A slayer who is touched by darkness dwelling in the same being.
Comments from author:
Ah...but its more then that. I would suggest going back and reading the paragraph right before the last break.

Glad you enjoyed it.
Review By [bucksavage] • Date [2 Dec 10] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter 7" from bucksavage
Review:
Hmmmmm a twist?! Now I gotta see how this plays out!
Comments from author:
Well you will, just have to wait cuz...I not sure how I'm going to have it play out.

Thanks for reading
Cmiller
Review By [bucksavage] • Date [1 Dec 10] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter 7" from Sahugani
Review:
Ok I wasn't expecting that. I really thought that Alek was Xander. Good story though keep it coming.
Comments from author:
Ah...I do love misdirections they are so much fun. Glad you liked it more should be up soon-ish

Thanks for reading.
Review By [Sahugani] • Date [1 Dec 10] • Rating [10 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Chapter 7" from AlphaBeta
Review:
Still liking the story. And yaaaa, Xander is here! The only problem I see is that it is going to fast. The story needs to slow down a little. Sorry but that is the best way to explain it.
Comments from author:
Glad you still like the story. I couldn't resist bringing in Xander. The pacing was one thing I was worried about but you also have to understand that a lot is suppose to happen in a short amount of time. Because I wanted to try and get throught the war because I have 5 years to cover between it and the start of the games timeline. So Thanks for pointing out the pacing problem I hope the next chapter helps change and reset the pace.

Thanks for reading
Cmiller
Review By [AlphaBeta] • Date [30 Nov 10] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Prologue" from (Current Donor)JanessaRavenwood
Review:
Stopping here. Interesting idea, but you *are* your memories. If they're erased, you cease to exist - so Faith's not really in this story. Accordingly, this should be re-classified as a non-crossover Star Wars story with an original or revised character.
Comments from author:
Well I'm glad you like the idea while it saddens me you won't hold out till I finish the story to see were I'm going with it. I am glad you spoke your thoughts

Cmiller
Review By [(Current Donor)JanessaRavenwood] • Date [30 Nov 10] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter 6" from bucksavage
Review:
Nice chapter! The conversation between Bastilla and Revan was very touching.
Comments from author:
Thank you. I thought so but I had tried to add a little humor. don't know if it worked?

Glad you liked it.
Cmiller
Review By [bucksavage] • Date [30 Nov 10] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter 5" from bucksavage
Review:
Getting the game may be a good idea. It'll give me some background intot he characters you are using, why you are using them and what your plans might be; its a cool way to gain some insight.

Only Star Wars PC game I have right now though is Jedi Knight II: Jedi Outcast...ever try that one?


Also, just thought of it, but the youngest, Bastilla, comes off as a combination of both Willow and Buffy to me, maybe it's just me though. I just felt them both a bit in the way you portrayed Bastilla.
Comments from author:
That too, I just thought I was converting someone to play the game. :D

I have played it and I always get stuck at one point that's early on in that game.

That could just be a red herring. Also hadn't realized that's how I have young Bastila coming off.
Review By [bucksavage] • Date [29 Nov 10] • Not Rated
Page: 1 of 2 next end
StoryReviewsStatisticsRelated StoriesTracking