I'm enjoying the story and actually like to see Molly taken down a peg or two. One error though; you said in the story that Dawn is 17 but Giles said she was 16 at the end of chapter 4.
Review By [debio] • Date [31 Jan 12] • Rating [10 out of 10]
Good chapter. So Molly will or will not be a hindrance to teaching the kids how to fight the right way? Also with Dawn being who/what she is, she should be able to do BOTH types of magic. Mayhap better at one than the other?
Review By [Eureka] • Date [26 Jan 12] • Rating [10 out of 10]
Someone should tell Dawn that when meeting a new group, even if you think they're good guys, telling them the one way to kill her (beheading) is maybe not a great idea. "I'm immortal!" -probably needed that to show her credentials, so to speak, to show she wasn't "just a muggle"... but gee, wouldn't it be enough to say "We're very hard to kill" without going into the specifics? Next up, it'd be fun to see if Dawn could use a wand. She does have that inner energy core/thing going for her...
Comments from author:
I had her say that because I've noticed that immortals are very confident in their abilities and Hermione would've just told everybody anyway lol
I'm still not sure if I want Dawn to use a wand yet...I prefer her with Wiccan magic but as I said, I'm still debating between the two lol
Hope u like the next chapter! :)
Review By [AllenPitt] • Date [28 Nov 11] • Not Rated
Good start. I'm glad Buffy isn't going to let Dawn go on her own, it would be too much after being separated for a year already. I don't know what the slayers would do at Hogwarts, Buffy and Faith are too old to be students (and not magical) but they don't really have anything to add as teachers, maybe self defense or unarmed combat? If Dawn's magic is compatible then she could be a student, but she would start years behind her age mates. I can't wait to see how you will solve these problems and integrate them into the wizarding world!
Comments from author:
Hey thanks! :)
Yeah I figured that it would be a bit much to separate them. Integrating them was a bit difficult, considering I was trying to be a different from others stories and how they've joined the two worlds together.
Hopefully you like the next chapter
Review By [Gideon] • Date [27 Nov 11] • Rating [7 out of 10]
It seems the Scoobies still have issues with each other. That's to be expected with what they all have been through together. Giles and the others have made mistakes regarding Buffy's leadership among other things but Buffy is not without blame either. She has made her share of mistakes that her friends have paid the price for ( not killing Angelus when she had the chance there by allowing Jenny the love of Giles's life to be killed) to name one. On another note, Harry has every right to know what is going on and what he has to do to prepare for those challenges ahead of him. That is part of the reason so many people suffered because of secrets and information the short sighted and frankly incompetent Headmaster refused to share with Harry. While he does care for Harry in his own way, Albus is always looking out for the bigger picture while overlooking the smaller details. To him the ends always justifies the means no matter who may end up paying the cost. What Harry has always needed to do is take charge of his own life and stop letting others control him. The Scoobies can help him in this regard and to prove to Harry he is more then just a weapon. Looking forward to the next chapter, until then, take care.
Comments from author:
For the sake of the story I didn't just 'fix' everything between the Scoobies. They do still have their problems with each other and not everything can be fixed with just an apology. Youa re right, Buffy does have her faults aswell and they are going to be addressed when the Scoobies have it out with each other but that's still a few chapters away lol. I've started to address Harry's right to know what is going on because although he is only young, the prophecy and all that is happening is dependent on him. Dawn was sheltered by Buffy and Harry is sheltered by Dumbledore - again, this will be dealt with in later chapters. As from the previous chapter, Dumbledore is starting to change his ways; Harry was allowed at the introduction meeting only at the insistence of the visiting Scoobies. I am trying to right the characters best to their originals (except for Dawn) which is why Harry doesn't just immediately defy everyone.
Thanks for the review :)
Review By [Knightmare] • Date [27 Nov 11] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Pointy Sticks and Broomsticks" from Knightmare
Review:
Please update! This is a cool story.
Comments from author:
Haha the update is coming very soon! Just tweaking alittle bits in it :)
Review By [Knightmare] • Date [25 Nov 11] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Pointy Sticks and Broomsticks" from IllusionsofBliss
Review:
Please don't apologise for how long it takes to post, take your time to get it right and update when it suits you :)
This will be interesting to find out more about Dawn and how you've made her immortal. But there are just a few things to watch for - one part there was "how many times have you faced Voldemort?" and the reply was "ever since my first year" which doesn't quite make sense, maybe "almost every year since my first year" would fit better. One other thing I noticed was you said Harry first defeated Voldemort 15 years ago but that Harry is only 15. He was a year old when his parents died, so don't forget to take that into account, meaning he should be 16.
Anyway, hope that was useful and I'm looking forward to reading more :)
Comments from author:
Hey thanks for the little notes they were helpful! :) I was in a bit of a rush to finish the chapter and I missed some little things lol they'll be updated in the next chapter.