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Review of chapter "Monday Morning" from jormunguard
For the most part good job with the story. The only down side that I have with the story is the Buffy being mad at Willow for pushing her towards Angel, to keep her away from Xander idea. Which makes absolutely no sense. For one thing it was actually Willow that suggested to Xander that he ask Buffy out, before they knew how in love with Angel, Buffy already was.
However, the worst part in this chapter was you comparing Willow not trusting Buffy to her parents putting her in the insane asylum and her friends at Hemry turning their backs on her after she became the Slayer. This just kinda pissed me off. You're comparing the trust between two people that have known each other for less than 6 months, to the trust between a parent and their child that they raised for 15 years, or the trust between friends that have known each other for several years. And you're saying that the "broken" trust between two people that have known each other less than 6 months is worse than "broken" trust between the other two. I'm sorry but that opinion is just f'ed up. Especially when the actions that you're basing it on is contradicted by the show your story is based on. I mean heck after finding out Angel was a vampire, it was Willow that was pointing out the negatives to Buffy about a relationship between the two, and Buffy didn't care. So I'm sorry but that idea that Willow pushed them together makes no sense.

Edit: I never said that Willow was anti-Angel. I did say that she pointed out some of the problems with Buffy being with Angel. And remember in that episode in the second quote that you picked out it was Buffy that changed the topic to talking about Angel, Willow was trying to help her study math, and after the bit you picked out Buffy thanked Willow for pointing out the negatives of being with Angel. Also in episode three it was Willow that encouraged Xander to ask Buffy out after he gave Buffy the bracelet, hardly the reaction of someone actively trying to keep them apart. You're quotes are pretty much examples of a girl talking with her first girlfriend trying to support what her new friend wants. Buffy was enthralled with Angel from the very first, before Willow and Xander had even met Angel, Buffy was already looking at him in a romantic romance way. You have to remember that Buffy is Willow's first real girlfriend, the last thing she's going to want to do is do anything that might ruin it, and when Buffy is making it pretty bluntly clear that she wants a relationship with Angel, she's not going to be openly antagonistic to that relationship.
For your view of that attitude it should be Willow bringing up Angel and not saying anything potentially negative about the relationship. But its Buffy that's the one that's bringing him up, and even then Willow does point out potential problems with the relationship, such as his living forever, and the lack of children. It's true she's not as openly antagonistic towards Angel as Xander is, but not being openly antagonistic is different that pushing Buffy and Angel together.
In regards to the other part. A friend that you made 5 months ago, not trusting you shouldn't be worse than your parents turning against you and throwing in a psyche ward after 15-16 years.
Comments from author:
Willow's comments after finding out Angel is a vampire:

Episode: Angel

Giles: (sits and looks through the diary) Angelus leaves Ireland, uh,
wreaks havoc in, in Europe for, uh, several decades, and then, um, about
eighty years ago, the most curious thing happens. He, he comes to, uh,
to America, um, shuns other vampires, and, and lives alone. There's,
there's no, no record of him hunting here.

Willow: So he *is* a good vampire! I mean, on a scale of one to ten,
ten being someone who's killing and maiming every night, and one being
someone who's... not.

Willow: Okay, so here's something I gotta know. When Angel kissed
you... I mean before he turned into... how was it?

Buffy: (smiles) Unbelievable!

Willow: Wow! And it is kinda novel how he'll stay young and handsome
forever, although you'll still get wrinkly and die, and... Oh, and what
about the children? (Buffy looks at her) I'll be quiet now.

Buffy: No, it's okay. I need to hear this. I need to get over him so I

Willow: So that you can... (makes a stabbing gesture)

Buffy: Like Xander said, I'm the Slayer, and he's a... vampire. God, I
can't! He's never done anything to hurt me... (collects herself) Okay,
no, I need to stop thinking about this. Okay, let's give another half an
hour and maybe something will sink in. And then I'm going home for some
major moping.

Buffy: No? I invited him into my home. Even after I knew who he was,
what he was, and I didn't do anything about it... 'cause I had feelings
for him, because I cared about him.

Willow: If you care about somebody you care about them. You can't
change that by...

Buffy: ...killing them? Maybe not. But I think it's a start. (starts to

Willow: So, no word from Angel?

Buffy: Nah. It's weird, though. In his way I feel like he's still
watching me.

Willow: Well, in a way he sort of is. In the way of that he's right
over there.

Buffy looks over where Willow is looking and sees Angel. She briefly
looks back at Willow and then heads over to him.

Xander: I don't need to watch because I'm not threatened. Just gonna
look this way.

He and Willow sit at a table with him facing away from Buffy and Angel.
Willow watches as Buffy makes her way over to Angel. The crowd is slow
dancing to "I'll remember you", by Sophie Zelmani.

Where in those quotes from the show do you get that Willow is anti-Angel? Xander did point out negatives but Willow doesn't seem to have based on the above.

Also, I never said Willow pushed them together but rather encouraged Buffy with anyone but Xander.

As for the time factor you put forth, some relationships can progress faster than others so it is a toss up as to how things will affect a situation. My scenario is no less plausable than someone elses'.

I do appreciate you expressing your views but like the heads of state or companies, advice may be listened to but doesn't have to be followed when making the final decision.
Review By [jormunguard] • Date [12 Dec 14] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Monday Morning" from MaxPayne
Excellent chapter! This will be interesting seeing how Buffy,Cordelia, and Willow interact with each other...and Xander!
Review By [MaxPayne] • Date [11 Dec 14] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Monday Morning" from raxadian
Well. I guess the physical and changes will continue?
Review By [raxadian] • Date [10 Dec 14] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Preliminary Plans" from Gideon
At least the Laura voices in their heads will be rational and impartial! It will help a lot to have a 2nd opinion that knows all their thoughts when they want it. I agrees that Laura should wait to be asked though!
Review By [Gideon] • Date [10 Aug 14] • Rating [8 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Preliminary Plans" from Avantre
Enjoying the story. Just a note that you kept alternating between using dashes and underscores for the three names (including alternating between one and the other on the same name) during that psychic conversation.

One thing to note with technology is that most of it requires a hundred other things to be already invented before you can re-create it, and knowing how to build those hundred things becomes a real stretch of the suspension-of-disbelief. If I went back to the middle ages, for example, I could build a simple hang-glider but it probably wouldn't work very well because there was no way to source Mylar/other lightweight fabrics, aluminium or other materials light enough to build it properly. Or if I knew all the steps and components to making a modern computer I'd still be out of luck if I went back two hundred years, as the factories would probably take decades of retooling to be able to make the components. Heck, if I took a current generation smartphone back to thirty years ago I wouldn't be able to build it without setting up processing machines that didn't exist back then for things like building the touchscreen.

So, what I mean by all of that is that whatever technology you choose to upgrade should, to be believable, be something that on first glance would be something simple enough that they'd know the formula/blueprint off the top of their heads, and of simple enough construction that it's believable that modern day components could be used to substitute for something that was originally designed to run off of science so advanced that it may as well be as magic to us as some of our stuff would be to people a century ago.
Comments from author:
Sorry about the names thing. I thought I got them all changed to dashes.

I am aware that making anything that doesn't have a good basis in the current time would be virtually impossible but remember, Luornu was a permanent member of the Legion's Espionage Squad and would have acquired skills at improvising needed items from readily available resources. Think "The Anarchist's Cookbook". Plus not all worlds had equal levels of technological advancement even in the 30th Century so her survival training would include cultures that were even more primitive than late 20th Century Earth. At least that's my take on things. Besides even if it is only a small improvement to cell phone technology related to how she upgrades StarTACs for Scooby use, it could still bring in a goodly sum in liscencing fees.
Review By [Avantre] • Date [5 Aug 14] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Preliminary Plans" from raxadian
Well, it may take time, but I hope they eventually patch things up.
Review By [raxadian] • Date [4 Aug 14] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Sunday Evening" from raxadian
Since Buffy feels so bad, she may jump to have sex with Angel earlier than in the show.
Review By [raxadian] • Date [4 Aug 14] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Contemplations" from raxadian
Well, I wonder what Willow did that made Buffy so angry.
Review By [raxadian] • Date [4 Aug 14] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Going Separate Ways" from raxadian
Well, that communication device would at least save some cash on calls.
Review By [raxadian] • Date [4 Aug 14] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Introducing Laura Clark" from raxadian
Okay, so they share powers and magic then.
Review By [raxadian] • Date [4 Aug 14] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Yes, magic is real" from raxadian
Poor Xander, I hope those memories end fading eventually.
Review By [raxadian] • Date [4 Aug 14] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "The Search" from raxadian
Well, her reaction is gonna be interesting.
Review By [raxadian] • Date [4 Aug 14] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "We've Got Problems" from raxadian
That toon never aired around here, but at least Xander did not dress up as Gilligan...
Comments from author:
Review By [raxadian] • Date [4 Aug 14] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Wondering" from raxadian
Well, I wonder what the merged girl is dreaming about.
Review By [raxadian] • Date [4 Aug 14] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Speculation" from raxadian
The three will probably have shared dreams if they sleep without merging.
Review By [raxadian] • Date [4 Aug 14] • Not Rated
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