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Review of chapter "Chapter Seven" from (Current Donor)BaronScrewtape
Review:
Okaaaaay...


So... basically you have Buffy being raped by Loki using O'Neill's sperm, and she does not have severe issues with this? You have her being waaaay to accepting.

And Thor is EXTREMELY OOC as well... he would view what Loki has done as an atrocity, and would not have suggested it was an 'honor' for Buffy to be forcefully impregnated by a deranged member of his species. And while the Asgard had respect for O'Neill, they never treated him like he was a god.

Realistically, you have a very angsty, deep premise here with very complicated issues that you are just skimming over to focus on the 'laughs' of a very heroic young woman who has already had 'higher powers' force all sorts of miserable shit on her being forcibly impregnated with the baby of a man who has issues with alien beings (or anyone) abusing children... which he would consider Buffy to still be.

Yep all sorts of comedy gold here. Think I will pass on reading any more of this.
Review By [(Current Donor)BaronScrewtape] • Date [23 Apr 14] • Rating [1 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Chapter One" from DieselDriver
Review:
Someone needs to teach this author how to properly use the English language. The story idea is good but the wording is so bad that I simply cannot stand to read it.
Review By [DieselDriver] • Date [20 Aug 13] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter Nineteen" from BrownFinderth
Review:
So, this is the expanded version of 2nd chance, eh? Well, I'm certainly looking forward to reading more of this story as the author continues to write it!!! I really, really liked the chapter wherein Buffy got an orgasm over the food she was eating!!
Review By [BrownFinderth] • Date [21 Jan 12] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter Nineteen" from Genuka
Review:
"Simple. The one that attacks you is a bad demon."

I so love this story! I think I read at least part of it in its previous incarnation.... oh well. Nice to find it again. More please!
Review By [Genuka] • Date [24 Jul 11] • Rating [10 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Chapter Nineteen" from mithrilandtj
Review:
Of course they still have yet to mention that Buffy is pregnant because of an alien... not demon.
Review By [mithrilandtj] • Date [20 Jul 11] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter Nineteen" from FireWolfe
Review:
I so love Buffy's logic. Great chapter.
Review By [FireWolfe] • Date [19 Jul 11] • Rating [10 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Chapter Nineteen" from serenityselena
Review:
it sure is difficult for some people to accept what they are being told...
hope to read more soon ^_^
Review By [serenityselena] • Date [19 Jul 11] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter Nineteen" from kayron
Review:
I'm looking forward to them explaining TO the military just how the military royally messed up. Maybe Hammond would be able to get access to the Initiative records for proof about the Sunnydaler's claims.
Review By [kayron] • Date [19 Jul 11] • Rating [8 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Chapter Nineteen" from Eureka
Review:
WOW get done writing review and another chapter comes up! COOL!
So Daniel semi-believes and the rest are gonna need a demo of her strength! They got any fireplace pokers over there? LOL Or better yet have Angel show up there after dark! LOL That would scare the pants off of them.
Review By [Eureka] • Date [19 Jul 11] • Rating [10 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Chapter Eighteen" from Eureka
Review:
Oh so JACK can be all freaky with his Aliens and everything, but Demons and stuff can't exist?
And what the heck do they think they are doing just thrusting this on SG1? Nobody else can be told but they just YELL it out to them? Wacked it is. Seems to me that a bunch o'people are in big trouble! Are they gonna shut up long enough to hear Buffy's side?
Review By [Eureka] • Date [19 Jul 11] • Rating [10 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Chapter Seventeen" from tracysgate
Review:
Oh. I'm hooked. More please? Please please please?
Review By [tracysgate] • Date [14 Jul 11] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter Seventeen" from (Current Donor)vladt
Review:
hope you enjoy writing this, as much as i enjoy reading it. thank you.
Comments from author:
I do.. Thanks!!
Review By [(Current Donor)vladt] • Date [2 Jul 11] • Rating [9 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Chapter Seventeen" from elfwyn
Review:
What a way to wreck a wedding! Poor Jack, is he in for it. Love the way the story is developing and the chemistry between Jack and Buffy.
Review By [elfwyn] • Date [2 Jul 11] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter Seventeen" from joshlamont
Review:
There's proper terms for these I'm sure, but there are four elements to a written story that can make or break it- the story, the story's crafting, the language, and the language crafting. The story is the plot itself- Slayer gets abducted by aliens, impregnated with awesome hero's sperm, runs away when told she carries a demon child. The story's crafting is *how* you tell that story. Which characters, what they say, how they feel, the world they act in. It's the set, the props, the choreography. The language is basic syntax- spelling, grammar, punctuation, etc. Language crafting is how you use the language- the word choices, the sentence structure, how you put things together. Did Buffy hit Xander, or did she wheel back and slap his face so hard it echoed?

You've got a decent story here, and your language crafting could use some work, but since they're neither extremely good or bad, they don't really do anything for or against you.

What *shines* in this is your story's crafting- the characters, their reactions, the way everything happens. It keeps me interested, makes me empathize, has me laughing. It's *good*.

Which is why your language is driving people up the wall. You have a good thing going here, a gift, but presenting it with faulty language is like taking a painting and throwing mud on it before you hang it, or reading poetry with a Dudley Do-Right impression. It's jarring. You want to present this with style, give it polish.

Again, your storycrafting is /good/. So please, give it a medium to blossom in.
Comments from author:
That you... I know I tell good stories but sometimes other get me down that I want to give up. I have seen one author gives up because someone or more than one someones told her she wasn't good at the grammar etc. Thanks for sticking with me.

PS. My others stories "Warriors of Light, Three Warriors and Cracked, but not Broken will be beta.
Review By [joshlamont] • Date [30 Jun 11] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter Seventeen" from Eureka
Review:
I don't know what people are grousing about, I find this hilarious! I mean, yes; there are spelling and grammar mistakes, but anyone who is going without a beta is gonna have mistakes. People meed to remember that everybody makes mistakes.
OK Now to the review!
So all this time they have thought she was preg by a demon and she has been trying to get to the daddy without really realizing it. Thor helps her find him and they fall... Then when O'Neil realizes that she is sad he contacts the Scoobies and they rush over thinking the worst! LOL
This is going to be very funny, specially since Willow being her usual self blurted out what they think and SG1 doesn't even know about her (Buffy's) past yet! That is going to be some convo later!
Can't wait for more chapters. Ignore the snarkers.
Comments from author:
Thanks for the review! I will ignore the snarkers if I can. I am glad someone has something positive to say. I don't mind critique as long it is positive. My take on on reviewing.. If you don't have anything nice to say, don't. Especially since we are not getting paid for this. This is should be fun and entertaining.
Review By [Eureka] • Date [29 Jun 11] • Rating [10 out of 10]
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