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Review of chapter "Chapter Ten" from draconis
Review:
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Sincerely hope you plan to come back to and ultimately complete this story.

I've re-read and bumped it up to a '9' rating. For others who may not have read this, it improves significantly and rapidly once they go through the gate for the first time.
Review By [draconis] • Date [12 Aug 14] • Rating [9 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Chapter Ten" from BrownFinderth
Review:
Poor Dawn! She just wants to go home and all these obstacles keep getting in her way!!
Review By [BrownFinderth] • Date [18 Jun 12] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter Ten" from draconis
Review:
More well written chapters. Thank you very much.

Hmmm. Dawn with the Nox, and toss Illyria into the mix. Fun times ahead?
Comments from author:
I'm glad that you're enjoying the story. Fun times are the plan.
Review By [draconis] • Date [4 Jun 12] • Rating [8 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Chapter Ten" from burmafrdnow
Review:
I had hoped that the cartoonish Kinsey and NID would not be part of this story.

That was always the biggest joke of SG-1. No one would ever be able to get away with even a fraction of what Kinsey did; and no agency could exist for long as the NID did. Ignoring common sense and reality is part of hollywood. I wish you had done better.
Comments from author:
You had hoped that I would ignore Stargate canon? I did say in the first chapter that I would be following Stargate canon, except that the Stargate ended up in the Watcher's Council's hands, rather than the American military's grasp. The NID are part of Stargate canon and, frankly, no less believable than the Watcher's Council, the Initiative or Wolfram and Hart from the Buffyverse (all of which have already made appearances in this story). Of course, in real life, none of these organizations could exist, but that's what separates fiction from real life.

If it makes you feel any better, Kinsey's lawyers are from W&H. Considering that other clients of W&H get away with things like long term serial killing, mass murder and, in Senator Bruckner's case, apparently trying to win a Presidential bid through a combination of brainwashing, sorcery and funding from hostile governments, I think that Kinsey getting away with providing political cover for the NID seems wholly believable within the Buffyverse. Of course, so far, all that the NID is getting away with is stealing a Stargate from Antarctica (and they have not even gotten away with that yet), so maybe you should wait a while longer before deciding whether my portrayal of the NID will be too cartoonish to stomach.
Review By [burmafrdnow] • Date [1 Jun 12] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter Ten" from MarcusSLazarus
Review:
While I hope that you clear up where Angel is sooner rather than later (Although I admit that I'm biased; he was always my favourite character), the implications of Wolfram & Hart working with Kinsey and the NID would be worrying even without the implication that they're going to be looking for Hathor...

Still, maybe we'll get lucky and it'll turn out that the Partners are underestimating the Goa'uld as well; after all, they might be highly powerful demons, but maybe the concept of aliens is as elusive to them as it would have been to the rest of Earth as a whole back when the Goa'uld first arrived on Earth.
Comments from author:
Angel won't be showing up for a few chapters yet, although, as he's one of my favourite characters too, expect him to eventually play an interesting role in the story. Of course, considering that this takes place after the end of Angel Season 5 without a time reversal, don't expect him to be terribly cheery at first (friends dead, shanshu signed away (so far as he knows), abandoned by Scoobies (from his perspective) and on the run from W&H, which was back to seeming business as usual within a few weeks of his heroic last stand). I would not expect that Angel would be in a terribly healthy frame of mind after all these events.

As for the myriad villains, they should worry you. There are two bright spots, though: to some extent, they're working at cross purposes, and, while they may cause the Scoobies trouble, the Watcher's Council is not currently the main focus of any of the villains introduced in this chapter. As for the Senior Partners, well, I wouldn't underestimate them, although you might expect that those further down the totem pole (like Lilah and Nathan) are somewhat less well-informed.
Review By [MarcusSLazarus] • Date [1 Jun 12] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter Ten" from CageFire
Review:
Sigh, looks like canon is going straight out the window. I'll have to see if I like the new course of events, although it looks like all sorts of trouble is going to happen. Bad enough they had to deal with the goa'uld, now they've got illyria and wolfram and hart, not to mention the NID. Sigh, this is just going to be trouble.
Comments from author:
Well, I guess that depends what you mean by canon. Illyria and Wolfram and Hart are parts of the Buffyverse canon who would unquestionably know about the Stargate, so, once things got up and running, they'd definitely get involved somehow. If you mean the Stargate canon, well, Ra's still alive and there's no year long break where they won't be using the Stargate, so things are diverging from there. As far as trouble goes, there will be plenty of that, although there are also plenty of good guys around to keep evil in check. Any good story needs some antagonists, and this chapter was mostly about them. Next chapter, we'll be back to the forces of good though, so hopefully you'll find it a bit more encouraging.
Review By [CageFire] • Date [1 Jun 12] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter Ten" from RevDorothyL
Review:
Dawn among the Nox, Spike and Illyria on their way to Antarctica, and W&H alerting the NID to the existence of the Chappa'ai and (it seems) looking to free Hathor! Can't wait to see what comes next!
Comments from author:
I'm glad that you liked the chapter, and I did say that the second arc was beginning this chapter, so, as you point out, hints about the future abound. Next chapter, however, we'll be back to the good guys, who are considerably less well-informed. They're also kind of still dealing with the last arc's bad guy.

I'm glad that you liked the chapter. See you next time.
Review By [RevDorothyL] • Date [1 Jun 12] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter Nine" from MBB
Review:
It's nice to read a serous BTVS-SG1 Xover, after having stated that way on this site many years ago now. It is also impressive to see you still found an original way to do it after already many hundreds of stories.

Your characterisations are interesting and believable, and your story differers enough to be original but stay close enough to remember the episode.
I liked the way you had Dawn discribe the inside of the stargate.

While I'm generally fearfull of stories focussing on the PTB and the ascended, you kept it (so far) to a nessary minimum.
Comments from author:
I'm glad that you're enjoying the story and Dawn's descriptions of the Stargate's interior. On the subject of ascended beings and PTBs, they aren't going to go away, but, as in canon, don't expect them to be playing any more than a supporting role. I don't like deux ex machina anymore than anyone else, but it is part of both the Buffy and Stargate universes, so it will pop up now and again.

Thanks again for the kind review.
Review By [MBB] • Date [29 May 12] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter Nine" from garrycooper
Review:
Once again stubborness and stupidity has struck the Scooby gang. Not bad at all.
Comments from author:
I'm glad that you're enjoying the story.
Review By [garrycooper] • Date [21 May 12] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter Nine" from BrownFinderth
Review:
Oohhh, very mysterious!!! I do hope that Dawn will be sent home promptly!
Comments from author:
I'm glad that you enjoyed the chapter. As for Dawn, she shares your hopes. The real question is, however, do the PTBS share your hopes?
Review By [BrownFinderth] • Date [12 May 12] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter Nine" from Alkeni
Review:
Excellent as always.
Comments from author:
Thanks.
Review By [Alkeni] • Date [12 May 12] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter Seven" from Rockson
Review:
So far this is a decent story, gonna be interesting how/if you bring in the characters from SG-1 since the whole premise of this story is that the Watchers Council had the Stargate from Giza from day 1 of discovery and it never entered a "governments" hands. Looking forward to how you reconcile that.
Comments from author:
Jack, Sam and Teal'c will arrive on the scene fairly soon (all of them should at least appear in the next arc), although their first appearances may not be exactly as you expect. I'm glad that you're enjoying the story so far.
Review By [Rockson] • Date [8 May 12] • Rating [7 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Chapter Nine" from AnFan
Review:
Overall, and even in detail, I really like this. Of course some of the reaction to exactly what detail was given to Ra will be interesting. I would imagine she knew the address or the larva would have been able to know where Earth was, so this will be interesting to see if he considers Earth a threat or not. I really like how you handled Dawn's situation. You did a great job of not ignoring detail by recognizing that she would have problems rematerializing, as well as having a good way around it. Of course you could have gotten the larva out some other way, but that would be very worrisome. Any other way you tried would have been a bad move for the story. If a mystical method was available, you would think it would have been available in the past. Now the implications of what world you've "dumped" her on are vast. Either it will be one that will ally themselves, are one of the advanced races (Nox or Asgard), or something new. Lots of options. Even though I doubt the Tollan would be a good choice. That would only bring problems, with very little solutions. It would be better if it was a simple planet than that.

Anyway, I really look forward to your next chapter. I hope your muse is raring to help you out with it :)
Comments from author:
I must reiterate that I am delighted to hear that you are enjoying the story so much. Ra already knows Earth's gate address (as it's the same as when he traveled there millennia ago), and Dawn has told him all about the Earth. As to whether or not he considers the Earth a threat or not, you won't find out next chapter, but let's just say that Ra's got something tricky planned.

I'm glad that you liked what I did with Dawn and the Goa'uld occupying her body, as well. As for where Dawn's been dumped, you'll find out in the next couple of chapters (either next chapter or the one after). One thing I can tell you in advance: Dawn will not be a happy camper.

I'll see about getting the next chapter out as soon as possible. I've already written its first scene, although it might actually end up being a later scene, as I think that my outline for the chapter may have poorly ordered its scenes. Best Wishes. :)
Review By [AnFan] • Date [8 May 12] • Rating [10 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Chapter Seven" from AnFan
Review:
Great story. I do feel compelled to point out that invisibility was rare to the point of not known except for the bird that Apophis went after on the Nox world. It wasn't till Nerti (I believe) used a device at the conference for the treaty with the Asgard that it was known as possible, and if I remember correctly, everyone was shocked (well not earth) that it was possible even. I found the assumption of an assassin believable as a guess, but it does seem a stretch as to having one invisible. Not sure what happens yet in 9 or 10, but I think this would color the interactions with Ra. Also It will be interesting to see what the reactions is to the non lethal defense will be.

Love the story. Thanks a lot for sharing it with us.
Comments from author:
I'm delighted that you're enjoying the story so much. As far as the invisibility goes, before Niirti used it, Hathor used one a cloaking device as well. At the same time, it is clear that not all Goa'uld possess this technology, as Yu, Cronos and Apophis were unfamiliar with it during seasons 1 and 2. The conclusion I draw from this evidence is that only the most innovative Goa'uld System Lords have such technology, and, even in their cases, it is exceptionally rare. I also figure that Ra, as Supreme System Lord, is aware of this fact, although I haven't decided whether he's stolen a cloaking device from one of his rivals (he's certainly not innovative enough to have built one himself). This may not quite fit the original Stargate universe (as I am not the ultimate authority on Stargate), but I think that it's at least possible.
Review By [AnFan] • Date [8 May 12] • Rating [10 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Chapter Nine" from HMaxMarius
Review:
There's always a catch. The PTB have something up their sleaves and it probably ain't pretty!
Comments from author:
Of course there's a catch. In fact, once you see where Dawn has been sent, at least one of the catches will be fairly obvious.
Review By [HMaxMarius] • Date [8 May 12] • Not Rated
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