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California Girls-A Grim Interlude.

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Review of chapter "Chapter Eight." from DieselDriver
Review:
“Okay, sweet-cheeks here we go,” Lorne took a deep breath, “very soon, in fact almost as soon as you get home you will have a major shock that will ultimately be life changing for you and your closest family and friends.” Lorne drank the other half of his Sea Breeze, “You’ll go away on a long journey but you’ll come back almost before you leave and finally you’ll stay in one place which isn’t your home for a year before going home…there’s something about the law as well.”

Sounds like she's going to a different dimension where time is different doing something for a year there and returning back to almost the moment she left. It's not the Doctor because she would not be staying in one place.
Comments from author:
Actually its more mundane than that, beware prophesies!

Did you hear the one about the wizard who was told that he would die and it would be something to do with cooked meat?

He died from food poisoning brought on by eating raw meat!

Cheers,
D.
Review By [DieselDriver] • Date [21 Jan 14] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter Seven." from DieselDriver
Review:
Eeewww! I was mostly wrong about the demon, I thought it would be non-corporeal.
Comments from author:
Nah, that would be no fun!

Cheers,
D.
Review By [DieselDriver] • Date [21 Jan 14] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter Six." from DieselDriver
Review:
"Gloat gloat"... It was W&H "ever heard of Wolfram and Hart?” "

For once I actually figured out something that was going to be true in the story. First time for everything. That's one of the things that I like about your stories, they surprise me. That bit with the "wild haggises" was really funny and totally out of the blue for me. I still laugh about it.

Sounds like the demon jumps to the nearest warm body. Perhaps tranquilize the "host" body and lock it in a cell, and kill it. Let the demon jump into Buffy and see how it likes dealing with the "Slayer Essence"?
Review By [DieselDriver] • Date [21 Jan 14] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter Five." from DieselDriver
Review:
From Dictionary.com, thought you might like to know:
(a very useful tool)

"all be it" is usually one word "albeit"


al·be·it [awl-bee-it] Show IPA conjunction

although; even if: a peaceful, albeit brief retirement.

Origin:
1350–1400; Middle English al be it al(though) it be

Dude, it's from your country! You should know it. LOL

Edit: "Standing on the breaks, Buffy brought the car to a screaming halt,"

"Breaks" are what you have in your bones when you land after jumping off a tall building. "Brakes" are what you use to stop a car. I know this is true in Britain because I've owned several English cars and a motorcycle or two from there. "Brakes" are still brakes even though a "hood" is a "bonnet" and the "trunk" is a "boot". 65 BSA Lightning, which if you relied on the brakes you'd probably end up with breaks.

I also know very well the clever designs of the "Prince of Darkness" Lucas Electrics founded by "Joseph Lucas" about 130 years ago. Owned a 1965 Rover TC2000 too. Drove great but I couldn't get parts. Stupid ceramic swivel that held the shifter in place broke out the bottom and I had to pull it up into place every time I shifted. I did, however, love the "brakes". Had a friend who had an MGA which I helped convert to modern hydraulic shock absorbers. During school I had an MG1100, which my sister managed to oversteer into the side of a mountain. We never could get a rational explanation from her for how she did that. It wasn't any good after that. Junked it.
Comments from author:
Can't say I've ever seen it written like that and it looks too much like 'Albert'. I think it might be one of those things that's fallen out of use even if its still in the dictionary.

Breaks/brakes another example of why you need a beta, I do know the difference its just that I didn't catch it before posting. As I say the brain has its own auto-correct!

I know nothing about cars having never owned one...the only thing I can drive is a tank!

Cheers,
D.
Review By [DieselDriver] • Date [21 Jan 14] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter Four." from DieselDriver
Review:
heh, Buffy blew it that time. Find a pier, throw the gun as far out to sea as she can and get on a plane back to England RIGHT NOW!!!

Or, she should have let Cordy's lawyers handle it and paid her back from council funds. Wondering though, Does her firm's initials look like Wolfram & Hart? That would be funny.
Review By [DieselDriver] • Date [21 Jan 14] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter Three." from DieselDriver
Review:
Ok, I have to say that Buffy as an alcoholic still kind of boggles my mind a bit. I was under the impression that poisons that don't outright kill a slayer, did not have an affect on the slayer metabolism after the first couple of exposures.

So they should not have any affect good or bad, like the good feeling you get after going without for awhile and you finally get that drink as described in this chapter and the preceding one. As for her getting drunk like in the previous "gun" stories... The I understood was she might get roaring drunk the first time, mildly soused the second and after that, no effect. Maybe alcohol is "special"?

Yeah, I know about the drink the morning after too. Haven't had an alcoholic beverage since 1973.
Comments from author:
I'm going with the alcohol is 'special' Also Alcohol isn't a true poison if its a poison at all. Small amounts of alcohol are actually beneficial and abstaining from alcohol completely can be harmful...moderation in all things. I haven't been drunk since the mid 70's, I decided that I didn't like the hangovers, I still drink ale but I don't get drunk.

Cheers,
D.
Review By [DieselDriver] • Date [21 Jan 14] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter Two." from DieselDriver
Review:
One thing I really don't care about is (per your A/N at the beginning of the chapter) staying on "canon". I like these stories because of the entertaining things people think up for the "canon" characters to go off "canon". Otherwise I'd go back and watch the TV.
Comments from author:
Ah yes, I know what you mean. I made this comment because I changed the back story so that this story would work.

Cheers,
D.
Review By [DieselDriver] • Date [21 Jan 14] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter Eight." from maxthehobbit
Review:
Didn't understand the Brenda thing. Buffy becoming an alcoholic makes sense, if anyone had her life they'd drink to excess or worse. Slayers using guns also makes sense, but if they used a .410 with a flare round it would burn vamps to dust.
The running gun battle was also good as well as the chase scene. Not sure if I ever saw Buffy drive in the series, but I've read so much fanfiction now I don't remember much about the Buffy TV series. All fanfiction I've read has Buffy being a maniac behind the wheel.
Another great read, Thanks.
Comments from author:
The stripper called Brenda was actually taken from the film, I just thought it an odd name for a Stripper!

The fanfic thing about slayers not being good drivers is just that, a fanfic thing. Buffy does indeed drive several time during BtVS. The first time she's not very good and gets crashed into (not her fault). Later in the series she's seen driving so she can't be that bad.

Normally I show Slayers as being VERY good drivers...fast but safe. It's just that other people panic when they see them coming. I don't know if you're reading all the stories in this series but in one of the other stories Faith gives Xander a lift and nearly gives him a heart attack too!

Alcoholic Buffy. Her life and in this series her feelings of isolation (everyone seems to have something/one else in their lives except her) starts her drinking, plus there's the responsibility of running the Slayer Organisation. Everyone seems to forget that running a worldwide clandestine organisation is stressful!

Cheers
D.
Review By [maxthehobbit] • Date [18 Dec 11] • Rating [10 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Chapter Eight." from spike
Review:
really liked the take on The Hidden that you presented with the Buffy/Angel cast what makes this even cooler is I just watched that movie a few days ago. I'm confused though is this set in some kind of alternate reality for one thing where is Angel
Comments from author:
Yes this story is part of a series I've written where Buffy killed Angel back in BtVS S3 when he came back from hell. Of the stories in the series this one was the only one that was really affected by the change.

Glad you liked the fic.
Cheers,
Dave.
Review By [spike] • Date [16 Jun 11] • Rating [10 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Chapter Eight." from PATM
Review:
That is Grim indeed. As in real life everyone is ignoring Buffy's Vodka intake. Forgetting the reading from Lorne is typical of real life also. I would appreciate Buffy's dance too. I read those lines describing it carefully.
Comments from author:
OH, if only I could have got it on tape!

Cheers,
Dave.
Review By [PATM] • Date [19 May 11] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter Eight." from Mcspender
Review:
The alien dude almost looked like a Goa'uld, altough, the snakes are far smarter that that thrill seeker alien dude. By the way, the power of grey skull spell?? A classic =D!.
Poor Buffy, she really needs to find something to live for, besides the slaying.
Rignt onto the next part of the series, see ya!!.
Comments from author:
Poor Buffy has further to fall yet...

Yes, the power of grey skull' just called to me. One of those situations where you just have to say SOMETHING!

More Grimness soon.

Cheers Dave.
Review By [Mcspender] • Date [19 May 11] • Rating [10 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Chapter Eight." from MarcusRowland
Review:
Interesting take on Lorne's ability. Or is he messing with her?
Comments from author:
You gotta admit it, which is best? The picture of Buffy singing or the picture of Buffy pole dancing?

As I'd changed various other things I thought I'd change Lorne's abilities too.

Cheers,
Dave.
Review By [MarcusRowland] • Date [19 May 11] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter Eight." from BarbarossaRotbart
Review:
That's really an evil variant of the Angel theme.
Comments from author:
Ah-well, I'm well know for my evilness...MAW-HA-HA!

Cheers,
Dave.
Review By [BarbarossaRotbart] • Date [19 May 11] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter Six." from Mcspender
Review:
Nice shooting action.
And yeah, Buffy did choose a good gun, a .45 =D!.
Cool chapter, see ya!.
Comments from author:
Thanks, hope you like the 'final battle', coming to a fic near you soon!

Dave.
Review By [Mcspender] • Date [18 May 11] • Rating [10 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Chapter Six." from PATM
Review:
Fun read. Buffy is showing a great deal of aggression with the .45 which she waves around beautifully. Was Harmony the vamp that bit Kate?
Comments from author:
Harmony/Kate no. the vamp that bit Kate was just some nameless female vamp, if this had been a longer fic I might have put in some back story there.

Yes, I thought it might be fun to see a gun tooting Buffy for a change, waving her gun around like it was nothing.

Cheers,
Dave.
Review By [PATM] • Date [17 May 11] • Not Rated
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