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Rules for Challenges

Gabrielle's family and adventures

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Review of chapter "Chapter Eighteen" from topcat
Review:
I see its over a year since this was updated. Are you planning on coming back to it or is it dead?
Comments from author:
I am planning to come back to it. I'm not sure when though. Hopefully at some point this summer.
Review By [topcat] • Date [29 Jun 14] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter Eighteen" from WCSII
Review:
Sorry about using the reviews to make a story pitch... specially since you seem to be intent on other stories before more on this one. But. I've been tossing around an idea, almost since reading Wraithrune's versions (yes plural) of Xander going as Quina starter pieces (really that author apparently can't finish a story even if it was to save a life) And while your response stories to those are intriguing, after reading these... shy of crack fic stories you call the Shard series; I began to wonder, recently, what would happen if either Rose, (maybe Lilith) or either of the Dawns came across the universes that Wraithrune dropped Xanders in (I think he has two or three of them in his blog journal) with regards to having gone as Quina, and the Powers booting him so as not to mess up their plans. AND, then got the idea to purposefully use Ethan's spell to recreate the nature of that mess, without the mess... that is, to take advantage of someone turning into Quina, and that Ethan's spell seemed to turn objects into what they were specified as being. ...

I can see this being used to overpower someone to such a degree that godmoded doesn't even begin to cover it. IF you're interested in what I had in mind, drop a line.

(edit) With just the powers that Wraithrune wrote it to have, yeah I can see how it can become overpowered. Any iteration, though, my thoughts on preparation would really blow past overpowered, and straight into "Are you a god?" territory. I just... you were doing the whole round robin thing with them, that I can't help but think... would they purposefully throw someone into that situation to make an ally for the incases, whatifs, and holly hells that seem to often come up with them, or would they do it to themselves, maybe even so far as to not tell the others that they did it. ... I just had a horrible thought... Andrew (elder) using this to make it permanent, and then trying to consume demons... Anyways, depends on if you want something as close as anyone can get to an old one at full power (lower rank) without it being an old one, in the girl's pockets.
Comments from author:
Okay, first of all no worries on using the review as a story pitch idea. As for other stories... I have been waiting a while on finishing a book before updating Gabrielle's story. (14th book of the wheel of time series... for various reasons. That's done. Not that that means I'll just back to Gabrielle's story right away but hopefully I'll get back to it before too long.)

Wraithrune... I wish he could finish stuff... some of his stuff needs a good beta but I like a lot of the strange ideas.

I can see the gang thinking it's funny to recreate the Quina experiment. It tends to get quickly over powered though and I already sort of used that idea with Mystic Dawn so I don't really want to do it again.

Thanks for the suggestion though.
Review By [WCSII] • Date [29 Jun 13] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter Seventeen" from DragonBard
Review:
I'm surprised that Hermione (or Lily) has never commented on the fact that technically a two legged dragon with wings is a Wyrven.

Also, I think only the movie dragons were limited to two wings, and the ones in the books had four, but that may be my imagination.
Comments from author:
I'm not sure any more it's been a while since I read the books and the movie other than a few details where the book was better has stayed with me... and confused the issue in certain ways... like the number of legs a dragon has... You could be right though...

I'll have to look that up now... thanks :) *jokingly shakes fist.*
Review By [DragonBard] • Date [1 May 13] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter Eighteen" from Elorie
Review:
Lovely series, thank you.
Comments from author:
You're welcome. Sorry that it took me so long to get back to it.
Review By [Elorie] • Date [16 Apr 13] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter Seventeen" from Verina
Review:
Good story, I enjoyed it a lot, as well as the rest of the series.
I'm also looking forward to seeing where things go from here since it looks like the coming war could be a pretty nasty one.
Comments from author:
I'm glad that you have enjoyed the story so far.
Review By [Verina] • Date [24 Feb 13] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter Seventeen" from deathgeonous
Review:
Ah, great fic. And now you're starting to focus on generation three. It's actually kinda neat to see things progress this way. Well, thanks for writing this, hope you come back to it sometime, bye for now.
Comments from author:
I plan to come back to it sooner than later. I've got a couple of projects taking up my free time and I needed a break to renew the fires for the story so to speak.
Review By [deathgeonous] • Date [9 Feb 13] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter Seventeen" from topcat
Review:
Hey there.
Are you still planning on continuing here or is the story dead? I'm hoping the former but...
Comments from author:
Rib-bit... sounds of crickets... Okay, in all seriousness I'm still here. I started working on some original fiction and another series (on a different site) and this fell by the wayside for a while. Then the weeks turned into months... and yes I plan to continue the series... I can't promise that it will be soon but it might be now that someone reminded me that I didn't finish it. I don't plan to abandon the story but I just needed a break and that break turned into more of a break from this story than I thought. Thanks for the review and I'll try to get back to the story sooner than later.
Review By [topcat] • Date [28 Jan 13] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter Seventeen" from MMWillow
Review:
Bloody Hell each story gets more addictive and feeds into the concepts of the domino theory and string theory beautifully ! I love this and I'm completely hooked! Please keep writing this!
Comments from author:
I'm planning to continue. I just need to finish with a fic on another site first. But yes I have every intention of working on this again.
Review By [MMWillow] • Date [21 Jul 12] • Rating [10 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Chapter Seventeen" from Snowdove
Review:
Great update! Loved the talking dragon :) Wonder how the wizarding world will deal with losing their money as the dragon has declared it as his treasure... The goblins as food tribute is wonderful irony.
Comments from author:
I can't see the wizarding world being all that happy with losing their money. I can't really see them putting up with it but hey the dragon is large and scary. So that's sort of a large point in its favor. I figured with how the goblins treated the dragon they deserve to get some problems.
Review By [Snowdove] • Date [29 Jun 12] • Rating [9 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Chapter Seventeen" from Drake
Review:
Interesting peek in what is happening to the world. I wonder where some of those events are heading. You certainly build an interesting world.

ICW goons. This certainly was a nice way to show how incompetent/corrupt other countries are, but I can't help but think that competent and professional wizards would have made for a more interesting scene. Just because people are competent and professional doesn't mean they are loyal to the same cause.

There are several characters not listen in this chapter, Avari (presumably Longbottom), Cassie, Caitlin, perhaps others. Just a heads up. Their exact linage/power isn't relevant yet, but not finding them is... irritating. :)

Talking about weapon gifts for Christmas, what about the city wall? Is it just a large wall? Are there towers? Crenellation? Fixed weapon emplacements? Lights? Motion detectors? Magical traps against people trying to scale the walls? Invisibility purge around the gates? Cameras?

Uhm, how do they know Morning Glory? Or know about her? It seems clear that they've never met, but they do know her by name. Have they been spying on girls around the world? Or do they know a dimensional analogue?

And is there a reason Heather doesn't follow Mione? You might want to clarify that a bit. It seems strange. I'd have thought they have rules about never going alone or some such.

Dragon... eating sentient creatures isn't nice, on the other hand they had enslaved it for who knows how long and probably weren't too gentle with it. And wile it seems willing to negotiate with humans, it's also willing to eat them... so I can't see leaving it in the middle of London is really an option. The question is if they hire Goderic's Hollow security to take it out or if they use bombs (and perhaps helicopters or tanks as backup).
Comments from author:
I'm trying to build an interesting world. :)

As for the ICW goons being incompetent, I wanted to show them in a bad light before you see the competent ones. Maybe I did it backwards...

I fixed the list of characters to include them.

It's just a large wall right now though they fully intend to create Crenelations and fixed weapon emplacements with droid brains running some of it. Motion lights are likely a very good thing to have as well as motion detectors. As for Magical traps they are currently more worried about creatures than people though after the issues with the icw they will probably consider people trying to scale the walls. As for invisibility detection likely if they can figure out a good way to do it. Cameras are a must as well. I'll get to the walls a bit more next time.

They don't exactly know Morning Glory, she is one of Heather's spy targets on account of the centaurs not wearing shirts. They've been spying on a lot of people over the years. Mostly the forbidden forest for interesting things or dangerous things.

There are a few reasons that Heather didn't follow. One she can't teleport herself. She can apparate with a great deal of effort elsewhere but there are apparation wards at Hogwarts. Her teleport ability is different enough that the wards don't affect it. The other reason that she didn't say grab a broomstick or her ring and fly out there was that the place is dangerous. Mione is a walking talking tank. They typically do have rules about not going along, one it was an emergency and two it was Mione that they were sending. She also wanted to stay behind to keep scrying in case she had to send one of the other girls with power to help. I'll work on clarifying things the next chapter.

I can't see anyone really wanting to leave the dragon in the middle of London either, it seems more than a bit unstable. Probably a combination of the shock of 'waking up' and the abuse it suffered. As for bombs or hiring bounty hunters... They're probably going to try to avoid bombs to start with and only use them as a last resort.
Review By [Drake] • Date [28 Jun 12] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter Seventeen" from Aenea
Review:
Hmm, giant dragon in the middle of London, I'd say either talk it down to cattle or give it tribute of a few hundred pounds of semtex. Just because its magic resistant doesn't mean the caverns it lives in are blast resistant. Or give it a tribute of treasure that includes a Davy Crockett with the stipulation that this"magical artifact" must be kept at least a mile underground and tended to once a day. Then include a motion sensor...

I'm curious what Helios is up to as well as the position of any demi gods in this world.
Comments from author:
The caverns aren't blast proof though it's currently on the surface which is a bit problematic. While the policy of tossing a couple of goblins at it might work for a while, eventually the goblins will either attack the wizards or hide and thus the dragon will get annoyed when you can't make the tribute anymore. That being said, a lot of wizards aren't going to be happy to have a dragon thinking that it owns their money either. As for Helios and the rest of the gods or demi gods you'll see them more next chapter.

Thanks for the review.
Review By [Aenea] • Date [27 Jun 12] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter Sixteen" from Drake
Review:
The limb replacements surprised me. While I could understand if they offered magical replacements to those interested in combat positions, wouldn't it make more sense to visit any generic high-tech society and get the tech to grow new limbs that allow full sensory perception for everyone else?

With magic now revealed, wouldn't British law apply to wizards as well? I'm not quite certain about the timeline, but the government would cover (most) medical treatments. They are quite proud of their universal health care, so I'd expect extending that to the wizards would be a given.

Slave girls... Halloween in Britain tends to be fairly cold. Even colder in Scotland. It's going to be pretty obvious that they are using magic to keep warm. And I wonder how the other children in the village, those not part of the clan, will react to the costumes. School would be interesting.

I'm not too surprised at the cheerleaders. Buffy and Cordelia were avid cheerleaders, after all. Though it is fairly surprising for Britain, since the sport is limited almost exclusively to America. But I guess it's well known enough in Europe for Halloween.

Are burning house... that's going to create massive government reaction. Even during the period of witchburning the government did deal harshly with anyone killing or burning houses in Britain. There were incidents, but rare and usually dealt with quickly and harshly. Government can not allow vigilante justice and keep public order, and they know it. So I'd expect a massive crack down on fundamentalists and suspected supporters. Remember, Britain does not have a constitutional freedom of speech or as high barriers for arrest as the US. In fact hate speech is criminal. So things may calm down fairly quickly, at least in Britain.

Aphrodite is well written. Everything that matters is her looks. The world's most powerful airhead. :)

The gods... some more hints to what happened. Will you give us the whole story anytime soon? Or is that a crossover I missed?

Monsters returning... I would expect that the goblins realize what is happening and start tightening up their operations and prepare for fighting/hunting them. On a bigger picture, shouldn't they inform the world's leaders about what's happening? Monsters are going to be everywhere, so building city walls, arming police, and raising militia in preparation of the return of monsters could save millions of lives. Even with warning I'd expect whole villages to simply disappear, but without, things could get really ugly really fast.

Souls... I always shudder when I think about them eating souls. Is it really souls, or magical cores? I was under the impression that the wizards were still alive, just not wizards any more.

Nice chapter, thanks for sharing.
Comments from author:
They're using him as a test subject for a limb that's a lot more durable. They could install a tech limb or a magical limb or completely regrow his old arm... but they're testing out a couple of new ideas. This is one not that far past the point where magic is becoming known. You're dealing with pure-bloods that are horrified at the very idea of muggle medicine... (Mrs. Weasley and the snake bite and her fears come to mind...) It might be a bit before they get all of the paperwork sorted out. I can't really see them understanding that part of the muggle world.

The cheerleading costumes are amusing because it's an american thing. Thus a costume... As for the salve girl outfits... likely people would assume that they would be rather cold. As long as no one saw them for all that terribly long they're probably fine. Magic wasn't quite out at this point to the same extent though the number of muggles that don't know about magic in Godricks Hallow at this point are rather small.

I'm going to assume that it's well enough known plus Cordelia helps with the community center. I'm sure there are more than a view cheerleading movies played. And well it's a costume that would be easy enough to transfigure for a night.

I'm expecting a good deal of investigation into the burning house.

This Aphrodite is rather vane... :)

I will include more hints at what happened as things continue. You didn't miss anything. (that I know of :)

Goblins, the people on the Dragon preserves and certain other places would likely notice first. As to the goblins... well let's just say that they... or on second thought you'll see. :)

The queen will inform her people in Canada. The second group will tell the president or the incoming president. As for a number of the other countries... it's likely that they either know or will find out depending how things work. As for telling them... they might not believe them... we'll have to see. Having city walls is going to suddenly become important again. :) I can see the cops having to train for weapons. Convincing people that the monsters are coming back isn't going to be easy at least not in the short time frame that they have. Whole villages vanishing is going to be a problem. Supply lines are likely going to be broken all over the place and that's just in a small country where the rulers know things are going to go wrong.

As for the souls... no. Generally speaking they actually eat magic essence (core) or life essence or sometimes both if they can get it:). So they aren't exactly eating a creature's soul or at least not completely :) They did kill some of the wizards so life force mixed with cores... but most just had their magic stolen from them and got handed over to the muggles to kill.

That being said some of their weapons from Skyrim are soul stealing weapons... they aren't really eating those souls though.

Thanks for the review.
Review By [Drake] • Date [23 Jun 12] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter Fifteen" from Rune
Review:
Well, well, Ares and Loki, did any "good" gods or godesses make it this far?

Will the Sunnydale family have to kill some more gods?

And so what if you lose pure blood wizarding culture?
It seems almost as bad as Islamic culture.

Islamic culture is sick and twisted, women are things, anyone not Islamic is lower than a dog, and they don't have a sense of personal responsibility. If anything bad happens to them they blame others. Murdering someone not Islamic is the way to Islamic heaven. Few in the Western world realize this about Islam.

JKR made the bloodpureists one or two notches better but not that much.

Thanks for the update.
Comments from author:
Aphrodite... could maybe be considered 'good'... other than that we'll just have to see.

The Sunnydale family might have to and might not.

As for the wizarding culture... several of the characters see things that they would want to keep. As for my opinion on it, well they could do with some pruning with a weedwacker and a chainsaw.

As for the Islamic culture... I don't particularly find anything of value in their culture at all. I had a couple too many anthropology classes where we looked at their culture to really consider them worthwhile...

As for the bloodpurists I always thought they were just old guard English with a bit more insanity tossed in.

Thanks for the review.
Review By [Rune] • Date [18 Jun 12] • Rating [9 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Chapter Fifteen" from Drake
Review:
Another interesting chapter.
I especially liked how brute strength solved what magic could not in the end. It's different.

I wonder if Willow or Gabrielle could take on a full powered god.. or at least a partially powered god, however you want to call the current situation. Of course Odin or Zeus may very well do the punishing for them. I somehow doubt the three were as stealthy as they thought they were.

As for the artifacts... are they linked to the gods? Could they be drained to power other items that wouldn't cause mental changes? Could they be used to drain the gods themselves? Oh the irony if Ares would be vulnerable to power drain because of his involvement in the situation.

Statue of Secrecy seems to be blown. Wouldn't it make more sense to now send magicals to help deal with the aftermath to give magic a friendly face? OR will they go the mutant route? I.e. mutations granting super powers is a new things, maybe linked to contact with the other Earth.
Comments from author:
Sometimes brute strength really is the way to go with things. Especially when you have someone with brute strength that doesn't have a handicap dealing with magic. (Kryptonians.)

For Willow senior and Gabrielle it would depend on the god in question. Likely they could but it wouldn't be pretty. As for Ares being stealthy... he's trying to be stealthy. As for the three being stealthy... let's just say that Loki is Loki... he's going to take care of himself even if he's got to toss the other two to the wolves.

The artifacts aren't linked the way you're thinking. Yes they could be drained to fuel new artifacts that don't have the insanity bit... They can't be used to drain the gods themselves... Ares sadly wouldn't have been vulnerable to power theft from the artifacts he had... none of them were his.

The statue of secrecy is rather blown... it's going to unravel even more over the next bit. The English crown will send crown magic users to put things to right... What spin she'll put on it remains to be seen. Contact with the other earth will probably have something to do with it even if it's just her claiming that the heroes that stopped it work for her. :)

Thanks for the review and ideas as always.
Review By [Drake] • Date [18 Jun 12] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter Fifteen" from Aenea
Review:
Nice fight, and Ares Loki and Aphrodite soon to step into Gabrielle's magic juicer. Insert 1 God, Output Divine Power and a Corpse.
Comments from author:
Laughs, nah that would be a bit mean. Not to mention that Ares has plenty of power to keep that from happening to him. Plus, they were working decently hard to stay off the radar. :)

Glad that you liked the fights and thanks for the review.
Review By [Aenea] • Date [17 Jun 12] • Not Rated
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