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And the World Wept

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Review of chapter "Chapter One" from AnFan
Sad. But not angsty. So... possibly I would enjoy the next chapter also.

Some thoughts. I think that in order to continue this, you have to focus on the last four words of the last sentence of the story. It wouldn't do to focus only on Xanders fall, or even what he becomes. It would seem more in line with the story if you could show others than the Powers realizing the loss that had occurred. I'm sure everyone knows that even in their stupidity that the Scooby gang would go to great lengths to "Save" Xander. However if they were to be shown through interactions with Selene, Alex, and any you choose to surround them with, that "Xander" is truly gone for good and the rise of Selene cannot be stopped simply because she will not put herself in opposition to anyone that would have the power to stop her plans, you could get some real pathos out of this story. I think readers would read simply if they have any anger feelings for what happens in Buffy canon to Xander. Even if they don't like where it leads him. He will be alive, and thriving while those who hurt him are struck down with grief for their callousness. A dark outcome, but... in some ways a balancing of scales.

What would really be fantastic for this story would be if Alex (he's no longer Xander, and not really a "Savior" of Man), still held grudges towards demons and evil. To show that this outcome would improve the lot of humans hunted by evil (not the average person, and not even good for those who had success despite the dark world of the Buffyverse) would also make a wonderful plot point for this story. It would be very hard to attack the morals of Selene and Alex if they brought low evil and improved the lot of the downtrodden. Even if they did nothing whatsoever to rise up the level of mankind in any way, and in fact when becoming influential having their inaction in the lifting up of mankind being a real hindrance to life in general (before she takes over everything simply because she reaches her goal of godhood). Basically they would be bringing low the supernatural evil "competition" that human evil has. Or whichever group or policy and attitude Selene embraces to wait till those who know her and oppose her and are capable of fighting her are gone.

If the Powers "give up", or move their focus on the balance they try to strive for to a point where they have options for affecting things, you could just see the change from anger in the Scooby gang at the Powers to become puzzlement because they no longer interfere, to wondering why they seem to have abandoned the Slayer and other Champions that they had been developing (like Angel). The voices of the Powers would go silent, visions to those of their chosen would become more and more rare or... maybe hopeless. Evil would still be fought, Selene wouldn't want the world destroyed, she would use Alex's knowledge and contacts to point the Heros that would be useful towards the big problems like LA in the Angel canon...

Anyway. I'm being long winded and blathering on. This is an interesting story, and "obviously" it's sparked ideas, which is always good. In fact I've raised the Rating simply because of all the ideas that came to me while I was typing this :) I'll have to read more of your stories. You're a good writer!
Review By [AnFan] • Date [12 May 12] • Rating [10 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Chapter One" from Sandi
Scary. Very scary. Everyone has a point where they will do any thing for love and acceptance.
Shrug. At least he'll be happy. I almost feel sorry for Buffy and crew.
Review By [Sandi] • Date [21 Nov 11] • Rating [10 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Chapter One" from DarkFaerieYumi
Wow. That was awesome. great job.
Review By [DarkFaerieYumi] • Date [24 Oct 11] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter One" from Mechconstrictor
Interesting story. It would be nice to see where you could take this.
Review By [Mechconstrictor] • Date [20 Oct 11] • Rating [10 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Chapter One" from JediKnight
Interesting job, I just wish did the story a little differently.
Comments from author:
How so?
Review By [JediKnight] • Date [17 Oct 11] • Rating [9 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Chapter One" from diaconsecond
Actually it's pretty impressive, I would like to see you writing more about this idea, maybe a close up to the consequences of this decisions
Review By [diaconsecond] • Date [16 Oct 11] • Rating [10 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Chapter One" from MaxPayne
The Black Queen gets her Black Knight...great fic.
Review By [MaxPayne] • Date [16 Oct 11] • Rating [9 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Chapter One" from TAO
Okay...this was cool.

Xander was definitely in-character (from the season 3-4 era I would guess).

And then there is Selene...the psionic vampire...congratulations, Semet, I think you're the first here to use that particular Marvel character in a fic.

Then again, she always was a formidable character, she just wasn't the favorite of the fans and the artists who spent most of their time lusting after a certain White Queen.

And now...the negative part of this review...the part where I get ugly and threaten to send the mafia plot bunnies after you because you have two other fics that need to be finished....*cough*White Knight in Bayville*cough*Back to the Blacks*cough*
Comments from author:
lol I have updated them both rather recently. Granted it was a couple weeks ago but I just figured that you didn't review. If you haven't read the latest chapters yet I think you'd like them ^^. And as to this latest little story of mine... Well, I can honestly say that it was an experience writing a sort of Xander/Selene pairing... I had to listen to some of the most depressing music and watch some dark movies to get into the mood for it.

None the less I'm glad you enjoyed it and here's to hoping you like the latest chapters of 'Back to the Blacks' and 'A White Knight in Bayville'. Hoping to see you next time ~Semet
Review By [TAO] • Date [16 Oct 11] • Rating [9 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Chapter One" from kayron
It sounds like a Glory or Illyria type hellgod got itself an enforcer when the 'good guys' screwed up. I would love to see some type of follow-up story where the Scoobies find out just what they helped to create by rejecting Xander.
Review By [kayron] • Date [16 Oct 11] • Rating [8 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Chapter One" from msdarque
Interesting, sad, but great and I liked reading it!
Congrats and kudos!
Review By [msdarque] • Date [16 Oct 11] • Rating [10 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Chapter One" from brokenangel
Well that certainly different. Haven't seen any stories with the Black Queen on this site. A follow up chapter dealing with the consequences would be nice. The whole Scooby gang won't be quite as well off I imagine cause Xander was the glue that kept the group going (morale support, took the punches meant for others, his ideas lead to the destruction of several big bads, and generally just lifting the atmosphere of doom and gloom).
Comments from author:
I might make a follow up at some point but not right now because I'm honestly not very sure about just how I would go about it. Anyway, thanks I'm glad you liked it ^^!
Review By [brokenangel] • Date [16 Oct 11] • Rating [10 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Chapter One" from zTiamaTz
Great story, I don't recall ever seeing a crossover using Selene. It's nice to see you didn't go with the old stand-by's like Emma or Raven. I would definitely like to see a followup to this at some point, seeing what exactly Selene's plans are for the X-Men or others.
Review By [zTiamaTz] • Date [16 Oct 11] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter One" from Orchamus
Truly priceless.
Review By [Orchamus] • Date [16 Oct 11] • Rating [10 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Chapter One" from (Past Donor)Peaslums
Not sure of who Selene actually is, but it seems well thought out and put together pretty decently. Glad that it wasn't the overdone, "They kicked me out, I'm gonna go be bad" cliche. I thank you for that.

My only suggestion is to cut back on the italics. You have so many emphasized words that they lose their impact.
Comments from author:
Thank you ^^! and You're very welcome ^^! And while I try not to be too be cliche sometimes I can't really help it lol. But I'm glad you didn't think so. Here's to hoping I see you around the next bend!

P.S. And yes, I know that sometimes I can get a bit crazy with the punctuation. lol (Wait would you use the term 'punctuation' in this instance? ... *shrugs* You know what I mean so oh well.)
Review By [(Past Donor)Peaslums] • Date [16 Oct 11] • Rating [8 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Chapter One" from RafMereC
Like you said Dark, but oh so appropriate for that period of his life.

Great stroty.

Comments from author:
*chuckle* stroty... It may just be me just waking up but that's funny. Thanks for the review ^^.
Review By [RafMereC] • Date [16 Oct 11] • Rating [9 out of 10]
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