Review of chapter "A Tale of Survival" from JediKnight
Interesting, wish there was more.
Review By [JediKnight
] • Date [29 Dec 10] • Rating [10 out of 10]
Review of chapter "A Tale of Survival" from Gideon
Nice feelgood piece. I'm glad it brought Buffy and Giles closer together.
One thing you could do to improve your writing even more is to avoid unnecessary overgeneralisations like "everyone was taken to get medical help" It just makes it seem a bit abrupt. You could just say that the wounded started to be transferred to hospital. There would be too many to transfer all at once anyway.
Comments from author:
Thank you for the review.
And for the advice.
I have to admit that it felt abrupt to me too but I was unsure how to fix that problem.
Review By [Gideon
] • Date [28 Dec 10] • Rating [7 out of 10]