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Review of chapter "Chapter One" from Alkeni
Angel can't breathe, but he can still flipping TALK because there's a DEMON animating his body with MAGIC

Yeesh! If angel COULD breathe, doncha think he would've jumped at the chance to mouth-to-mouth her?

Interesting so far...let's see
Review By [Alkeni] • Date [31 Jan 12] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter One" from BlueEyedJedi
Merry Christmas, and to all a good life.
Review By [BlueEyedJedi] • Date [25 Dec 11] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Silly Ending." from JediKnight
Well you just gave into preassure and ruined a good fanfic
Comments from author:
That's part of the reason for the silly ending - so it all gets thrown into the bin and I can sweep up and (after a suitable time) start again, making sure that I've learned my lesson, and reminding me about the lessons, some which I seem to find hard to learn, apparently (not necessarily those being what my detractors wanted me to learn, mind you).

Nobody walked away away from this without mud on their faces. My detractors, for all that they apparently felt I was destroying anything that was good about the fic, didn't want to step in and DO anything that would fix it in their eyes, even when invited. If things are so wrong, and you are pointing out specific things that you see as wrong, well, this is a writing site. Whether or not you have contributed yet, you have the badge of an author. When invited, and since you care, you should man up and try. Unless all you really want to do it bitch at people without consequence from the safety of the peanut gallery.

I screwed up in a much more fundamental way, more than once. I forgot that, though I write for my own reasons, the people who read what I come up with do so for enjoyment. I very rarely give that to them when I am arguing. Because I've seen that about myself, I've put out a general rule for myself - except for spelling/grammar and "fact" checks, I don't change things while I'm writing fics due to reviews. It never works well. Worry about things afterwards, yes. But the best outcome of me listening to people harping on whether something should go in this direction or not is that I get pulled in more than one direction by people wanting different things, and as the song says, "You can't please everyone." I let myself be pulled in this manner, and the result was a bad, though not horrible, chapter with fourth-wall breaking, and comments in the story, where they should have been here.

Separately, I failed to respond to something that I should have. Looking back at the transcripts, while he wasn't anyone that I'd want my daughter to date, Angel was not channelling Angelus. I should have backtracked and given better reasons for his actions, and I didn't, mostly for reasons that aren't germane to the discussion at this point.

I also didn't make clear an aspect of Halloween that I thought was at least established fanon, as canon did not have any individual costumes (strange how having to pay to show a Wolverine costume means that it's right off the show!): If you're playing a generic character, such as a ghost/noblewoman/soldier, you keep your own face, as what does the spell care which soldier you are? And for those crying that Xander wore a particular soldier's uniform, let me remind you that it was one from his family - do you really think that they can field-strip an M-16 without a lot of booze?

But if you're playing a specific person, such as Joan of Arc or Spider-man, the spell pulls the "spirit" in, and changes you physically to make you become that character. That includes your face. As I said, this isn't canon, because the producers didn't have an individual costume on Halloween; all they had was "nameless monster," or "nameless noblewoman." They did have Willow do Joan of Arc, but that was next year, when it couldn't be tested.

As I said, I failed to make that obvious enough. My bad.

Anyway, so the story failed, as a story. I'll leave it up as a lesson.
Review By [JediKnight] • Date [6 Dec 11] • Rating [1 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Silly Ending." from LanceAvalon
Aside from my utter contempt of the random Gender change fic. There are so many things wrong with this on the purely clinical level that it isn't worth the time to get into them. It's obvious from your little 4th wall rant you don't want real reviews. Just crap from sycophants saying 'awesome' and 'write moer' among other inane shit. So I leave you to it with the one this fic deserves.
Comments from author:
Naw, this one doesn't deserve a one, it deserves a zero. I will say that the genderflip isn't random. I'll also add that reviews from authors who have not written anything don't carry very much weight.
Review By [LanceAvalon] • Date [4 Dec 11] • Rating [1 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Chapter 4" from VillageOrchid
I'm enjoying how you are adapting the plotline.
Review By [VillageOrchid] • Date [4 Dec 11] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter 3" from VillageOrchid
Cordelia's being a great friend in this.
Review By [VillageOrchid] • Date [4 Dec 11] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter 2" from VillageOrchid
Oops. Poor Xander.
Comments from author:
And poor Willow. Sucks to be on top of a cow-fart bomb.
Review By [VillageOrchid] • Date [4 Dec 11] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Silly Ending." from Sithicus
I'm sorry, but I'm going to have to critique the hell out of this entire fiasco, for the simple fact that it is an utter waste of potential. I can abide certain things, but I refuse to allow anyone to waste their potential, especially if they are at all trying to be serious in any field/medium of writing, be it published works or fanfiction.

I can not see how it is anyone really ever enjoyed this thing, it's a convoluted mess of paragraphs that are far too large for their own good. And the dialogue is not even remotely interesting. Grammatically speaking it looks like it could have used a bit of editing work as well. Quite frankly the story idea, while adhering to certain needs placed down by the challenger, failed miserably in keeping any sense of logic.

Many of your detractors whom you called out on in a rather, IMO, immature manner, were rather correct in saying that this story suffered from scenes and dialogue that were rushed and not even properly paced. You can't just have characters who are transformed by magic decide out of the blue to change their names and then not tell us any of the details as to WHY they chose the names that they did. I coulde care less if you wanted to call them both Jennifer and add Xandra and Willa to the pot, the fact of the matter is if you don't take the time to lead the reader into these changes with proper characterisation and explanation then you are simply taking a half-arsed approach to the job of writing a story.

I can understand if you have difficulty in seeing why it is needed, but in all honesty the fact of the matter is this. Your writing in this story was limited, rushed and poorly planned out, the pacing was an utter mess and there was no real driving motivation behind it. Even if you're going to write something for yourself because you like the idea, you should never just slap a bunch of paragraphs together and call it a story. That isn't what someone who finds any sort of enjoyment in the written word would ever do, not unless they were trying to make a crackfic or being a complete troll.

Breaking the fourth wall to rant at your readers who were criticizing your work was also somewhat immature and quite frankly smacks of an inability to properly handle criticisms of your work. If someone badmouths my stories I don't simply ignore them, especially if they have a legitimate complaint. I would never take their criticsms at face value, I'd do some research, investigate the rules of grammar or storytelling if they're legitimately trying to help. If they're just saying the story sucks, well that's their problem. But if they're telling you that your story is suffering because there isn't enough written material there to support anything (and it is true.) then you should rethink why you're trying to write the challenge response in the first place.

I was interested in what you had to write originally, the story concept is interesting, but quite frankly it's also a bit of a white elephant in that it is difficult to write it very well. Your attempt was in my mind, mediocre at best, and marred by your utter lack of respect for genuine criticisms from fellow authors who were trying to help you better yourself in the written word. If you want to respond to a challenge for fun, then great, but don't disrespect your own writing potential so much as to ignore good advice when it's given to you in logical and rational fashion.

Also, this ending just prooves that you never really took this thing seriously enough. Writing for yourself is sometimes a bad idea, if all you're doing is writing for yourself than you're never going to grow as an author. Because you will always like what you do no matter how bad it is, oh sure there are some authors out there who claim to be tortured souls and think they can do better, but in all honesty we're all just going to be content with what we've written and never bother trying to change it. But if we write for the audience, if we're trying to write for someone else, well that too can lead to disaster.

Unless we have the happy medium we'll always be trying to please that one naysayer who isn't going to like the story no matter what. So don't just write for yourself, write for your audience too, be willing to make compromises if it will make your story telling better, but don't just accept everything the critics say about things.

Anyway, these are my thoughts on the matter, the good and the bad. I found this story had a promising start, but you sacrificed the potential of it for the sake of getting to the good part, and if you just want to write the good part and omit all the boring scenes, which in theatre would be called Transition scenes, then you're never going to improve and you're always going to be butting heads with people trying to give you the advice that was given to them by some other critic.
Comments from author:
*shrugs* You're right, on the ending. I took four times the time it deserved on it.
Review By [Sithicus] • Date [4 Dec 11] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Silly Ending." from Gideon
I always knew cows were dangerous!
It seems that Ethan has forgotten all about Buffy. I don't think she will be happy!
Comments from author:
No, but there will still be the vamps for her and Giles (if he ever wakes up...).
Review By [Gideon] • Date [4 Dec 11] • Rating [8 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Silly Ending." from CrystalBlaze
I'm holding you to your word. Let them seethe a while, then do it your way a second time.

And to those of you who set this off? *blows a big wet raspberry* Next time, if you don't like it, don't read it. That's what I do.
Review By [CrystalBlaze] • Date [4 Dec 11] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Who Brought the Icky factor?" from borgrabbit
This story made me think of the youtube phenomenon "Half life: Full Life Consequences", but with better grammar, spelling and plot(?). I laugh while I break wind in your general direction.
Review By [borgrabbit] • Date [28 Nov 11] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Who Brought the Icky factor?" from SamDragon
What was that with chapter 7.8 is doing ok again.
Review By [SamDragon] • Date [23 Nov 11] • Rating [8 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Who Brought the Icky factor?" from CrystalBlaze
I don't know (or care) about the bitching, Deac, your story amused and interested me. Really, now, don't fall prey to this fanon furor, or I'll have to just start making KOTTF jokes on everybody who's throwing a hissy fit. Write what you LIKE, within the terms of the website!

(K.O.T.T.F. are the Knights of the True Fiancee, a incoherent and nonsensical bunch of whiners that bitched about any and all romances for one Ranma Saotome aside from Akane Tendo in fanfiction about a decade or so ago. The really fun part was the sheer fanon and character deformation they always brought into any arguments as they refused to actually understand who they were militant about. So, pretty much the precursors to the Tea Party.)
Comments from author:
At this point, I honestly want to see what those who so denigrated this fic as I wrote it can do with it. So far, the answer to that has been, "nothing," but perhaps they have been going through their betas or the like.

The general idea of this still interests me; however, I'm thinking of letting it ferment, then restarting it, without all of the restrictions of the original challenge, as that was fairly certain to unbalance the whole shebang. After Thanksgiving, I'll make a definitive decision.
Review By [CrystalBlaze] • Date [21 Nov 11] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Who Brought the Icky factor?" from Gideon
Not bad! You managed to get in a bit more of the next episode as plot but still change it a fair bit from what we know. I think since Angel has been the bad one he is the one who deserves a spanking! I hope Xan and Wil give it to him :)
Review By [Gideon] • Date [21 Nov 11] • Rating [7 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Chapter One" from RafMereC
Please continue with the story, where you left off.
Don't let a few bad reviews derail a good story.

Review By [RafMereC] • Date [21 Nov 11] • Rating [9 out of 10]
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