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The One that Protects, Old Version

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Review of chapter "The One that Protects" from Genuka
Review:
This was a good story. :D
Review By [Genuka] • Date [22 Aug 12] • Rating [10 out of 10]
Review of chapter "The One that Protects" from Vassago
Review:
This reads like a really good trailer.

And reading this while "Stand Up Be Strong (Part I and Part II)" and "Invasion" play alternating in the background gave me shivers. Good shivers.
Review By [Vassago] • Date [30 Jun 12] • Rating [10 out of 10]
Review of chapter "The One that Protects" from claws
Review:
This is a great outline with an excellent application of plot. There were a few points where the order of progression became incoherent and I, for one, would prefer a more balanced approach that didn't have Xander personally and directly facing ALL of the greater threats from Canon, but it's perfectly excusable in this type of format and has any number of methods to be ameliorated with should you so choose. That said, I would love to see this expanded into a proper story someday.
Comments from author:
Well, you get your wish!
Review By [claws] • Date [22 Jun 12] • Rating [8 out of 10]
Review of chapter "The One that Protects" from (Recent Donor)tammin
Review:
Great story. I liked the tone and flow, it worked well with the cut-scene style that you used.
Review By [(Recent Donor)tammin] • Date [20 Jun 12] • Rating [9 out of 10]
Review of chapter "The One that Protects" from Hecatonchires
Review:
Nice use of Bleach ideas. Really liked the technique descriptions
Review By [Hecatonchires] • Date [20 Jun 12] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "The One that Protects" from animesam
Review:
This is an awesome story. you showed parts of the show were he had to win, any thing less would mean death to lots of people. i think you did great.
Review By [animesam] • Date [20 Jun 12] • Rating [10 out of 10]
Review of chapter "The One that Protects" from Bobboky
Review:
Cool
Review By [Bobboky] • Date [20 Jun 12] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "The One that Protects" from (Recent Donor)TheDivineDemon
Review:
When I saw this on FF I smiled and knew you'd be coming here soon. Good luck with your stories man.

Oh, and this one-shot, above average. Too much of all powerful and all knowing Xander too quick for me, still impressively written though.
Review By [(Recent Donor)TheDivineDemon] • Date [20 Jun 12] • Rating [7 out of 10]
Review of chapter "The One that Protects" from deamon
Review:
Wow this is actually very good and unique. I dont think i ever heard a buffy bleach like this before. I would love to read more like this, maybe a full length where xander somehow in the bleach universe.
Review By [deamon] • Date [20 Jun 12] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "The One that Protects" from (Recent Donor)deitarionSSokolow
Review:
Interesting. The concept is a different twist on a somewhat tired type of YAHF but it really feels like you're giving Xander far too much of a "fix any situation for free" card. You need to take things more slowly and not just jump from victory to victory. As is, it REALLY doesn't feel like a completed short story. It feels like a sloppy chop-job taken from a novel-length work.

(Some plots just can't be condensed this far because novels, novellas, and short stories all cover different kinds of driving conflicts. ...well, that and how you seem to not understand that a proper story can't exist without a driving conflict of some sort or other... even if it's just a character coming to grips with the implications of their new-found power.)
Comments from author:
Yes, you are entirely correct on the sloppiness of the story. My main impetus was to simply get a brief crossover story completed so I could post my much more developed non-crossover story.

The only thing is that, as I was writing it, I kept getting more and more ideas for how things would be influenced by Xander having access to a zanpakuto and its subsequent powers. There is an interesting story in there that part of me wants to tell. I'm hesitant to do so because I could see myself becoming invested in this story to the detriment of my other current work and I don't want to juggle two stories at the same time.

However, as there does seem to be a lot of interest in the story I may be compelled to write it.

IF I do write this story it will have to be rewritten. At the moment the current chapter is more of a brief outline than anything else. I will also have to limit the amount of power Xander has access to in order to keep him from being an overwhelming force in the Buffyverse. I realized as I was finishing the story that I made the mistake of giving Xander Ichigo's monstrous growth and power level. That level of power works fine in Bleach, which features several characters with world changing power. Not so much in Buffy where that level of power is reserved for off-screen characters or pivotal events.

And yes, there is no conflict in the story. I was just looking the get something, even if it was crap, to put up. However, I can feel my inner perfectionist already begin to try and fix the story. For that, I don't know whether to thank you or curse you. Instead I'll thank you for your insightful review. I'll definitely take your comments into consideration if I rewrite this piece.

Goddamn it. I just realized that my muse is already re-writing this piece. Ah, well, it looks like I will be juggling two stories after all.
Damn it. I really was hoping to avoid that.
Review By [(Recent Donor)deitarionSSokolow] • Date [20 Jun 12] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "The One that Protects" from Hellsinglover
Review:
This was an incredibly done bleach/btvs crossover and a I hope you write more fanfiction, I enjoyed your writing.
Review By [Hellsinglover] • Date [20 Jun 12] • Rating [10 out of 10]
Review of chapter "The One that Protects" from (Current Donor)ayg
Review:
It's an interesting idea, but the story jumps around too much. It gets confusing.
Review By [(Current Donor)ayg] • Date [20 Jun 12] • Not Rated
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