Large PrintHandheldAudioRating
using
 paypal
Twisting The Hellmouth Crossing Over Awards - Results
Rules for Challenges

Hell on Earth

StoryReviewsStatisticsRelated StoriesTracking
Review of chapter "Chapter One" from (Recent Donor)Luna
Review:
Hello again Danni :)

Here are my comments:

He hurried over and, with a small jolt of electricity, extracted a wad of bills from the machine.------------ How handy!

I like the way you describe things. Like:
No, it was better to be detached, he quickly realised. To remain in this mute, shocked, barely comprehending state. He began to understand some of Buffy’s dilemma, why she had struggled over the years to form emotional attachments. Emotions didn’t get the job done at times like these. He roughly forced the images of people running and screaming from hell monsters from his mind and focused on the woman in front of him.

And nice ending:
At first, he didn’t quite register what he saw. He took a step back in horror.

The eastern horizon was black.

…Again, I’m honestly not sure why you’re not getting many reviews. My only guess is it’s the crossover. Heroes isn’t very popular on this site, in comparison to other fandoms. Also, it’s always hard to pick up a series.

I really think you have some good stuff going on here. And the Peter/Buffy romance is interesting enough for me to keep reading, just because I’m curious. Oh, and the evil cliffhanger helps as well! ;)
Comments from author:
And again, thankyou. As I said, it's not really the lack of reviews... I can accept that Heroes is a bit niche (which I find strange because, despite how much they mucked up the show, I thought the characters were fantastic) - Haha... boy have you ever got an evil cliffhanger coming up ;) *hugsaplenty*

EDIT: Although, gah... 'he roughly forced images from his mind...'?? I'm looking at that now and thinking he must have punched himself in the head or something. Bad fluffymuskateer... step AWAY from the adverbs!
Review By [(Recent Donor)Luna] • Date [20 Aug 11] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Prologue" from (Recent Donor)Luna
Review:
Hi fluffy!

So I saw your forum post and decided to check out your story.

First, I ignored it on the Latest page because it was a Dogma crossover (which I only watched half-of) and Heroes (I LOVED season 1 and then it sucked, and thus I’ve never read one of their fanfics). So that could be why some people aren’t really reading it, ya know? However, write what you write. I have some fics that get 2k hits a chapter and many others that only get 400 hits/chapter. Do I not write the lesser-read fics? Nope, cause I love those characters/crossover universes that others maybe don’t as much, and that’s fine by me :)

Your first chapter was really well-written. Honestly, I don’t really see anything you did wrong that would dissuade people from reading. The only things are outside of your control:
1. People who didn’t read the first fic, are too lazy to, thus had no idea what’s going on, and quit in frustration. = Not your fault.
2. People who don’t like the crossovers or don’t like the character Peter Petrelli. Peter always got on my nerves, so personally I wouldn’t read farther just because of that – like I said, this crossover isn’t my thing. But again, that’s outside your control.

I’ll read some more later and see if I can give better concrit.
Comments from author:
Hi Luna. Your feedback is fantastic, thankyou! And, reassuring. I really appreciate you taking the time to go through this, especially as it's not a fic you'd normally read. Methinks cookies will be heading your way (in some form or other) x
Review By [(Recent Donor)Luna] • Date [20 Aug 11] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter Twelve" from enfranr
Review:
Great chapter!! I am loving the crossover with Dogma! :)
Comments from author:
Thankyou, I'm glad you're enjoying it so far!
Review By [enfranr] • Date [14 Aug 11] • Rating [10 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Chapter Eleven" from Mcspender
Review:
Weeell, can't say that Willow is kinda ok in the head, but at least, it was a dream... for the moment ;)!.
And Loki is cool, I like him =D!!.
Cool chapter, see ya!!.
Comments from author:
Lol, yeah, Sylar really did a number on her. Glad you like Loki, thanks for the review :)
Review By [Mcspender] • Date [9 Aug 11] • Rating [10 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Chapter Seven" from Greywizard
Review:
Very cool. ;-)

The description of Sylar's resurrection was also exceedingly disturbing in a 'reversed action animated display' kind of way. ;-)
Comments from author:
Thankyou! I'm glad you liked the resurrection, sucks for Willow though. I couldn't *not* bring him back of course ;)
Review By [Greywizard] • Date [18 Jul 11] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter Seven" from enfranr
Review:
Ahh, I love this chapter!! I can't wait to find out what happens next! :D
Comments from author:
Thanks for the review. Shouldn't be too long to wait ;)
Review By [enfranr] • Date [17 Jul 11] • Rating [10 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Chapter Six" from Mcspender
Review:
Willow, Willow, let's see how she deals with this, let's see wht she's really made of.
So, this was the reason of the paradox, guess the Big Boss wants Willow to learn, to really learn.
Good, veery good.
Cool chapter, see ya!.
Comments from author:
Thankyou for the review! Glad you're enjoying so far... I can't wait to see what Willow's really made of too ;)
Review By [Mcspender] • Date [10 Jul 11] • Rating [10 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Chapter Five" from Mcspender
Review:
Wonder who has the power to do that to Hiro's power, I mean, someone is working to destroy the world. Intriguing, very intriguing.
Cool chapter, see ya!!.
Comments from author:
Thanks for your review, and I love your theory! I hope you enjoy what happens... ;)
Review By [Mcspender] • Date [6 Jul 11] • Rating [10 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Prologue" from Greywizard
Review:
All right, this chapter makes it looks like the world's boned, regardless of whatever they try to do.

If that is so, then that means that they need to to contact a Higher Power which does have the power to do that, which means that they're in a lot deeper hole than they thought they were.
Comments from author:
Hehe, I love the theories! I hope you like the solution they come up with :) Thankyou for the review x
Review By [Greywizard] • Date [6 Jul 11] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter Four" from Greywizard
Review:
Okay, this chapter kicks eve more ass than any of the previous chapters!!! ;-)

And there is no way that Buffy can talk Hiro out of doing this, since he truly is the epitome of the samurai ideal: the honorable warrior who will accomplish his mission despite the personal cost.

Hiro was unquestionably one of the most noble and honorable characters who have been shown in film or television.

Can't wait to see what happens next.
Comments from author:
Thankyou! We'll start getting to the 'meat and veg' of the plot soon... I hope you'll enjoy. I think Hiro was one of my fave characters from the show... after Sylar of course ;)
Review By [Greywizard] • Date [4 Jul 11] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter Four" from Mcspender
Review:
Nakamura Hiro, one of the coolest and noblest characters I've seen in quite a long while. I really liked that he wasn't a brooder, he was positive and cool, and willing to do the right thing always, like a true hero =).
Cool chapter, see ya!!.
Comments from author:
I know... Hiro rocks. It's fun writing him, his heart is true!
Review By [Mcspender] • Date [3 Jul 11] • Rating [10 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Chapter Four" from enfranr
Review:
Keep up the great work! :)
Comments from author:
Thankyou... I shall try!x
Review By [enfranr] • Date [3 Jul 11] • Rating [9 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Chapter Three" from Greywizard
Review:
Okay, this is really starting to make my stomach clench, the same way some episodes of BtVS and Heroes did.

Good setup, and I was wondering when Peter would remember that Hiro might be able to change things.

Looking forward to the next chapter.
Comments from author:
Thankyou! Stomach clenching is good :)
Review By [Greywizard] • Date [1 Jul 11] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter One" from MysticOracle
Review:
This looks really intriguing-can't wait to read more!
Comments from author:
Thanks for the review... plot bunny's got me in its grip so more will be a-comin!
Review By [MysticOracle] • Date [28 Jun 11] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Prologue" from shazamfan
Review:
WOW! What a way to kick off a story.

-J-
Comments from author:
Thankyou :) Peter's such a hero x
Review By [shazamfan] • Date [25 Jun 11] • Rating [10 out of 10]
Page: 1 of 2 next end
StoryReviewsStatisticsRelated StoriesTracking