Oh wow, what a great story.

I love this series so much, thank you!

Thank you. Of all the shorts, this is my favourite.

Thanks for reviewing

excellent read, thank you.

Glad you liked it. Thanks for reviewing

Beautiful story.

Dawn, almost, is a Mary Sue. She tends to come up with things that a typical 10 year old doesn't. Macbeth comes to mind.

However, I am loving how you are outing flesh on the false memories.

James

Thank you. Dawn is a very clever, rather bookish young girl. I was aware of the first scene of MacBeth at age ten myself, having seen it in Dutch. She also has all those spy-ish habits...

Thanks for reviewing

Very good back story!!! It was an important part of the story presented here and I appreciated it.

Thank you. It's one of my favourite side stories.Thanks for reviewing

Child on child violence is always disturbing and it's really appalling how it's tolerated or plain ignored. If I were to attack another adult and steal or damage their property, it would be a police matter. No question of it. Plus kids tend to have less of a sense of proportion than adults do and can really go overboard. It's good that you make all this clear in your story.

It is, isn't it? It's one reason I wanted this especially to be a seperate story. I feel it has more impact that way.

Thanks for reviewing

I haven't read any story in this series except this one. I was in the mood for some funny Dawn action. Not many stories about Dawn on the net, I think I've read them all except the one-shot not worth reading kind.

This story is much different than any Dawn story I've read. I like Dawn stories because they are usually about a teenager trying to be an adult, but fails miserably and fun ensues. I was not expecting such a serious story about Dawn, born at 14, but is a ten year old in this story.

It was sort of a give-away when it was mentioned that she had dirty hair and scruffy clothes early in the story ... meaning she wasn't stealing lunch money just to be mean.

Then it turned into an almost 'Lord of the Flies' thing when the kids starting beating on Kit to the point of breaking bones and causing severe internal damage.

I never saw the part about her Mother becoming a Vamp, then Kit having to kill her own Mother ... and a vamp is supposed to be abnormally strong, but killed by a ten year old ... a little unreal.

I normally hate emotional sissy/girly stories, but this one snuck up on me and before I knew it I had to hold back tears ... and I'm almost six foot tall and 180 pounds. This is one of the very best short stories I've ever read, very well done.

Thanks for posting it and I'm gonna take a look at this series. if the other stories are only half as good they'll still rate an A+.

Thank you. I like filling in the blanks in Dawn's history. I wanted to show that Sunnydale is a place that needs help of many kinds, this just being one.

Kit killed her vamp-mother in much the same way that Xander killed Jesse: by accident. Ordinarily she would have failed, but this was sheer luck. I may write the scene one day, I don't know. I tried to, but failed.

As I'm almost six foot five and close to 200 lbs, there is no shame. ;-) Thank you very much for the compliments and I hope that you like the other stories in the series.

Thanks for reviewing, glad you enjoyed it.

Wow! Hit the part in Lonely that says to read this one first and man did you get me all choked up by the end. Dawn forming her own little army to deal with a bully was a nice touch as was said army spinning out of control. Then a few clues about 'Mom' up and vanishing from Kit's life tipped me that she got made a vamp and Kit somehow knew this...but NEVER..NEVER in my wildest mind would I have thought she had to destroy the vampire wearing her mom's body.

Even writing this review up that still gets me a tad misty eyed at the poor girl's lot in life and look forward to reading more about her as I jump back into Lonely with both feet!

-J-

PS

Liking Harm's little sibs a whole lot. Dawn seems to have formed...well her own junior Cordette Squard...but one that is on the side of 'good'. Hope to see more of the Dawnettes!

Glad you took a break and read Devil. It really does read better as a stand alone I think. I must admit I'm still not entirely sure how that story developed quite the way it did, at first Kit was supposed to be a neglected child of an abusive mother, then it became this. I'm glad you liked it. And I'm glad you like Lonely Souls. I hope you'll read the other stories as well, they do complement the whole.

I like Felicity and Melody as well, they were, and are quite fun to write. The Dawnettes will make additional appearances, yup.


Thanks and thanks for reviewing

Wow. That was... just... wow. So powerful, so evocative. Excellent story. This was an amazing way of bringing someone else inside. I love how Kit was very tactical and fair, just taking what she needed, and doing it equally, She was so broken, and she's only ten! But now she'll get better, I hope .
I also liked Dawn's tactics and pact. I find it interesting that she chose a unifying and defensive tactic rather than an offensive one. Of course, most likely an older child would have thought to use a psychological tactic, and find out why Kit was doing something so specific, but even so, it was quite impressive.
Beautiful piece of work, with some room for Dawn to shine. Just one last comment: If Simon is the very model of a modern major general, with so many daughters, does that mean his youngest will get married to a pirate?

Thank you. I do hope Kit will get better. I felt qutie bad for all the things I put her through. I would feel even worse if ruined her. Both Kit and Dawn are very intelligent, but both are also only ten years old. They make mistakes due to that. An adult who'd cared enough to listen and look might have been more able to help.

I wanted to give Dawn a moment in the spotlight, this seemed to work pretty well. I doubt Simon claims knowledge of all things mineral... ;-) Thanks for reviewing

Since you asked for a review, here I am :P I was going to do this a few days ago, but.... I forgot.

It's been a while since I actually read this, so this won't be as detailed a review as you were possibly hoping, but the story just isn't fresh in my mind right now. Anyway, I definately enjoyed it, which is the crucial point obviously. Sadly I read a chapter too far in lonely souls and ruined the reveal about Kit's mum, which kinda took away from my enjoyment of the last chapter, but that's my own fault.

I have to admit having the kids gang up on Kit, while understandable, was a little disturbing. Having said that, kids can be cruel at times and Kit hadn't exactly been nice to them either so...

Anyway like I said I enjoyed it, and it made me feel very sorry for Kit, and glad that she was taken in by Joyce.

Side note- I really need to stop reviewing at 3am.

Thanks and no problem. I shall add a large warning not to read this story until the appropriate time, that may help to preserve the big reveal.

And they live on the Hellmouth. Everybody is just a little bit nastier... And making you feel sorry for poor Kit was of course, the intent.

THanks for reviewing, even at 3am. ;-)

Quite an ending. The school ganging up on Kit was horrific, if an understandable consequence, but the revelation about Kit's mother... I had not expected her to turn out anything other than the deadbeat Kit had proclaimed her as. It really makes the reader feel for the poor girl. And a lot of parents and teachers are going to have their eyes opened when this all comes out...

Oh yes. I worked hard at that ending. And I still feel guilty putting Kit through it darn it.

The school is going to go through some changes, yes...

Thanks for reviewing.

I can't really put it much better than quite a few others have already said. Very heart rending emotional chapter. To have been a child who had to kill their own parent for being a monster. At least she will now have people who will be protecting her instead of trying to feed off of her. How will they explain what happened to her mother when Joyce goes for adoption which we all know she will?

Thanks. I shall guilt some more.

As for Adoption...well Simon does have a lot of resources...she's been missing for six months and no one is likely to wnat Kit... so not a great big deal to foster her, and in a few years Miss Katherine Meier will be a debutante...

Thanks for reviewing

<3

Glad you do.

Thanks for reviewing.

Damn. I really wanted to hurt Kit's mother. Now I just feel sad about her. And Kit, poor child, having to live with that memory.

So, are the Ross's mentioned here the adoptive parents of Marcie (invisible girl)? Was Kit placed with them as a foster child between her father going to prison and her mother getting custody? It can't have been after her mother disappeared, if she still has official custody. Hmmm... I don't know American custody laws, so maybe it is possible to be in a foster home while officially in someone else's custody.

But if it was after her mother's disappearance, why wasn't she living with them instead of out in the forest? And if she ran away from them someone should have mentioned it. Unless the foster family didn't bother (do they get paid money for being foster parents?) and the school didn't notice (she did continue going to school).

Yes, poor Kit...I may have gone overboard...guilt.

As for the Ross' yes, they are the same. The why's, wherefore's and hows will come up when Lonely Souls rolls round to them.

Thanks for reviewing.

You know I was very cautious at first when I started reading this series, but as I have continued I have found that I both love and (dislike isn't right and hate is just wrong) the works. I love your work because I find myself eagerly awaiting your next update so I can read some more, and I find myself deeply immersed in the story as I read. The other feeling comes from the emotions you bring forth and that just means you're doing it right.

Please keep it up.

Thanks very much for the compliments. I do try to evoke emotions, writing that does not do so might as well be an instruction manual.

I will certainly do my best.

Thanks for reading and reviewing

Beautifully written emotions - It is rare to read something that makes you feel what the characters feel.

Thanks very much. I must admit I split it into a separate story to have the emotions hit as hard as possible. I am a heel...

Thanks for reviewing.