He found his master in a small village, he was an odd man, an American. He trained him how to fight how to be a hero. His name was -- Ra's Algoul --. He stayed with him for several years learning what he could from him.
It's Ra's al Ghul rather than Ra's Algoul.
Review By [djhardim] • Date [17 Dec 12] • Not Rated
Oh Helena, for a girl with daddy issues, you certainly are gonna fall for man cut from the same clothe as your father. Interesting times ahead, especially considering that Xander kills, that is something that Helena's mentor Barbara (Batgirl/Oracle) Gordon, discourages killing.
Review By [BlueEyedJedi] • Date [24 Nov 11] • Not Rated
Okay, this fic sounds interesting for a couple of reasons. First: Xander is killing in a batman crossover. That's a big 'no' with the usual batman group. Second it does not seem like you're setting Xander as a Bruce Wayne/Batman copy. Sure some things are similar but not everything.
Two snags though. One, there's a line that goes 'an. condoned factory'. I think you started with abandoned went for condemned and ended up with that. Please fix line. Second, the fight scene at the end was rushed and a little cliche. I'm not saying it was bad but if you're going to write action scenes like that try spacing out the sentences. You'd be surprised how a few taps with the enter bar can change the mood of a scene.
Hope to see you write more and good luck.
Review By [souldriven] • Date [24 Nov 11] • Not Rated
jcon