I don't know to much about Horatio Hornblower. My family has a mini-series somewhere that I've never watched. That being said, this has potential.

One of the things I would fix is what tense you're using. You switch between present tense and past tense at irregular intervals and it's jarring. You should also make sure you've got the words you want where you want them. In the fourth chapter you have the word 'families' instead of 'familiarize'.

Other than that, you've got a good start here.

Thanks for the review.

Better, still a few typos though; like it should be 'His Majesties...son on and so forth and 2nd Lieutenant.

As I say a marked improvement, keep plugging away!

dave.

Thank you for the review.