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Buffy Summers Dimension Traveler

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Review of chapter "The Beginning of the journey!" from DemonicAngelC
While I agree that this short chapter, or teaser, is rough it still has so much potential. This story could be either great or horrible, it all depends on what you choose to do with it. I'm looking forward to seeing what you do with this rough yet good beginning.

As for how you could improve it. I found that it seemed to jump around a bit after Buffy decides to help Rose, it might help if you described the event in a clearer fashion after this point. It might also help to add in a bit of dialog, such as what Bad Wolf told Buffy about the item she was given.
Review By [DemonicAngelC] • Date [1 Dec 11] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "The Beginning of the journey!" from Muadzin
Interesting idea. But it's kinda lacking in execution. A very interesting story in itself gets condensed into a paragraph, making you want for something that's not going to come.

Also, shouldn't she be a time traveler now? As per the Cybermen episodes traveling between dimensions should be next to impossible because of the demise of Gallifrey.
Review By [Muadzin] • Date [1 Dec 11] • Not Rated
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