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Review of chapter "Chapter Two" from DieselDriver
Review:
Ok, I've read all the stories up to here and this is the second time you've refered to time walker. I looked that up on fanfiction.net and there are six stories with that name but NONE of them are yours. Unless you posted it under a different name. I don't want to wade through 6 stories to read the one I need to more fully understand this one. I'll end up doing what I did before which is just read this one and hope for the best. I like your writing but unlike one of the posters I make it a point to NOT READ any stories that aren't listed as complete. I get way to much of that at crystalhall.org. And they only post one chapter a weekend. The writing is as good, in most cases, as yours but I'm sick and tired of not getting endings. I like reading your stories a LOT!
Comments from author:
Oh, it's not picking my story up? Weird. Well, lucky for you, since the time I wrote this story, I actually posted Time Walker up on this site, too. So just click on my name and you'll find it.

I completely understand your not reading any story that's incomplete. I write my stories as a unit, and it makes sense to read them as a unit. I did used to post them all at once, but soon discovered that if I spread out the posts to be one per day, I could use people's comments to help alter the rest of the story to be better.

Rest assured, you'll be getting endings. I've already written the end of the story I'm posting, now, and the story after that is currently on draft number 3-ish.

I'm glad you like my writing. I'm getting better with every story I write.

Thank you for your comment.
Review By [DieselDriver] • Date [28 Jan 13] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter Nine" from Muadzin
Review:
I've not put in a review of your stories yet because, well, I'm lame I guess. Sorry for that. They just keep on coming. I don't know how you manage to keep up this remorseless tempo. I wish I maintain a momentum like this for my own stories. I like how you keep on alternating between different Doctors, showing us what its like to meet the Doctor out of his timeline. I wouldn't mind seeing a few of his younger versions though. I'm surprised Nine hasn't shown up yet. And if it were possible to make a request, how about Two?

That being said I do think the remorseless tempo is starting to catch up with you as this one kinda went out with a whimpering instead of a bang. I felt there was more of a story to be hand other then Doctor wants to kill Dawn to save the universe, Dawn gets kidnapped, Doctor saves Dawn, Doctor realizes she is a person after all, Doctor spares Dawn. Also you've mentioned taking writing lessons, please don't let your writing become stiffled by all sorts of writing conventions and rules. There's too much boring predictable writing out there where you can predict what will happen as soon as you've seen the teaser. Rules are meant to be broken and some of the best writing and music was created by people who had no clue what they were doing.

Finally, I wouldn't mind if you never told us what happened between the Doctor and Elizabeth. Sometimes mysteries work better if they remain mysteries.

Any way, cheers for another story and may your pen flow freely!
Review By [Muadzin] • Date [23 Mar 12] • Rating [7 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Chapter Nine" from (Past Donor)FireDragon
Review:
Question...did Rose come after Elizabeth? Did Rose remind the Dr of Elizabeth and if so is that why he fell for her?
Comments from author:
Yep! Rose = Doctor Nine, Elizabeth = Doctor Eight.
Review By [(Past Donor)FireDragon] • Date [23 Mar 12] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter Nine" from (Recent Donor)DrakePendragon
Review:
Fantastic! Brilliant! You're stories are cool. (enter any other positive Doctor catch phases). I loved it. Great Ending.
Review By [(Recent Donor)DrakePendragon] • Date [23 Mar 12] • Rating [10 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Chapter Nine" from CageFire
Review:
Yet another great story. Just one after another. Keep up the awesome work. :)
Review By [CageFire] • Date [22 Mar 12] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter Nine" from wswords
Review:
Your stories are criminally under reviewed/recommended. You are a much better writer than half the writers who got on to the top stories lists. To bad the fact you actually finish stories means that you will never get the recognition you deserve on the site.
Comments from author:
Oh, so that's why I never get reviewed! Thanks, I was actually a little confused.

Thank you so much for your support!
Review By [wswords] • Date [22 Mar 12] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter Seven" from (Current Donor)vidicon
Review:
I forget, is it Tuesday? Also Buffy seems a trifle more dense than usual, is the spell interfering with her reasoning?

Thanks for writing
Comments from author:
Spell removed a lot of information she needed to work it all out. The other thing is that -- and I didn't do a good job of explaining this; I thought about it, but I couldn't work out how to put it in -- Buffy honestly doesn't think that the Doctor *would* kill her family members. The idea honestly never occurs to her (hence the trouble figuring out how to put it in -- I do mention this, in another story which is currently terrible, but oh well).

And then there's one clue which I shoved in and didn't make a big deal of -- which was probably a mistake. When the Doctor is going off to "kill" whoever it is, he's walking *away* from Buffy's house. Which is not something he'd do, if he was trying to kill Dawn, who's in the house.

And Buffy probably has a number of memories of her telling the older Doctor about Dawn, which aren't actually true. But if the Doctor knew about Dawn before, why kill her only now? (Not knowing she's only just come into existence.)

Plus, Buffy is really, really sure it's Riley.
Review By [(Current Donor)vidicon] • Date [21 Mar 12] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter Seven" from SnakeFox
Review:
This whole killing two thirds of the population of the Earth thing keeps coming up... Haven't read your Time Walker story because I never saw Avatar, but... I mean, are two thirds of the population kids? Are really 4.6 billion out of 7 billion children? It just seems so... weird.

And I'm sorry, but, the Doctor doesn't use guns. I mean, ever. Just... ever. Shooting his granddaughter in the face while she watched? Not buying it, sorry.

Final thought, when the Doctor and Donna got free of the basement at the end of the previous chapter, and Donna was determined to save Dawn, why didn't she just blurt it out to Buffy? It's not like the Doctor could've stopped her.
Comments from author:
Well, of course you don't buy it, because, as usual, the Doctor isn't actually telling you stuff straight out! Doesn't matter if you've seen Avatar -- Avatar sucks, anyways, and I explain the things you'll need to know in the story. If nothing else, just read Chapter 10, which is a flashback to the Time War and explains all of it terribly well.

I thought a lot about the shouting it out to her thing. It's why I tried to put such a big emphasis on the "if no one knows" thing. If no one knows, then no one knows enough to unleash the energy. Besides which, Donna doesn't really know Buffy very well -- no knowing how she would react. I just thought, in this situation, that Donna would simply grab Dawn and run.
Review By [SnakeFox] • Date [21 Mar 12] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter Five" from CageFire
Review:
Great new chapters. I'm kinda looking forward to later chapters though.
Review By [CageFire] • Date [20 Mar 12] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter Three" from (Past Donor)FireDragon
Review:
Hello Dr! He is being so thick! Obviously if the future him met Dawn before and got along with her then he wasn't trying to kill Dawn then so he should realize he doesn't need to kill Dawn now. Ok, I get the concept is a little confusing being non linear and all. but he being non linear should have caught it. But he is so close to the situation that I guess he missed it. Plus so shocked it being the first time he met Dawn and all. As for the killing all the innocent kids, I totally have faith that it was one of those things he didn't do but couldn't stop and takes responsibility for. hmm Am I totally off the mark there? Maybe there is something I mis figured not being multi linear myself.
Comments from author:
Well, you are missing one thing, and I hate to point it out, because you're so clearly passionate about this, and I like passion! But, um... future him *hasn't* met Dawn in the past. Because Dawn didn't exist in the past. The only reason that they all think he has is because the Monks implanted those memories inside their heads.

Future him might possibly meet her in her future, but not in her past.

As for the kids he killed... yeah, that's a Time Walker reference. Don't worry -- it'll come up again in this story, too.

There is also the case that it doesn't really matter if the Doctor gets along with Dawn or not -- she's still insanely dangerous. But, of course, we'll delve into the Doctor's psychology as this continues.
Review By [(Past Donor)FireDragon] • Date [19 Mar 12] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter Three" from Jazzibear
Review:
Wow! This is fierce. And frightening. And it’s very very good

I am totally hooked.

Keep at it, please!
Comments from author:
Oh, thank you! I loved that scene.
Review By [Jazzibear] • Date [18 Mar 12] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter Two" from AllenPitt
Review:
Sounds like he can't let Dawn live. Ouchy.
Review By [AllenPitt] • Date [18 Mar 12] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter Two" from Innogen
Review:
Oh, longer segments, definitely!
Comments from author:
Thanks! I'll lean more towards 2,000 words per section, then, instead of 1,000.
Review By [Innogen] • Date [17 Mar 12] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter Two" from ClumsyElf
Review:
Oh, god that sucks! But totally saw that coming, you know with Dawn being the Key and all. Great chapter!!! Hope to See more Soon!!!

SARAH
Review By [ClumsyElf] • Date [17 Mar 12] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter Two" from (Current Donor)vidicon
Review:
This is not good. This, as a matter of fact, is bad beyond belief.

As for the scenes, I think it works well this way. I tend to go for natural cut off points, but I've got betas who tell me where to cut sometimes.

Thanks for writing
Review By [(Current Donor)vidicon] • Date [17 Mar 12] • Not Rated
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