Review of chapter "The Beginning of Joy" from Gartabro
I agree with the other reviewer, if you revise this, it can become a great story. You should start at the Halloween episode and go one step at a time from there, showing us how things change with the pass of time. For example, the full consequences of the costumes that each wore shouldn't be revealed so soon, they looked a bit rushed. For example, how Gandalf basically explains the consequences for Giles... I don't know, there's something that just doesn't feel right about that explanation, it feels a bit forced.
Also, what happened with the bad guys costume's? Did someone use them? Because if someone picked Sephiroth's... well, his will is *really* strong, I doubt he would actually leave after the spell is finished (ooohhh, the trouble he would cause, XD). And other question that I think you didn't answer in the fic: what happened with Ethan?
In my opinion, the fun about this kind of fics is to see how much you can change the first seasons trough the costume that each Scooby chooses to wear. By the way, great job in not making Xander pick the Sephiroth's costume, we have too many of those, :)
Review By [Gartabro
] • Date [13 Dec 11] • Rating [6 out of 10]
Review of chapter "The Beginning of Joy" from Selias
Aww, come on! Not even one "Got it memorized?" from Xander?
Review By [Selias
] • Date [13 Dec 11] • Rating [7 out of 10]
Review of chapter "The Beginning of Joy" from ArjaiH
No bad comments, but...The bare bones of this story are beautiful, however, they require flesh! Fill out the bare bones, elongate the story. Add to it, subtraction from it is not possible. Add the action, and joy to it you obviously saw in it to begin with. Give Rupert, the Scoobies and they future Scoobies the story they and you deserve!!!!
This could be a very solid TEN! and a story worthy of recommendations!
Review By [ArjaiH
] • Date [13 Dec 11] • Rating [8 out of 10]