I enjoyed this chapter, but I have to wonder, how long are people going to be stupid? How any groups have tried to capture Xander's group alive and it always ends with them being gunned down. I understand that "evil controlling dicks, think they are smarter.", but it still seems a bit odd. Even if, IF they managed to take Xander down, and his group the Brotherhood would slaughter everyone responsible.
Also, I have one small issue with your fight scenes. The end tends to come up very quickly. For example the battle with the werewolf god the battles climax sort of fizzled. This chapter had something similar, awesome build up that the big bad was a big bad. That he'd rain down hell fire, and then suddenly in a sentence it's over. It kind of makes your characters look lucky, rather then skilled.
I did enjoy the chapter, but certain minor but noticeable flaws seem to occasionally pop up in the story.
Review By [TTrunks] • Date [16 May 13] • Not Rated
I'd like to start by saying this is an awesome story. I think it does a great job mixing and matching different continuities. Dante ((From Devil May cry)) has always been one of my favorite characters, so I hope we'll see more of him. Also, if you don't mind a suggestion. I'd love to see The Frog Brothers ((From the Lost Boys Series)) make an appearance. They always seemed to match the tone of the John carpenter vampire hunters. Also, I'd love if The Punisher could get a bit more love while I agree he isn't really "Brotherhood" material having Xander insult him when Xander has arguably become like him is a bit hypocritical. You could almost say that The Punisher is what Xander would become, if he lost Faith and the girls which you've implied.
I do have a question or two though. The biggest is "Why does Xander reload?", in the old west Cowboys tended to carry two guns not necessarily for duel wielding but because it took a long time to reload and thus when one pistol emptied you'd just use the other gun. It seems like Xander could do something similar using the pocket, just pull a gun with his other hand and keep firing.
The second question is also something a bit nit picky, "Why is Leo just used for healing?" This question first hit me during the setup for the torture scene where you had Electra. While I understand situations sort of lose their impact if you can have them teleport this questions pops up a few times when the characters lives are on the line. If Faith can't call his name, while understandable ((She isn't a witch)), then you might mention that for non Charmed fans. But I believe in one of the earlier chapters you had Faith ay his name and he appeared ((I may be wrong I did just marathon the fic.)). It kind of kept pounding me in the face during the whole assassins after them supposedly sent by the council arc. You have a baby you can't leave the country BECAUSE of the baby and yet you have an unknown number of people trying to end you. You can wait in the country for 24 hours or so or ask a close friend to teleport in then out with said baby, watch the baby for a fews hours and catch the next flight out. Not to mention since Leo is a literal Ange, it doesn't' seem like it would be a waste or misuse of powers.
I understand if the answer to both is "Dramatic License", after all if Xander needs to be in a one on one fight having hi mow down a line of demons doesn't hep the story. Vice versa if Leo can get them out of a situation then it becomes easy to abuse that. I just figured since I'd read the story and enjoyed it I'd offer you praise and point out two minor plot hole for you. Thanks for writing and posting this and I can't wait to read more.
Comments from author:
Dante will turn up again before the series is finished.
I'm that geek oddity who dislikes BOTH the Evil Dead & Lost Boys. :D
Xander would probably become a demonic Punisher should he lose the girls to vampires etc., you're right. However the fact still remains Castle (as shown in Civil War), is a complete nutter.
Xander reloads physically because it's probably easier and simpler than using the Always Pocket. Imagine reaching in to the Always Pocket then finding there's no freshly loaded Mossberg, then having to scramble for something else?
I'm not a great Charmed fan, although what you said is correct, it just didn't occur for me. If I had done it that way however I wouldn't have been able to build a British Mithras Branch. So, let's call this one dramatic licence in the interests of not making things too easy. :D
Thanks for the very detailed review.
Review By [TTrunks] • Date [20 Apr 13] • Not Rated
Another great chapter, when/ are you going to hit the stargate program? Keep up the good work.
Comments from author:
I'm not .
Think about it. In this verse's past, the gods (Thor, Ra, Zeus etc), were real people that rose up against the ruling demons, that directly contradicts the world-building of Stargate where the mythological gods were actual aliens. Couldn't marry the two together, so decided against using the SGC in this story.
The NID is a separate thing, I've just retooled it as a general black ops agency in part because Frank Simmons is such an effective bad guy.
Thanks for the review and the interest.
Review By [moringstar] • Date [18 Apr 13] • Not Rated