"Dean looked them over, it wasn't like they could touch him, and he doubted they knew anything about salt, even if they weren't totally freaking out over the fact that a ghost was talking to them."
Umm... Why exactly does he immediately jump to the conclusion that they don't know anything about salt? I think you had him just see them fighting demons (although that was never made clear), they aren't freaking about him being a ghost and they're making wise cracks about being able to get stabbed being a crappy super-power. No, I can't see a reason for him to jump to the conclusion that they don't know about salt. It would be more believable if he assumed they knew, if only to better protect himself if things go south, and then you could have a scene later on where he learns there are gaps in their knowledge about fighting ghosts.
Good beginning otherwise, and it looks like the start of an interesting story. I hope to read more.
Review By [Coldhands] • Date [24 Jan 11] • Not Rated
Interesting...so hell= hellmouth. Never heard of that one being done~ not that I can feasibly see it but I'll be open-minded...
"So ya can't touch the Git, but you can impale yourself on a sword. Crappy super power." The blond woman spoke again.
When a person speaks you would write it with a comma. Ex:
"So ya can't touch the Git, but you can impale yourself on a sword. Crappy super power," the blond woman spoke again.
Comments from author:
thanks for the hint, it also pointed out a little pronoun problem that I have fixed :P I hope you enjoy what I have thought up, hoping to fit Dean into the Btvs world seamlessly. fingers crossed, thanks for the review!
Luna