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Review of chapter "Chapter Eleven." from WhippingDawn
Review:
Just finished. That one is the best to date. Maybe because of the links to the BuffyVerse.

I LOVE the interactions between Rona and "Weasely".

“as if I’d let you lay one finger on my pretty black hide!”

"Having arrived at the hut in the swamp where his own slayer had imprisoned him" HA! Itsy Bitsy Lil' Rona manhandling Wesley, precious! My only regret is that you did not narrate it!

I have a feeling that Wesley will turn up again later, and I can't wait. Rona too, I like her!

Finally, the interaction between B, F and the Marines, how they got from "army pukes" to "Sergeant" and "Corporal". I LOVE this series!

Moving on after lunch to "The Girl in the Cellar"...
Comments from author:
Wesley does turn up in another story, unfortunately after that he sort of fades away. Originally I had intended to write some stuff about Wes but it sorta got forgotten about.

Rona is a character I keep meaning to write about but never seem to get around to...pity.

'Girl in the Cellar', a fairly dark story based on a disturbing episode of NCIS.

Cheers,
D.
Review By [WhippingDawn] • Date [14 May 13] • Rating [10 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Chapter Eleven." from SilverWave
Review:
heh remember the film.

It was a long time ago.

Different world.
Comments from author:
My gods was it!

Cheers,
D.
Review By [SilverWave] • Date [9 Dec 12] • Rating [10 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Chapter Eleven." from Oxnate
Review:
Never seen the movie. I hope it wasn't based on real events because I don't want to imagine a real marine unit that F'ed up.
Comments from author:
The action sequences at the end of 'Heartbreak Ridge were in fact based loosely on real events.

Any military unit can get as 'F'ed' up as Recon Platoon was at the start of the filmn/fic, all it takes is poor leadership.

Heartbreak Ridge is a typical 'Military Training' story. There's loads of them around if you look. Take a bunch of complete w**kers and turn them into the lean mean fighting machine that saves the day. The story's as old as there's been a military, I'm sure the ancient Greeks or the Romans had a similar stories.

Cheers,
D.
Review By [Oxnate] • Date [30 Oct 12] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter Three." from Clockwork
Review:
I'm becoming a big fan of this story in general (started on 'Foothold.' last evening, and have spent the afternoon working my way through the earlier stories in the series), and your handle on Faith, Willow, and Riley. I'm a bit concerned about Wesley, he seems kind of out of character for a post-Ange: the Series appearance, though I can suspend disbelief and go with Faith's change in history altering Wesley's personal development.

One thing I haven't seen anyone mention yet though, since the characters are American, and this story is in North Carolina: calling a black 'coloured' is actually a massive racial slur and could get you thrown out of the bar.
Comments from author:
Thank-you.

Just to clarify about Wesley. In this reality, Wes was never Faith's Watcher, he never went to LA and worked with Angel, in fact I'd say he never came to the US until after Chosen! He improves as time goes by and I'm planning his own little spin-off story if I can firm up on a plot line for him.

Coloured/Black, it's because I'm British and don't know what the acceptable American terminology is. If I was in a bar and wanted to point Rona out to a friend I'd say something like, "...the pretty girl in the red top," or whatever.

Actually if it was Wes who said 'coloured' to him it would be the more acceptable choice between 'Black' and Coloured'.

Its one of the pitfalls of writing a different culture.

Anyway, thanks again hope you enjoy the other stories.

D.
Review By [Clockwork] • Date [2 Jul 12] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter Eleven." from eriktheviking
Review:
A cracking good insertion of Faith and Mrs B into the Marines.
Review By [eriktheviking] • Date [28 Jun 12] • Rating [10 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Chapter Eleven." from maxthehobbit
Review:
You did a good job integrating Faith and 'B' into Heartbreak Ridge and for once she doesn't get shot up. It will be interesting to see if Faith stays with 'B' or if they go their separate ways. I would be very unusual if they stayed together very long, assignments seem to scatter everyone you know and you rarely ever get stationed with someone you know from a previous assignment.
Another great story.
Comments from author:
Thanks, this was a difficult story to do because of the time difference between the film and when I was writing about and the fact they had to work with Marines. However I know the MOD makes screw ups so I suspected that the Pentagon did/does the same!

Faith and Mrs B? I'll keep you guessing on that one. I home to be posting the next Faih in the Army story (The Girl in the Cellar) in the next three or four weeks.

Cheers,
D.
Review By [maxthehobbit] • Date [4 Feb 12] • Rating [10 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Chapter Eleven." from Inoeth
Review:
An amusing story. I'm not hugely enthusiastic about what you've done to Wesley- he grew out of his annoying wussy phase fairly quickly after joining Angel Investigations so i'm not a huge fan of how you're characterizing him. Other than that, I've quite enjoyed what you've written so far and i'd love it if you would have Faith join an SG team. Also- as you've been having time fly by- you can always do what happened in RL and 'repeal Don't Ask Don't Tell' so that Faith can be open with her relationship with 'B'. in any case, i'm looking forward to your next installment of this series.
Comments from author:
Thank-you.

In the Faith in the Army universe Wesley never got to work with Angel. However, in this reality he will grow and 'improve' as time goes by.

Initially Wes was only put in for a bit of fun but as time past I decided to do something else with him. He will drop in and out of future stories in this series as the muse takes me.

I have loads of ideas for this series one of which is a SG adventure (again SG1 characters drop in and out of fics as appropriate) but I do intend to write a specific SG adventure for Faith.

The only problem is finding the time and the will to write them!

Cheers,
D.
Review By [Inoeth] • Date [24 Jan 12] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter Eleven." from hidra
Review:
I truly hope you continue this series.

Back in the SPQR is good, but i can't wait to see what's next for staff sgt Lehane.
Comments from author:
There is another story waiting to be posted (once I've made some alterations to the plot) and another about half finished. I'm giving S/Sgt Lehane a little rest for the time being as I don't want to get 'bored' with her! I expect something will be posted in the new year.

Cheers,
D.
Review By [hidra] • Date [2 Dec 11] • Rating [9 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Chapter One" from kangel
Review:
Love the whole series. Please continue it.
Comments from author:
Thank-you. There will be more from S/Sgt Lehane in the near future.

Cheers,
D.
Review By [kangel] • Date [2 Nov 11] • Rating [10 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Chapter Eleven." from (Current Donor)vladt
Review:
very enjoyable read, thank you.
Comments from author:
Thank-you and thank-you for the one-hundredth review for this story.

DaveT.
Review By [(Current Donor)vladt] • Date [24 Oct 11] • Rating [9 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Chapter Eleven." from slmncpm
Review:
this was really a great story. *smiles* thank you for sharing it with us. *hands you scones*
Comments from author:
Thank-you.
Dave.
Review By [slmncpm] • Date [15 Oct 11] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter Eleven." from PATM
Review:
Yes, that telephone gag wouldn't work when the movie was made but it would now. I saw it as more comic relief back then. The Cuban commander side of the story added some S.L.A. Marshall flavor to the story. I thought the Weasley thing was mishandled by the council (which you did), an obvious hint for more badness for Faith. Enjoyed the story, well done.
Comments from author:
Thank-you! Its seems I'm going to have to do more with Wes by popular demand!

Cheers,
Dave.
Review By [PATM] • Date [10 Oct 11] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter Eleven." from Mabr
Review:
Liked the story. Heartbreak Ridge is an older movie so you had some trouble adapting it to the modern army. The Faith Brenda relationship is interesting. Given Brenda's history she has had as hard a life as Faith and can certainly identify with her. Even so I thought Faith would have related best with a front line soldier. Brenda can fight is she has to, but she joined to be in a logistics outfit. Personally I thought Faith would have ended up with one of the older sergeants.

I am surprised Buffy is not keeping close tabs on Faith. I understand giving Faith a second chance but its simply prudent to keep a close eye on her.

I am not sure I understand what you did with Wesley. Its clear his history is not the same as canon. He probably never served as Faith's watcher.

Even so its like he never learned anything in the intervening years. He might be worse than he was in the early seasons of Buffy. Wesley was never a natural combat type watcher, but he was inexperienced and he did learn eventually. This Wesley doesn't seem to have learned a thing though he must have been a watcher for several years. What could he have done for Riley not to explain the situation to him, not to mention Riley and Rona setting him up for a fall like that? Anyway Wesley is capable of becoming pretty bad-ass and unfortunately this rather cavalier dismissal may end up biting everyone in the ass.
Comments from author:
Going back to 'It makes a fella...' in that story, yes Buffy is keeping an eye on Faith through her now husband Riley. However Faith dropped off the radar when she was posted to the Marines. Luckly Faith was spotted by Rona and Riley was able to get back on the case and make sure everything was above board.

Wesley...oh dear (sighs heavily). This is what happens when you start a series from a story that was supposed to be a one-off. Normally I have a back story worked out if I'm going AU. This time I didn't and Wes has sorta come off badly! I'm going to say (although this might get changed) that Wes was never a field water and he spent most of his time at Watcher HQ in the UK (but not on the day it was blown up!). He only came out from the book shelves because of the watcher shortage. As a result he never came into contact with strong characters like Buffy and Faith so he's still somewhat full of himself.

In the future Wes will become more like the Wes we saw in Ats.

Cheers,
Dave.
Review By [Mabr] • Date [10 Oct 11] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter Eleven." from Kremer
Review:
Great story, and nice ending.
(Didn't understand your version of Wesley, though - even in canon he discovered the real world and matured/grew up in the months following getting kicked out of Sunnydale. Here, even years after that he's remained a more or less an old-school Council-rhetoric dweeb.)

I did like that you changed the lighthouse standoff from the movie. Even though they 'adapted' a real-life situation for the film, it still seemed too "Hollywood" to ring true. Having Faith out there doing her usual supersoldier thing was a good alternative for this version.

Speaking of which, I doubt she'll get away with trying to fade back into Army rank-and-file obscurity. I would bet that Highway would insist that Lt. Ring dutifully describe the full account of Faith's actions in defeating the Cubans for his After Action Report.

I see another medal (or at least cluster) for Faith in the near future. And more Pentagon brass headaches. Maybe that will get her 'kicked' into the SGC. (And where she goes, I'm sure she'll demand Mrs. B has to go with her.)
Comments from author:
Okay, I see I'm going to have to let slip what happened that's different between the two realities. The one we saw on TV and the one we have here. Probably a good thing too as I really need to puzzle it out.

This is what happens when you start a series because a one off story is popular enough to get you to write a series. I'm sorta making up the back story as I go along...a bit like Joss!

Time to sit down and have a think while not screwing with what I've already written!

Also like you say I think Faith is starting to skate on thin ice, eventually even the army will notice that there's something odd about her!

Cheers,
Dave.
Review By [Kremer] • Date [10 Oct 11] • Rating [9 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Chapter Eleven." from RafMereC
Review:
Huraahhh!

Outstanding ending.

Liked the bit with Wesley.

Wonder where he'll show up next... Will he bedevil the fair maidens when he does?

Raf
Comments from author:
You can bet on it!

Cheers,
Dave.
Review By [RafMereC] • Date [9 Oct 11] • Rating [10 out of 10]
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