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Toeing the Line Between Evil and the Divine

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Review of chapter "Epilogue: Chuck" from MagnusXXN
Review:
.....The single best Dawn centric fic I have ever read. The single best. Hell, I can't think of a Supernatural fic that comes close to being this good either. So much backstory, so many interaction.

We even get to see sympathy for the devil. Because really, put aside all 'evil', and the guy really did get the short end of the stick.

Loved the art as well, and the vids at the end. I'm not usualy one to read through a story this long without enjoying it, but seriously....a great read. Two thumbs up. Will miss Dawn. Though at one point I thought you were gonna make Xander god...and wouldn't that have been interesting.

At any rate, nice job.


): )
Review By [MagnusXXN] • Date [6 Oct 12] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Epilogue: Chuck" from MarcusSLazarus
Review:
The lack of any explanation about how the Scoobies met the Winchesters and Castiel in the first place is a bit of a let-down, but Dawn’s flashbacks to Lailah are still rather interesting, to say nothing of the originality of your explanation for her role in the creation of the archangels as depicted in ‘Supernatural’ (Even if the metaphysical implications of God coming from somewhere else are REALLY disturbing...), and the conclusion is strangely satisfying in its own slightly weird way (Although I confess that I mainly find it ‘weird’ that I’m remotely sympathising with Satan; for all his fine speeches in the show, in the end I still agree with Dean’s assessment that he’s just a bigger version of what Dean’s been squashing all his life).
Comments from author:
Ah yes, I really wanted to make this story more concise so I didn't want to waste time on any of the set-up regarding the Winchesters and Cas. And thank you for your compliment - I really enjoyed writing the creation story. I research theology and mythology for fun, so it was a pleasure to combine different thoughts.
Glad to hear that you found yourself having some 'sympathy for the devil' - I enjoy getting people to get a different view of characters as presented in canon.
Although true, I totally think he's a Brat Prince of epic proportions in the show, but enjoyed exploring why he may have been that way - at least through 'Lailah's' eyes.

Thank you for reading!
Review By [MarcusSLazarus] • Date [19 Jul 12] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Relating" from draconis
Review:
Very good story, very well written. A real enjoyable read.

Somewhere in the middle of the story you gave away the ending with that REALLY obvious hint...but given the way you setup the Lucifer/Lailah dynamic it was pretty much inevitable. Reading the second half was still fun, regardless. Of course, Dawn had to figure it out at the last minute 'cause her action had to be spontaneous. She can't lie worth a damn to Buffy and the others would have stopped her.

I seem to recall early on Dawn was keeping her identity secret, and then a couple of reaffirmations of that (oath?) intention. However, a few times throughout the story there were references to 'auntie dawn', the 'fun aunt', and 'my brother' that surely should have given-up her real ID to anyone listening?

Alas! The end came too soon and too quickly.

Now we'll never know about Gabriel and Illyria. Damn! (or should that be Hallelujah! ?)


edit to add:
Forgot to give kudos for a terrific genesis story of the hellmouths on earth! Very creative.
Comments from author:
Hi there :) I think the e-mail notification thing might be screwy because I just saw this.
Thank you for the review, first off :)

I think I remember hinting but it has been a while since I re-read this...hmm, darn that it was so obvious :p But I did see only a few ways this story could go -- honestly, it was originally going to end differently so I *think* when i wrote the 'hint' I meant it to be tricky since I was going in a different direction, but alas! My muse thought differently :)

I had a few people comment on the verbal slips and did answer in reviews, but realize I should have done a better job of answering it in the story. In my mind, Gabriel and Illyria don't care about slipping and Dawn, well she began to forget that it was supposed to be a secret as her mind began to take on more of Lailah's personality - because Lailah never had to hide her identity -- for the most part, anyways. The archanagels all knew she was Adanal's sister, which is why she could say that around Gabriel.

Hmm, I may need to go through and edit a bit more at some point...

Sometimes I think about a couple short sequels with Gabriel and Illyria, as well as Buffy and Chuck (and Buffy when she realizes Chuck's true identity (Adanal) - and how he has made a companion for himself just as his father had on his home planet)

Thanks for the kudos! I really enjoyed coming up with all of that.

And thanks again for reading! It is always appreciated!
Review By [draconis] • Date [29 Jun 12] • Rating [10 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Epilogue: Chuck" from AllenPitt
Review:
Unexpected ending, but makes sense. Just throwing L in a cage resolves nothing. This way he gets his own little 'verse to play with. Probably without shrimp.
And soon, Chuck will be including the slayers in those graphic novels. There'll be conventions!
Comments from author:
HAHAHA

Your entire review made me laugh - re: shrimp and the conventions.

HAHAHA

Truer words have never been spoken :)

...although can you imagine how pissed Buffy would be if her boyfriend Chuck drew in that she had a lesbian one-night stand?

Hmmm, now s8 makes more sense...
Review By [AllenPitt] • Date [28 Feb 12] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Epilogue: Chuck" from DebraN
Review:
A very interesting take on what the 'Key' may have been in the past. You did a good job of weaving it into the Supernatural mythos. I also liked the way you wrote Illyria. Thanks for sharing your story.
Review By [DebraN] • Date [27 Feb 12] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Epilogue: Chuck" from leelaa
Review:
Absolutely superb. :)
I didn't check on the updates for just a few days, and when I finally did, you had finished the story fabulously, that too with a fantastic rate of pretty much a chapter a day.
Loved every chapter, start to finish.
Adored the Dawn-Gabriel-Illyria dynamics more with every scene. *And* Crowley. LOL. This fic was great writing throughout, but especially when two or more of these four were in a scene together.
Was a little confounded at Michael and team being nowhere in sight at the big fight, but that didn't really matter in face of the yay!-happy-ending at Dawn's brainwave of a third option to killing her love or caging him. Brilliant.
Buffy's preferring Dawn with her and Lucifer caged rather than Dawn with him and happy, and wishing in hindsight that she had done more toward that end regardless of Dawn's misery, was very much in keeping with Buffy's difficulty in recognizing the depths of other people's feelings and problems. Which makes her more understandably human than all the *talk* about humanity and/or lack thereof.
And Death has his ring back?
All in all, a fantastic story. The Lailah mythology you've created here is, as a whole and in every part, maybe among the best I've ever read in fanfic. Nuanced, in character and a delight to read. Thanks so much for writing this fic. :)
Comments from author:
(sorry for the late reply)

Thanks leelaa!
Re: Mike and the Angel Squad- they didn't consider this to be the 'big' fight. This was just another crazy Lucifer thing, like how he did that spell to bring Dawn 'back' and stuff. The big event would be when Lucifer took Sam's body and then Mike would step in.

I loved writing Dawn-Gabriel-Illyria. I'm tempted to write a sequel with the latter two, but can't imagine them without their 'auntie'/'Great Mother'. They're so 'Awww' :)


Thank you so much for reading! I really appreciate your faithful regular reviews!
Review By [leelaa] • Date [26 Feb 12] • Rating [10 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Epilogue: Chuck" from Xeelia
Review:
Thank you so much for this fic! It has been a wondrous journey through the world you created! Bravo!!
Comments from author:
(sorry for the late reply)

Thank you Xeelia! I really appreciate that :)

Have a great day!
Review By [Xeelia] • Date [24 Feb 12] • Rating [10 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Epilogue: Chuck" from Dmitri
Review:
Nice ending. Really enjoyed your story. And frankly, you're a better author than the writing dep over at BtVS S8 (and now also 9).
Comments from author:
(sorry for the late reply)

Thank you Dmitri :) That compliment has me blushing :)
Review By [Dmitri] • Date [24 Feb 12] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Epilogue: Chuck" from NutsContract
Review:
.... OH MY GOD! ....

Now, I want a sequel. Like, really badly, even though you pretty much tied-up all the loose ends. As insane as it sounds, I want to see misadventures of Buffy and "Chuck." It was a pleasure reading your work and I look forward to reading more from you. :)
Comments from author:
(sorry for the late reply)

Thank you!

I kind of want to write such a sequel....I have zero time right now in my life to really dedicate it, but I was thinking of what it would look like during a long drive yesterday...
Thanks for reading!
Review By [NutsContract] • Date [24 Feb 12] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Epilogue: Chuck" from (Current Donor)Sithspit
Review:
"if you’re not then I won’t post spoilers."

So, if you're not a Supernatural fan, welcome to "The Dark", population those who haven't watched all of SPN.

That kinda ends the story with no ending. *sighs* Time to research and hope I can find the info and make whatever connection you're hinting at.
Comments from author:
Ah! I am so, SO sorry. I meant to give you the url for the fansite that says who Chuck is - and who people think he *really* is.

Here it is:http://www.supernaturalwiki.com/index.php?title=Chuck_Shurley

(I would just answer it here but I think the review is public so I didn't...)

Thank you for reading!
Review By [(Current Donor)Sithspit] • Date [24 Feb 12] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Epilogue: Chuck" from clockworkorange
Review:
Death's words really did make all the difference. He'd make an amazing life coach. Seriously.

(“Yeah, well I doubt the bloody demon was lying anyways, on account of wanting to get on the slayer’s good side,” Spike whined.

“Oh honestly Spike!” Buffy rolled her eyes.

“What? He kept talking about how bloody ‘fetching’ you were,” Spike grumbled.)

--- I love that Spike picked up on Crowley's little Buffy fixation and is so obviously jealous. Jealous!Spike will forever amuse me.

The Dawn-Illyria-Gabriel goodbye conversation was very sweet and heart warm-y. I'm glad that they said everything that they needed to say and got some closure.

(Cleveland Hellmouth – the fifty-yard line of the Cleveland Browns.)
---- LOL. I've heard about them. That WOULD explain so much, if there really was a Hellmouth under there...

(“They are not your true family, my love. I am. But,” he added with an incline of his head, “If they promise to back down I will order that no more harm be given unto them. I will even let them have a place in our utopia after I have conquered this world.”)
---- Wow, Lucifer is actually willing to compromise an inch or two now.

And he (rightfully) places the blame on himself for Dawn's unhappiness, instead of God or humans or his brothers. Character growth! Yay!

(It was like, for lack of a better example, going door to door selling Girl Scout cookies. Many dimensions welcomed her presence like she was Thin Mints, but turned her away because of of her requested guest like he was a waxy Tag-a-Long.)
--- Hahahahahahaha! OH GOD! Lucifer being compared to Tagalongs is priceless! (And Tagalongs ARE pretty awful, IMHO. Nice analogy.)

I was pleasantly suprised by how Dawn solved the Lucifer dilemma (it seems like the obvious answer now, but I still didn't expect it). It sucks that Dawn will probably never see her friends and family again (unless she can get away from Lucifer and pop in for a visit every now and then) but other than that, everyone wins. Dawn/Lailah gets to live happily ever after with her Morningstar, Lucifer get to be play God in his very own dimenson, and the humans on Earth won't have to deal with the aftermath of an apocalyptic battle between Lucifer and co. and Michael and co. Pretty good outcome overall.

And holy shit! That epilogue was GLORIOUS!

Buffy/Chuck(God/Adanal) FTW!
Review By [clockworkorange] • Date [24 Feb 12] • Rating [10 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Epilogue: Chuck" from LadyAvarice
Review:
Ooooh, that was evil! Great ending! I kinda want to read more about Buffy and Chuck, but that ending was perfect for the story. Great writing and bravo!
Comments from author:
(sorry for the late reply)

Thank you very much!
Review By [LadyAvarice] • Date [24 Feb 12] • Rating [10 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Epilogue: Chuck" from SnakeFox
Review:
Aww, seriously, this entire story has just been excellent. Thank you for writing it!

Small typo: "On nights like this, when she was traveling alone for work and hanging out in a hotel bar, Dawn especially missed her sister." - Guessing it's Buffy who especially missed her sister? :P

As for the Chuck implication... I mean, I'm guessing he's implied to be Adanal, right? Buffy sure can pick 'em =D
Comments from author:
(sorry for the late reply)

Yup! Chuck is "Adanal". Just like his father created a mate for himself on his home world, so did Chuck on his world :) Hence, the 'keep-coming-back-to-life' thing :)
Review By [SnakeFox] • Date [24 Feb 12] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Epilogue: Chuck" from Doodle
Review:
Excellent chapter. 1,000/10


I forgot to ask this in the last review, but how do you pronounce Lailah?
Comments from author:
Ooooh, me likey those thousands ;)

It is pronounced "Lay-la", with the "la" having a very soft 'a'

Thank you ever so much for reading & reviewing!
Review By [Doodle] • Date [24 Feb 12] • Rating [10 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Lucifer" from Doodle
Review:
Excellent chapter/fic. 1,000/10


(For chapter 20. Death)
Are any of these the important line?:

"But your Father knew I would reap him when the sun died, as per our agreement." and “He created that world as Adanal created this one – of course, the overachieving son had to create whole galaxies,”: By have many galaxies, the humans could colonize them, in as many galaxies as they could get to. Many galaxies equals many solar systems *equals(forgot the 'e'.) many newly created (in?)finite amount of Suns dying and being created in an (in?)finite number. (Forgot to add this:) So a many safeguard immortality.

"Of course, even if it was I doubt I could, due to being tethered to your spoiled brat of a husband,” he added in an irate tone.": As long as one of them is alive, the other can be brought back to life. So, another path of immortality.

"“I am not asking you for so big a thing.” Death gently pulled his Horseman ring from his finger and held it in his extended palm. “I am merely asking you to cage him. Then I will be free."": By Lai. not technically caging Luc., and instead escaping to another dimension, thereby not freeing Death, they cannot die? or something.
Comments from author:
Wooo! 1,000/10? Niiiiice :D Many thanks!

None of those lines are the 'important' one that I meant...perhaps it will make more sense when you read the final chapter.

Thank you for reading!
Review By [Doodle] • Date [24 Feb 12] • Rating [10 out of 10]
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