Review of chapter "Chapter Eleven" from Lydia
Well this story was... iffy... some aspects of it I liked others I disliked, when I first noticed the story I was expecting to read about Xander and his friends ending on Atlantis, instead it was Xander and a bunch of characters I really didn't care about and mostly didn't really know about that ends up on Atlantis, I personally didn't like that as much.
The other thing is the Trust, first if the Trust knew about the Supernatural, they would also know that removing the Council would doom Earth to annihilation, so while kidnapping one or two individuals would have made a bit of sense, supposedly being ready to kidnap or kill everybody? No, doesn't make sense.
Also the Watcher's Council was around for centuries, WAY before the Trust, most of Western Civilization and most of the World's Major Governments would have known about it and what it was about, so why exactly would they have sided with the Trust instead of the organization they know is necessary to safeguard the World? Completely senseless.
Added to that it seem the Trust doesn't seem to have all that much of a understanding of the Supernatural, instead seeing Witches & Slayers as 'parahuman' so, if they didn't know much about the Supernatural, how come the Witches couldn't use a bit of scrying / divination magic and find them in a few minutes, its not like they would have proper protection against magic, which mean Willow should have been able to find those involved VERY fast, so the premise of the story is... bad... Also Willow could destroy the World, she could have crumble their homes atop their heads if she felt pissed, so... again... I fail to really see the threat and how the Trust is a viable threat to them, the premise that the Council was SOOO vulnerable and could be wiped out so easily by the Trust is foolish.
Ultimately the Trust was a bunch of rich pricks that wanted to grow richer, they didn't see to be sooo competent and while they had some reach they didn't seem to have that much of a reach, sure they had a some people in their pockets, but they didn't control the World's Leaders, just a few elements in the Governments and Military, so yea... the idea of Xander & Co ending up in Atlantis is nice, the premise of why he was forced to go there is poor.
Review By [Lydia
] • Date [1 Dec 14] • Rating [6 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Chapter Eleven" from Obsidian
ok Good story but that's it? Just going to end it there? That's a another story right there at the end waiting to be written. I hope you will write it.
Review By [Obsidian
] • Date [1 Mar 14] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter Eleven" from gaulty
Good story, bye
Review By [gaulty
] • Date [24 Jun 13] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter Eleven" from Netchka
Good story. I love it. I like anything Xander centered. :-) can't wait for the sequel to come.
Review By [Netchka
] • Date [5 Sep 12] • Rating [10 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Chapter Eleven" from serenityselena
oh dear... what a dreadful situation... this war will not be easy to win...
hopefully they will manage to take down the Trust soon...
Review By [serenityselena
] • Date [31 Aug 12] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter One" from SimulatedSoul
Stopped reading during the planning part of the first chapter, you just threw in way way waaaaay too many crossovers that had no reason to be there. That's usually an eye rolling red flag for me.
Review By [SimulatedSoul
] • Date [10 Aug 12] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter Eleven" from Bill
Very well done! So much better than what happened in cannon.
Review By [Bill
] • Date [4 Aug 12] • Rating [10 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Chapter Eleven" from Cdog
This was a really interesting story. I look forward to seeing what comes next in the sequel.
Review By [Cdog
] • Date [19 Jun 12] • Rating [10 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Chapter Eleven" from lorwen
great story! :)
Review By [lorwen
] • Date [17 May 12] • Rating [10 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Chapter Eleven" from Mordare
Geeat story. I am really looking forward to the sequel.
Review By [Mordare
] • Date [17 May 12] • Rating [10 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Chapter Eleven" from Keshkreature
Very cool. I wasn't familiar with a few of the fandoms, but I enjoyed all of it.
Review By [Keshkreature
] • Date [14 May 12] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter Eleven" from Godogma
If this was indeed a challenge, you should have ignored the stupider parts of it. I want the time I spent reading this fic back; the Trust and the NID before them were the dumbest parts of Stargate along with Kinsey and mixing it in with the rest really didn't mesh well either. The crossovers didn't have time to come into their own before the fic was flung off the deep end and you completely ignored the facts that as of Season 7's end Willow can cast spells that effect the whole world - she mysteriously can't find a group of idiots and neutralize them?
Even if the Slayers can't kill people - a fact I can't recall as being established canon that doesn't mean Xander or Giles or Willow or whomever couldn't or wouldn't handle the issue. If you're looking to improve your writing first you must consider everything on the table and measure how it would play out. Giles is a strong spellcaster in and of himself and it was of a particularly nasty bent beforehand.
FFS Andrew Wells is a caster. Then again, Xander is also a spellcaster; no real explanation for him setting spellbooks on fire by reading them without that. But the show needed its token normal guy and the show was being written up to marginalize every male character involved to somehow "empower" the females; though how you can do that by putting everyone else down I dunno.
Comments from author:
I'm sorry you didn't enjoy the fic. When I'm writing to a challenge, I don't choose which parts to answer and which to ignore; otherwise, in my opinion, it's not really a challenge answer, just a fic that happens to resemble the challenge a little.
The challenge specified that Willow should not be an all powerful wicca able to change reality by wriggling her nose, so I was careful to follow it. In my head canon, Willow was only able to affect all the Potentials because she was using the Scythe, which was already connected to them. Granted I didn't specify that in the fic, and it's only my personal canon, but it's what I follow. Apart from that, though, Willow canically dislikes doing major magic and, especially after Darth Willow, hates using magic to hurt people. And, as will be revealed in the sequel, the Trust are hiding in different bases and have their own magic users shielding them. Willow's stronger than any one other magic user, but pile enough on and I think even she's going to have trouble.
And, of course, the biggest reason; Willow neutralises the threat, no more fic. There's no drama or tension if Willow can stop everything before it even gets started.
There is a line in Gingerbread where Buffy refers to 'that "Slayers don't kill humans" rule' which makes me think it is an actual rule. If not, then it's at least Buffy's morality and since the Baby Slayers were trained by her and her friends, I imagine they'd have been taught that rule too. Again, my head canon, you don't have to agree. Faith did start going off the deep end after killing a human, and I've read that that was a response from her Slayer side, something built in to make sure Slayers don't just start killing people. I can't remember where I read that, though it might have been a Joss interview.
And I'm not sure what to say about the show marginalizing guys; my favourite characters are always the guys and I've never thought they were being put down. That's probably an interpretation thing, though.
Again, I'm sorry you didn't enjoy, but I guess you'll know not to read my stuff in the future.
Review By [Godogma
] • Date [12 May 12] • Rating [1 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Chapter Eleven" from tchizek
Wow, talk about a cliffhanger ending.
I hope you are planning a sequel!
Thanks for a great story.
Review By [tchizek
] • Date [11 May 12] • Rating [9 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Chapter Eleven" from DCG
Your abuse of the trust as a plot device in this fic is laughably bad. mixing bad plot devices from cannon buff and cannon sgc does not mean your bad plot device works.
Some creative originality goes a long way.
Comments from author:
It's a challenge response. The Trust were the bad guys in the challenge.
Some research, and knowing how to spell 'canon', goes a long way.
Review By [DCG
] • Date [9 May 12] • Rating [2 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Chapter Eleven" from theraceskong
I really enjoyed this. I'm glad that Xander and the others came back from Atlantis. It didn't feel right for them to hide from the trust. Any chance of any other member of the other PR teams showing up in the sequel?
Comments from author:
It's in the plan! Anyone particular you'd like to see?
Review By [theraceskong
] • Date [9 May 12] • Not Rated