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Attack of the Slayers

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Review of chapter "Chapter Four" from SSanchez
Very funny thanks for posting!
Review By [SSanchez] • Date [7 Jan 14] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter Four" from sdavidm
The Asgard, the ultimate deus ex machina! This series is pretty hilarious so far. Hope you continue it soon!
Review By [sdavidm] • Date [21 Oct 13] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter Four" from (Current Donor)Sraya
This is hilarious you have to finish this absolutely loving it....
Review By [(Current Donor)Sraya] • Date [9 Sep 13] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter Four" from TrevaRea
UGH! You have got to finish this. It was hilarious and very very good.

Please consider finishing it.

Pretty please!

Treva Rea
Review By [TrevaRea] • Date [11 Jul 13] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter Four" from Letomo
I'm sorry this seems not to have been continued, as it's a good story, funny, and one of the best depictions of the two universes colliding. No spouting out stories to each other, just coincidence, and realistic reactions.

I hope the muse strikes again!
Review By [Letomo] • Date [24 Apr 13] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter Four" from (Recent Donor)tchizek
hahahahah complete and total confusion on both sides of that conversation at the end.

Wonderful story, but Xander should have whacked Andrew for dressing up as Darth anything. Andrew is a recovering evil mage after all he shouldn't be pretending to be evil it's bad for his 12 step program.

Great series, great story, great chapter!
Review By [(Recent Donor)tchizek] • Date [22 Jul 12] • Rating [10 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Chapter Four" from breve
I adore this story.
I actually like Andrew a lot, when he's not horribly annoying.
Radio televisions...I just died a little laughing at this story :)
Review By [breve] • Date [7 Jul 12] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter Four" from breve
This story is amazing.
Can't wait to read the rest of it.
Radio televisions lol
Review By [breve] • Date [22 Jun 12] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter Four" from HananeELmokkadem
Oh my God! I pissed myself laughing. Seriously, this story cracked me up.
From Andrew's 'You'll never get anything out of me copper' and his 'Guantanamo Bay comment, to Fluffy Winters and her quest to take 'Murray's' light saber. Willow's reaction at his 'Be careful, the force is strong in this one' comment was dangerous. I hope you update son because I can't wait to see what happens next.
Review By [HananeELmokkadem] • Date [6 Jun 12] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter Four" from (Current Donor)DeepBlueJoy
This is one of the more entertaining stories I've read in a while... more soonish, pretty please???

Review By [(Current Donor)DeepBlueJoy] • Date [18 May 12] • Rating [9 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Chapter Four" from draconis
Fun story. Thanks.

Buffy always has been fixated on her weapons, hasn't she?

Minor issue, if the self-destruct is going to take out a good portion of Colorado, I think you're talking about millions of people, especially if you take primary, secondary, and tertiary effects of such a detonation into account.

I wonder if science-guy Thor knows about Witches.
Review By [draconis] • Date [18 May 12] • Rating [7 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Chapter Four" from Genuka
yup, sounds like both groups to a T.
Review By [Genuka] • Date [14 May 12] • Rating [10 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Chapter Four" from dreameralways
Did the Asgard take Andrew too?
Comments from author:
Not yet.
Review By [dreameralways] • Date [12 May 12] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter Four" from (Past Donor)pinkhairedharry

thor to the rescue

great update
Comments from author:
I'm glad that you enjoyed the chapter. As for Thor to the rescue... well, Thor to the something anyway.
Review By [(Past Donor)pinkhairedharry] • Date [12 May 12] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter One" from Difdi
> “Why not? We're already breaking into a military base. How much worse will it be if we add grand larceny to the rap sheet?”

Well, that's true enough. Nobody is likely to care much about something as minor as grand larceny, at least not compared to treason anyway. Facing 3-5 years in federal prison is a bit redundant when you're standing in front of the firing squad (which is the penalty for treason).

Edited to add:

Well, the two bases they've broken into in the past were an illegal black operation on American soil (everyone involved would have gotten 20-life or death penalties if it went through the courts publicly) and a simple theft of a weapon (and it was used to defend the nation). Neither one amounts to making war on the United States however.

Nor does a protest trespassing onto a base quite rise to the level of making war.

Assaulting U.S. soldiers who are NOT part of a rogue and/or illegal operation, on an official U.S. military base, as part of a deliberate attack on that base is treason, however. Andrew being incarcerated on the base may or may not be illegal (remember, he DID attack a U.S. city) but even if it were illegal, it's a matter for lawyers not an armed assault. Two wrongs don't make a right, after all. Buffy's irrational hatred of the military is not going to be considered a legitimate justification for such an attack.

Benedict Arnold (to name a real life traitor) and Harry Maybourne (to name a fictional one in Stargate) were convicted of treason for committing LESS heinous acts than what Buffy is carrying out. I kinda doubt ten slayers could force the outer door of Cheyenne Mountain against the closing mechanism. If they can do that, then individually they would be able to throw a Buick over a hundred feet. And Slayers just aren't that strong.

Then there is the foothold failsafe. The girls are obviously hostile and nonhuman, and are assaulting Stargate Command. Standard operating procedure is to arm the nuclear bomb in the basement and remove the Gate from the hands of the enemy. Given how a nuke interacts with naquada, the resulting explosion will likely also remove Colorado and chunks of the neighboring states from the hands of the enemy as well.

Lastly, if Buffy is successful, the results will actually be worse for the world than if she fails. Any organization that can organize, carry out and succeed at an attack on the most secure, heavily defended base on the planet is a Clear and Present Danger to the National Security of the United States. That is a very scary term, typically uttered by the President, and it inevitably leads to a full-scale military action. Willow is a badass, but I kinda doubt she could defend the Cleveland compound from a dozen Mark 84 bombs delivered by half a dozen strike aircraft from 60,000 feet in the middle of the night. If she were that powerful, she could just teleport the lightsaber and Andrew out of the SGC, without ever going near the state of Colorado.

Edited again:

You didn't even bother to click the link, obviously.

> I still don't think that they would do what you seem to think they would do -- reduce the entire State of Ohio to a nuclear
> wasteland, killing millions of Americans in order to destroy a small girl's school in Cleveland

And there's the proof that you didn't click. I never said nukes, unless you've got some really wacky physics in your universe. If 3 tons of conventional high explosives can remove the entire state of Ohio, then that rocket launcher used on the Judge would have killed everybody in Sunnydale.

A Mark 84 bomb has 945 pounds of high explosive in it, but not even a trace of radioactive material.
Comments from author:
True enough. Of course, Buffy and co. have already broken into at least 2 military bases before without any problems. Also, I'm not sure that breaking into a military base gets you a treason charge. For example, recently, 5 protesters over nuclear weapons broke into a navy base, attempting to reach its nuclear weapons, and they only got 15 months in prison for conspiracy, trespassing and destruction of government property: Of course, Buffy and company would probably get assault added to their rap sheet, but I doubt they would be looking at the death penalty even normally. The US government also sort of owes them one for preventing the Initiative from destroying the world a while ago, and the SGC is sort of holding one of the Council's people without trial, while violating just about all of his rights to legal representation as an American citizen.

This story is not meant to be taken seriously, but, even if it were, I'm pretty sure that the Council would be going before a firing squad.


I'm not sure why you're still reading this story if you hate it so much, but I do make a policy of responding to reviews, so I suppose I should respond to your litany of complaints.

First, let's deal with the two easy ones. The slayers did not open the door: Willow did. That's why the chapter says that it opened of its own accord, not that it was pushed open, which would be impossible. Willow simply overrode the mechanism which opens and shuts the door using magic. Secondly, I'm well aware that Hammond will arm the nuclear bomb in the basement if the SGC has been compromised. He is currently sitting in the SGC's control room with another officer, ready to do that the second Jack O'Neill and his back-up fail to repel the intruders (if they fail). He might have armed the self-destruct earlier, but does not know quite what to make of Cheyenne Mountain getting attacked by twelve year-old girls.

Now, let's deal with the difference between the real world and the Buffyverse. In the real world, some of what you're saying is true. Buffy almost certainly should be charged with treason, and the US government would start taking apart the Watcher's Council piece by piece. Frankly, the US government would have taken apart the Watcher's Council decades ago, as they have been kidnapping US citizens for at least a century. I still don't think that they would do what you seem to think they would do -- reduce the entire State of Ohio to a nuclear wasteland, killing millions of Americans in order to destroy a small girl's school in Cleveland (I would hate to be the American President who tried to explain this to the American people) -- but it's fairly clear that the Watcher's Council would have a very tough time of it, if they survived at all.

Now, let's talk about the Buffyverse. Setting aside the fact that Buffy has already attacked two American military bases before, as apparently, according to you, the US government is cool with this, let's talk about clear and present dangers to the United States of America. I can name one for you. Her name is Willow Rosenberg. She tried to destroy the world (and almost succeeded) because she was depressed about her girlfriend's death. Let's name another one: the Watcher's Council. This is a secretive group who claims to be trying to save the world from evil, but the US government has scant evidence regarding their activities. What the US government does know is that they apparently collect how to manuals for causing apocalypses and claim sole jurisdiction over a veritable army of super soldiers.

In the real world, Willow Rosenberg would get a bullet through her skull, and, if that didn't work, Miss One Woman WMD would get bombs dropped on her until she keeled over. As for the Watcher's Council, no national government would ever allow a private organization like that to exist with no oversight from national governments. It would be utterly insane. All you would need is one bad head of the Watcher's Council and the world would go kablooie. However, in the Buffyverse, no one cares. In fact, US officials who try to do anything at all to protect the American people from supernatural threats are invariably portrayed as evil. This is the difference between reality and fiction.

Of course, this story is not even really taking a serious look at the Buffyverse. The fact that Buffy is going by Fluffy Winters should hint that this is a crack fic (one which tries to largely keep most of the characters in character, but even so, the goal is to amuse, not to deal with whatever crazy legal system the US government must have in place for dealing with the Watcher's Council).

Edited Again:

You're right. I didn't click your link. I'm not sure what pointing out that the US government could destroy the Watcher's Council's headquarters with conventional weapons is supposed to accomplish (and I already knew this), but I guess I'll concede the point I was not really arguing anyway. However, everything else I said still stands.
Review By [Difdi] • Date [12 May 12] • Rating [3 out of 10]
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