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Hulk-o-ween

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Review of chapter "It Ain't Easy Being Green" from serenityselena
Review:
a very interesting story... and amusing too....
hope to read more ^_^
Review By [serenityselena] • Date [30 Aug 12] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "It Ain't Easy Being Green" from superfan
Review:
Don't you just HATE when an author doesn't update their work in ages...

You know what is hated more? An Author that hands out unfinished work. Both this and Iron Willow suffer from a case of 'lets publish'.

Basically, you need read your stuff at least twice before publishing, also for god sake, STRETCH YOUR SCENES! & read books, or at the very least, read Fics by GOOD authors.

Like Keira marcos, yes, most of her work is slash, but quality is quality.

WARNING, if you read her work, you will likely get emotionally involve, that will make you want to get her to write what you want. Curb that. She gets enough ass-holes trying to tell her what to do, don't join them. Yes, she IS that good.

Another thing you can do is look for articles about writing. Keira has some, livejournal has some more.
Comments from author:
Superfan, I have my reasons for not updating this work in a while. Mostly,my muse for those is not being forthcoming with ideas for those two stories. As you can see my current story is just things out of the way that are bugging me and getting in the way of further chapters for these two endeavours.
Review By [superfan] • Date [6 Oct 11] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Slayers and She Hulks" from trongod
Review:
Great until you pulled a Deadpool with the fourth wall thing, messed it up for me after that. 'Course, a little warning might have prevented that, but it seemed... forced? Something like that anyway.
Review By [trongod] • Date [1 Oct 11] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "It Ain't Easy Being Green" from jormunguard
Review:
If you plan on continuing with this story I strongly suggest getting a beta reader or at least someone to proof read it before you post. Unfortunately, that wont solve one of the biggest problems with the story but I think thats the fault of the challenge itself rather than yours, it simply doesn't make much sense that the spell would ignore the rest of Xander's costume to make him into She-Hulk when the rest of the costume was the Hulk. Also I would suggest that you make a decision whether you want this to be a comedic story or a serious one. As it is you have absurd comedic bits next to rather serious parts that really ruin what could be a good scene, such as the comment about why Willows blouse didn't rip in a serious scene about what happened to them.
Review By [jormunguard] • Date [1 Oct 11] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "It Ain't Easy Being Green" from (Moderator)JoeHundredaire
Review:
Chapter two shows all the same flaws as chapter one, while chapter three... when you get multiple readers asking the same question, you don't tell them "Go read an external file". You think to yourself "Gee, maybe what I've written doesn't make sense. I should look at that." And then you fix it.

Honestly, if you're not going to take the effort to post legible stories on this site - and I have been lenient until this point - there's Rule 17 that at least this story can be swept up for. And that's not a subjective matter. Correct English is objective. Do you follow the rules? It's a yes or no question. If the answer is no - and the answer in these three chapters is no - you can be quarantined. Consider this your last warning before I do so: get a beta. Before you post more. Get a beta, run these three chapters through them, edit the chapters to replace the text with the improvements, and then consider moving forward.
Review By [(Moderator)JoeHundredaire] • Date [30 Sep 11] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Slayers and She Hulks" from Dragonbaita
Review:
That was GOOD!
Comments from author:
Glad you like my humble attempts at writing.
Review By [Dragonbaita] • Date [30 Sep 11] • Rating [10 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Slayers and She Hulks" from wargear
Review:
wtf?
Comments from author:
It's related to the challenge.
Review By [wargear] • Date [30 Sep 11] • Rating [1 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Slayers and She Hulks" from Bobboky
Review:
ok, that was odd
Comments from author:
It's related to the challenge.
Review By [Bobboky] • Date [30 Sep 11] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Slayers and She Hulks" from SamDragon
Review:
Confusing,Who is the other She Hulk or does it matter?
Comments from author:
It's related to the challenge.
Review By [SamDragon] • Date [29 Sep 11] • Rating [9 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Slayers and She Hulks" from AlecMcDowell
Review:
i don't understand; why was xander a woman during the spell? you said he was regular hulk in chapter one...
Comments from author:
It's related to the challenge.
Review By [AlecMcDowell] • Date [29 Sep 11] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter One" from JoeDineen
Review:
OK I saw that the challenge I though it was interesting and when I saw you had written the response I nearly did not bother to read the story but I read the reviews so, JoeHundredaire has not given up on you yet.
So I had another look, he is right. In fact the first two paragraphs could be expanded out into a full chapter of say 600 words or so that answers the following questions;

Why are they deciding the costumes on a coin toss? why does Xander have to go along when he cannot afford the costume? For that matter, why does anyone think that there should have been no way for Buffy to win the coin toss?

Try it, no less than 600 words and all the discussion of costume choice and method of deciding costume in dialog.

Then do another 600 words or so on the shopping, the preparing the costumes and starting out on Halloween.
Review By [JoeDineen] • Date [29 Sep 11] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter One" from SamDragon
Review:
First She Hulk that I can remember.This should help Willow with her shyness problem. :)
Review By [SamDragon] • Date [28 Sep 11] • Rating [10 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Chapter One" from (Moderator)JoeHundredaire
Review:
This is honestly your worst story to date. In the space of one scene, there are two different persons at work (first and third), two different verb tenses, several different and unrelated sequences of events, you still need to look up the concept of 'descriptive imagery' and get some practice with it... and you really need to grasp that writing is not a sprint. If you want to post stuff quickly, you need to become a better writer and be able to churn out quality story quickly. Because blasting out little spurts of wince-worthy crap doesn't win you any friends. Except for... well, looking at the reviews, once you remove the people who are critical of you? All you've got left are the same people who say the same exact things to every single chapter of every one of my fics.
Comments from author:
Harsh, but thank you for the constructive criticism. No, this isn't going to be removed because both the positive and the negative make you what you are.
Review By [(Moderator)JoeHundredaire] • Date [28 Sep 11] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter One" from Bobboky
Review:
cool
Review By [Bobboky] • Date [28 Sep 11] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter One" from DarthPayne
Review:
This, should be interesting. :)
Review By [DarthPayne] • Date [27 Sep 11] • Not Rated
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