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The New Guy

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Review of chapter "Chapter Two" from RevDorothyL
Review:
Really enjoyable.
Review By [RevDorothyL] • Date [1 Jun 14] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter Two" from Netchka
Review:
More please! More please. Can't wait for more please. :-)
Review By [Netchka] • Date [23 Jun 13] • Rating [10 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Chapter Two" from BrownFinderth
Review:
What?!? No next?!!! Come on, author! Please continue this fascinating story line!
Review By [BrownFinderth] • Date [25 Jan 12] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter Two" from BrownFinderth
Review:
Very good prequel!!! Really liked reading it!! And on to the next.
Review By [BrownFinderth] • Date [25 Jan 12] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter One" from CPTSkip
Review:
This is a terrific beginning. I like Faith's 'cuz'. I really look forward to reading more of your story.
Review By [CPTSkip] • Date [27 Mar 11] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter One" from spygrrl
Review:
I'm interested to see how this ties into the series. It was a good first chapter. You definitely got Buffy, Giles, Dawn and Xander's dialogue really well; it felt very authentic.

I do question your timeline though. If it is only 3 years post-"Chosen" then it doesn't seem like Faith would have kids old enough to speak so well. At most, if she got pregnant after the first time she and Robin slept together, the kids would just be past 2 years old when speech is just beginning to develop. Just something to think about. Vi also seems really young to be pregnant, but maybe you did that on purpose and it will become clearer later. Again, just something that stood out to me.

There were some grammatical errors as well - primarily you would put a period where it doesn't belong, ending a sentence too soon. For example: "While She and Eddie had argued before Amy's murder. It was nothing like how they argued after." Instead of a period after the word "murder" it should be a comma. The first part is not a complete sentence. I don't know if you have a beta reader or not, but it can be a big help for catching stuff like that.


Thanks for posting. Looking forward to more.
Review By [spygrrl] • Date [27 Mar 11] • Not Rated
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