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For the Motherland

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Review of chapter "Natasha Redux" from Zeviz
Review:
I liked this story too, but the mangled Russian was kind of painful to read, given that I actually know Russian. Anyway, it was an interesting story, and I'll keep reading this series.

PS The main character didn't sound Mary Suish to me: you said that she had been one of the best before "retirement", so it makes sense that she can do everything she did. (The escape from inescapable prison was the only point where I wondered "if it was so easy, why hasn't it been done before?", but other than that, I wouldn't worry about the protagonist's power level.)
Comments from author:
Strictly speaking there is no 'Russian' in this story. They're all speaking 'Varan'. Any differences are due to the dimensional changes.
Review By [Zeviz] • Date [29 Apr 14] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Journey Proposed" from Zeviz
Review:
IIRC, the phrase in the original fairy tale is "Izbushka, izbushka, povernis' ko mne peredom, a k lesu zadom". ("Hut, hut, turn to me [your] front and to the forest [your] back.") It's been quite a while since I've heard/read fairy tales, but I think I remember it correctly.
Review By [Zeviz] • Date [28 Apr 14] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Natasha Redux" from DieselDriver
Review:
Ok, to answer one of the other reviews, obviously she managed to get her leg back or to get a good prosthesis other wise she wouldn't have been able to trudge. Seems obvious to me. On the other hand, to answer another reviewer it seems obvious also that since in the redux she made sure no one found her and everything was in cash and no one who profited by it wanted to do anything to upset the apple cart and slay the goose that lays the golden eggs or coins if that be the case. Simple enough, I suppose, for Baba Yaga to arrange for her to keep the bag.
Review By [DieselDriver] • Date [24 Nov 13] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Plannage Coming Together" from DieselDriver
Review:
Damn! It's bad having a seriously annoyed office building chasing you. :-)
Review By [DieselDriver] • Date [24 Nov 13] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Some more pictures and a bit on Telekinesis" from DieselDriver
Review:
So if Marcus can pick up and move up to 200,000 pounds, can he pick up something he is inside of? For instance. If he's in a car can he move it forward at a speed worth worrying about, how about a small plane? Although he wouldn't need the wings if he was lifting it. But can he convert that "lift" into "push"? 200,000 pounds of thrust gets you up into the amount of thrust that a 747 has so if he could push that hard and maintain it for long enough he could fly a rather large plane across country. Could he lift a container he's in, into space?
Review By [DieselDriver] • Date [24 Nov 13] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Escape" from DieselDriver
Review:
"exhaling she slid between the car and the wall"

Heh heh. (dirty old man here...) At which point I'm betting she wished she had smaller teats.
Review By [DieselDriver] • Date [23 Nov 13] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Interrogation" from DieselDriver
Review:
See, this is what I mean about wrong vice missing words:

"Red Fleet had proscribed as mandatory for Troopers physical fitness"

proscribed is prohibited, prescribed is mandatory.
Review By [DieselDriver] • Date [23 Nov 13] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Break Out" from DieselDriver
Review:
Well, that was worth a couple of guffaws and a belly laugh! Texas = Heaven/Hell, depending on your political persuasion.
Review By [DieselDriver] • Date [23 Nov 13] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "The Kommissariat" from DieselDriver
Review:
When someone mentions shadows, I almost always think of the third season of Babylon 5.
Review By [DieselDriver] • Date [23 Nov 13] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Vanishing Act" from DieselDriver
Review:
Audacity is a good tactic when it works. Of course anything that works is good. Anything stupid that works isn't stupid.
Review By [DieselDriver] • Date [23 Nov 13] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Introduction" from DieselDriver
Review:
Oh goodie! Sneaking into a war zone, not quite a bright thing to do if you can get out of it. But of course, I'm sure they can't.
Review By [DieselDriver] • Date [23 Nov 13] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Some Pictures" from DieselDriver
Review:
Never heard of this "comic" before. Still don't know what the name is. Not sure it would be much good in comparison to your story anyway. I did look up a video that another author, Diane Castle, used in one of her crossovers and it was terrible in comparison to what she wrote.

Always, ALWAYS, see the movie or original first!!!
Review By [DieselDriver] • Date [23 Nov 13] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "The Lake" from DieselDriver
Review:
A friend of mine visited Russia several times and learned a bit of the language but something that has always bugged me is their habit of using so many syllables to say anything and adding extra stuff to the names. Russian must be almost as weird as American English.
Review By [DieselDriver] • Date [23 Nov 13] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "The Crossing" from DieselDriver
Review:
It would be really cool if Natasha could teach Buffy to use TK. Hmm. Can Natasha use TK to lift herself and emulate flying?
Review By [DieselDriver] • Date [23 Nov 13] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Expedition Begins" from DieselDriver
Review:
Hey, a smart way to give your engine time to warm up to it's job. Fire it up, make tea then go. Heh, I do that a little, start the engine, put on my seatbelt, change to my driving glasses and go...or in the case of my diesel pickup, fire it up and do all those things then fiddle with the radio for a bit. Or if I'm towing back it up and do the hookups while the engine warms.

It amazes me that car engines last as long as they do these days the way people neglect them. In an arctic or sub arctic zone it's all the more important to do a proper warm up or at the very least, give it time for the oil to circulate to the whole engine.

I've noticed a few places, not just in this chapter, of where you have a correctly spelled word but it's the wrong word. In the sentence about them getting their food you used "the feel" instead of "the feed". Other instances of the word "of" instead of whatever word you intended. Don't remember specifically but these could use a bit of proof reading. Like the other one I read though, this is really interesting and leading me in a direction I never have read about before.

Used up my recommendation for this month on your other story but I will try to remember for December if it stays this good.
Review By [DieselDriver] • Date [23 Nov 13] • Not Rated
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