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The Rise of the Slayer Jedi

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Review of chapter "Chapter 21" from BrownFinderth
Review:
Pretty good story here!!! Eager to see what happens to Faith! And, what about Tara and Xander?? What is up with those two?
Review By [BrownFinderth] • Date [4 Mar 12] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter 21" from draconis
Review:
Definitely hope this story hasn't been abandoned.

Updates were quite frequent up Dec 2010 - Jan 2011, then just abruptly stopped?
Comments from author:
Not abandoned just stuck on were I was going with it I mean besides the KOTOR games main plot.
Review By [draconis] • Date [10 Jun 11] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter 18" from jormunguard
Review:
Very realistic reaction for Faith to have with HK, lol.
I did find a couple of problems though. I will admit I'm not a grammatical genius so I'm not going to say these are wrong, just that they sound wrong.
1. In chapter 16 you end the 3rd paragraph with "Only six of them headed out from off the ramp." I think the "off" sounds kinda unneeded.
2. Also in chapter 16 after Bastila and Faith fight the Dark Jedi and enter the cantina you say: "Where went they entered and walked up to the woman Bastila pointed out as her mother." Again doesn't sound right, maybe something like "When they entered they walked up to a woman whom Bastila pointed out as being her mother."

Like I said I'm not a grammatical genius but these two just sounded kinda off. The way I use to find these type problems is after writing the chapter read the chapter out loud to yourself, you can usually find things that don't sound right. One other suggestion you might want to do that could make your chapters a little longer is add some descriptions. For me they're not really needed but I loved that game and played it ALLOT, but for someone that never played the game its a problem because there's very little visual imagery in your story.
Comments from author:
I'm glad you like the Faith HK meet and interaction. As for the possible errors I'll go back and fix if need be. On the chapter length/description I will go into more detail in the coming chapters, as for Tatooine I never thought there was much too see, plus I had given it the description of Faith pov on on the planet as a whole. But as I said on the rest of the planets and chapters there will be more detail.
Review By [jormunguard] • Date [4 Jan 11] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter 18" from (Recent Donor)betascud
Review:
Almost nice, 'cause it's overall too short. I like the idea of the pairing and stuff, it's going at a proper pace and stuff... just... as the overall chapter is short the details of the ship are also short. So - not so nice :P
Comments from author:
Oh... okay well I'll work on that through the next planet's chapters but be warned the ship will come to head in about five or six chapters...

...plus a bonus of a crack ship that you won't see coming, and a sweet scene between Jenny/Carth.
Review By [(Recent Donor)betascud] • Date [3 Jan 11] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter 18" from (Recent Donor)betascud
Review:
Non-script solution - very nice.

Bastila/Faith ship - almost nice.

No swoop race - not so nice.
Comments from author:
Glad you liked the solution.

What do you mean Bastila/Faith ship almost nice? While I love having Faith needle Bastila I kinda wanted a semi-sweet moment.

Sorry, will have it on Manaan.
Review By [(Recent Donor)betascud] • Date [3 Jan 11] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter 15" from jormunguard
Review:
lol Loved the description of Tatooine. Keep up the good work.
Comments from author:
Glad you liked it and I thought that was the best description for it or maybe it was because I'm cat sitting right now... Either way, there should be more soonish plus HK-47.
Review By [jormunguard] • Date [29 Dec 10] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter 13" from Wise
Review:
Are you really planning to rehash the entire game, doing little more than adding in an occasional, 'Faith said,' and 'Faith did?'

We know this story. We don't need every single encounter from the game repeated here.
Comments from author:
err... maybe? Haven't really thought that far ahead yet.

but honestly if I do then please enjoy the story or maybe not read it if you don't like what I have in mind. Also there may be some who don't know the story. Besides I haven't done every encounter and I don't plan too.
Review By [Wise] • Date [28 Dec 10] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter 13" from (Recent Donor)betascud
Review:
'A bit rushed I sense, this chapter was.' Or maybe there's just not much one could do about the whole 'running around Dantoine killing stray dogs'...

But I wish I had such a drive to writing. I have like 20k words in unfinished stories and ideas for 5 or 6 more - but I am unable to just sit down and write... Grrr Arr...
Comments from author:
It's true there isn't much too do at least before getting to the level off Padawan. And hey did ya like the Baywatch comment?

Err... I'm sorry or maybe I should say thank you.
Review By [(Recent Donor)betascud] • Date [28 Dec 10] • Rating [7 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Chapter 13" from jormunguard
Review:
Cool update. I like that you're keeping with Bastila's personality as it was shown in the game. I always got a kick out of her reactions when you when flirt with her in the game. And I'm glad that you didn't kill Juhani, she was actually one of my favorites in the game. Especially after I found out that Bioware had wanted to make Juhani another romanitc interest for the female Revan.
Comments from author:
Glad you think that bastila is true to character. As for Juhani I liked her character as well and I also thought that Faith really would try to do an Angel with her if ever put in the game.
Review By [jormunguard] • Date [28 Dec 10] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter 12" from Markelo
Review:
Wait. Why the Masters didn't recognize Faith? Surely ten years ha't changed her appearance so much.
Comments from author:
Have you played Knights of the Old Republic. If not then the Masters are the ones who reprogrammed Revan so they had to play ignorant. Plus Faith's more out there then Revan or at least in my mind.

Glad you like this and thanks for the questions.
Review By [Markelo] • Date [27 Dec 10] • Rating [10 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Chapter 11" from (Recent Donor)betascud
Review:
Still, a good filler it was. I won't try to predict your future ideas, for now... and that's 'cause of a special Jedi power you outlined here:

'Jedi ass sway', charisma +4 while walking away, female characters only :P
Comments from author:
Glad you liked it. And I am thankful you will stay out of my head even if its only for a little while.

Thought you would like that :D
Review By [(Recent Donor)betascud] • Date [27 Dec 10] • Rating [10 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Chapter 10" from (Recent Donor)betascud
Review:
Big thumbs up for chapter 9, smaller thumbs up for this one :P

And now a new council to meet for Faith. Maybe some mention on how the old one tried to kill her (or 'kill her too', if it's after the Grove mission and Juhani gets in some hits)...

Edit in response to the response: That's 'cause of my awesome Jedi powers :P I also review because someone must stir you to write more and there are not enough reviewers here :P
Comments from author:
*rolls eyes* glad you liked both chapters.

And can I ask you to stay out of my head please. That is a little disquieting(sp?) you know having someone read my mind in some cases.
Review By [(Recent Donor)betascud] • Date [27 Dec 10] • Rating [9 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Chapter 8" from (Recent Donor)betascud
Review:
Heh...

I wonder about Slayer package now. I see the powers are there, as well as weapon skills. Just how strong is Faith then? As strong as a Wookie? Stronger? A little show of force maybe - picking someone up and throwing him around? It would make for a nice comments from the team as well, maybe additional something pointing at the Jedi powers (besides the vision and swoop reflexes as in game)...


Also, in game Bastila is a perfect actress, not once does she slip about the identity thing. Maybe some minor points here? Like Faith catching her staring at her and thinking its sexual tension? (she wouldn't be even far of the mark, as that surely must be there since the B/Revan kiss)
Comments from author:
*smirk*

On the Strength thing you should find out in the next chapter with Canderous. And as for the Jedi powers that may or may not happen in the Sith base. You just have to wait and see.

Well on Bastila acting skills I had to make it so that at least in this chapter with the whole hooker bit seem more realistic because she had been a Jedi all her life so no real pleasure of the Flesh sitch has she been in. And don't worry I will have some fun with the whole UST between Bastila/Faith(Revan) in the coming chapters.

Grazie.
Review By [(Recent Donor)betascud] • Date [26 Dec 10] • Rating [9 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Chapter 7" from (Recent Donor)betascud
Review:
So finally Faith is not so goody-goody. I somehow don't see her as reaching full Light Side (ingame about 3rd-4th StarMap if you go all-good; I just finished the game finally, it was for 2,49E on Steam last month), maybe 1/2 above Neutral. Say, slightly lighter than Jolee.

I wonder in what order the planets will be visited... Maybe some additional false locations besides the planets ingame? Like they land, there is no vision, they look for a while, then just skip it.

... oh, maybe killing the Mandalorian on Taris? It's a dark side point...
Comments from author:
No Faith won't be all goody goody but she will stay neutral to light no Dark side but will make dark side choices don't worry.

As for planet order it's going to be the order said at the moment the player finds out their Revan, so tatooine, kayyske, manaan and then korriban.

Yes she will have a beef with starkiller.
Review By [(Recent Donor)betascud] • Date [25 Dec 10] • Rating [7 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Chapter 6" from jormunguard
Review:
Good so far. And I agree with the other reviewer that it is better when you don't exactly follow the script from the game. I will admit I'm really curious to see the interaction between HK and Faith.
Comments from author:
So I'm guessing you think this last chapter was the best? Okay, well I'm glad your enjoying this. I'm still going to work off the game script for the side quest interaction for the most part just not with the crews responses more so the people being talked too ya know.

Anyway thanks for reading and reviewing.
Review By [jormunguard] • Date [22 Dec 10] • Not Rated
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