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Valentine's Consequences

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Review of chapter "Violations" from FireWolfe
Review:
I really would like to see more of this fic. It is very rare that any of the gang has to pay any price for their crimes mistakes mess ups whatever with the law or magic. The only one held to any account is Faith killing of the dept. mayor and Buffy briefly with the Kendra mess. Willow goes to the coven but she come back and no real punishment is given for killing warren. Yes he was evil but they held Buffy to a higher standard and Faith too so I always hated Xader and Willow got off from their mess ups. This is the only fic I have ever read that held Xander accountable and does not give him a free pass. TO many fics make him super xander and the sun seems to shine out of his ass. This one tells it like it is and I so want to see what happens to him.
Comments from author:
I will see what I can do but I did get a lot of negative feedback, mostly for being too AU for Dresden.
Review By [FireWolfe] • Date [18 May 14] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Violations" from orgasmo
Review:
That was... shockingly tame for a punishment from the tight-asses of the White Council. All told, Xander and Amy got off pretty lightly.

Plus, I don't think the Laws of Magic as they exist in the Dresden-verse are compatible with those of the Buffy-verse. Crossovers between the series are doable (with clashing styles of magic), but I don't think a straight fusion as you have it here works out too well. Not to mention, even if the worlds did merge, only Amy would be really be under Council purview. Blackmail does not break the rules of magic, even if it coerces such a break.
Review By [orgasmo] • Date [25 Feb 13] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Violations" from (Recent Donor)Hawklan
Review:
ohaaa....it looks like a lot of work lies before Xander and poor Harry has to watch over him and Amy
Review By [(Recent Donor)Hawklan] • Date [18 Sep 12] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Violations" from FireWolfe
Review:
More I hope
Review By [FireWolfe] • Date [23 Jul 12] • Rating [10 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Violations" from Bobboky
Review:
nice
Review By [Bobboky] • Date [20 Jul 12] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Violations" from (Recent Donor)Manchester
Review:
A possible addition to this story would involve someone tattling to the other Council (those stuffy British blokes) about what the unwashed colonials with their jumped-up organization are doing with the Slayer. Even if Quentin Travers and his cronies think Ms. Summers would be best replaced with a properly respectful young woman obedient to their every whim, nobody else better dare interfere with their property. Frankly, both groups deserve each other, given their supreme arrogance about being in charge and dispensing so-called justice as they please. And then they both turn around and whine that they're having difficulties with their wars, because, oh, maybe they killed off any possible supporters.

Blow 'em up, every one.
Review By [(Recent Donor)Manchester] • Date [18 Jul 12] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Violations" from jimk
Review:
I don't know. The basic idea is good as in consequences for the Valentine spell. While it clearly is not within the definition of real world rape laws, there's no reason to think any magical world couldn't have a mental rape or coercion law and it clearly would fall under that. Secondly, it clearly would fall under Dresden verse laws regarding enthrallment. So, I'm fine with that part and it actually is a decent idea for a fic. The multiple women needing to have Xander's child is no worse than any other typical harem fic device. So, while it's on silly side, I'm also okay with that part.

Aside from minor technical areas that people can complain about, where it really falls apart is the merger of Btvs and Dresden verses is not done in a believable manner. Granted it's only a short fic so that limits it but the merger is so critical to the fic that it really is a serious problem. Number one the White Council would never have jurisdiction over a non magic user. Number two it clearly is nothing in comparison to the crimes of the mayor and any other magic user in Btvs. So believing they would suddenly intervene for this is just not plausible as the story is told.

Again though, I think the basic premise is outstanding. Like many if not most people Xander is my favorite character by far. However, it is a refreshing counterpoint to the almost constant Xander can do no wrong meme.
Review By [jimk] • Date [18 Jul 12] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Violations" from Tippy
Review:
You copy and pasted the same response to every review and didn't bother to actually address any of the concerns.

1) The only individuals that the White Council claims authority and sovereignty over are human magic users. Amy, Willow, Jenny, and Giles of the BtVS cast.

2) You can not violate the Law's unless you, personally, cast the spell. You can bribe, blackmail, or otherwise coerce someone into casting a spell for you and it does not matter jack. The Council might still kill you for any number of reasons (knowing that magic is real as a vanilla mortal is usually enough for a death sentence on it's own), but it would not be for a Law violation.

This fic has a combination of works that need a lot of work to mesh well. It has a bad premise under both of the involved settings. It handles the Voice of every character badly. It handles the situation badly under both involved settings.

About the only thing in this entire fic that is competently done is the technical writing (spelling, grammar, etc.).
Review By [Tippy] • Date [18 Jul 12] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Violations" from Ramenth
Review:
This is horribly out of character for both the Buffy Characters, and more so for the Dresden Files characters and setting. Council activities are carried out in Latin, not English, the accused have no right to explanation, and the psychic backlash of the violations you list would have turned Xander into more of a Rape Machine than Dr. Light.

This reads like a poorly executed bashfic, but it's impossible to tell which side you're bashing since both are handled so poorly. Before you try writing Dresden Files fanfiction, you should actually read the series. This seems like you aimed for Law And Order and slapped the Dresden Files title on it.

Edit: And before you go on a rant about Xander, that isn't what I'm talking about. I mean, yes, he's terrible out of character and his dialog and internal voice don't sound anything like the Nicholas Brendon character, but it's more systemic than that. Your Buffy doesn't sound like Buffy. Your Jenny doesn't sound like Jenny. Your other characters have a line or two and so I can't say. Your senior council sounds like bad law and order fanfiction, your grasp of the Dresden Files is thin at best, and their logic has more holes in it than a sponge.

So I don't mean this seems like a "Bash Xander" fic when I say "reads like a bash fic." It seems like you're bashing both _settings_, and doing a bad job of it. Because those are the only times I've seen someone give such a cursory glance at what they claim is main source material for a fanfic. Given the quality of your other writing, you should be ashamed. This is in no way up to your usual standards.
Review By [Ramenth] • Date [18 Jul 12] • Rating [1 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Violations" from (Past Donor)ScottWanderer
Review:
Excellent writing, shoddy premise.

The Mayor would never let the Wardens in town as he basically has violated nearly every law of Magic at least 60,000 times.

Hell, the love spell wouldn't have even been a blip on the Radar. Compared to everything else. Plus honestly there was only mens rhea in one count of the Violation. That being on Cordy and that backfired. Basically your having Amy and Xander convicted of hundreds of counts of crimes for basically was an oops.
Kinda like nailing a guy for flashing a crowd when the dumpster he was pissing on moved and the town saw his wang out. Was what he was doing wrong? yes. But he intended no harm and in magic Intention is EVERYTHING.

Additionl: Yes, and did they charge the shooter with murder or with Involuntary manslaughter.

Your story has a governing body ignore several hundred thousand clearly criminal and harmful violations and prosecute a minor violation which may technically be absolved by the fact it was a DIVINE spell. Amy made a plea to a higher power and the higher power made the effect. The Wardens have no jurisdiction over higher powers. Love to see them try it.
Comments from author:
On the 4th of July a man in Florida was hit in the face by a falling bullet and was severely injured by someone who probably intended no harm.

I may address your concerns if I continue this story.
Review By [(Past Donor)ScottWanderer] • Date [18 Jul 12] • Rating [5 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Violations" from (Current Donor)dogbertcarroll
Review:
I'm going to have to say... meh.

Trying to mix the two series and only applying it to the one episode just doesn't work for me. You'd have to make a lot more changes to mix the two series and start from the beginning.

Additional: I have no idea why you decided to add that little rant about Xander considering it has nothing to do with my review. This reminds me far too much of Kate who did something similar in a review when she still did her two chapter bash fics, where she would bash the cast than start another two chapter bash fic rather than bother writing any more. I think she was in it for the flames personally.
Comments from author:
Despite the fact that I like the character of Xander (he makes out pretty well in several of my stories), the writers often let him do bonehead things that if done by the villain of the piece would result in them being tarred & feathered, crucified upside down and then set afire. Slapping or punching Cordelia for breaking up with him would have been more honorable than deliberately conspiring to violate her the way the writers had him do with the Love Spell. Intent follows the bullet even if the bullet misses the intended target and hits a bystander. Aspects of the Dresden-verse provided a forum to address that issue even if the two universes don’t mesh well and I admit I’m not that well versed with much detail about TDF. The fact that I used the 12 to help justify mercy from the OOC Senior Council is just what I felt was needed for being set in the BtVS-verse.



If you don’t like it, hide it away and don’t read it should I ever update it. I don’t expect to hit a home run with every story I write. I also don’t write to satisfy any particular reader either, so no apologies or retractions will be forthcoming even though your comments have been noted.
Review By [(Current Donor)dogbertcarroll] • Date [17 Jul 12] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Violations" from TroyGuffey
Review:
I agree with several other reviewers. The two universes don't mesh, so it's more holes than coherent plot; they didn't intend any harm other than mild humiliation; it would have been practically unnoticed given the Mayor swamping the "RADAR" with his violations. In addition Amy is learning only from books which don't appear to have mentioned the Laws of Magic AT ALL. Granted she did know that turning in invisible homework was bad, but she would have been chastisied into stopping by the Scoobies once they were aware of it.
Finally, it's a Buffy-verse bash-fic, I don't like crossovers where the xover universe just suddeny appears to punish the Scoobies because the Scoobies are PREVENTING as much evil as they can manage, with Xander an important member of Buffy's support team.

If you really want to turn this into a good fic, the Wardens should have a "Oops, sorry about that, Chief" and turn to active support.
Comments from author:
Despite the fact that I like the character of Xander (he makes out pretty well in several of my stories), the writers often let him do bonehead things that if done by the villain of the piece would result in them being tarred & feathered, crucified upside down and then set afire. Slapping or punching Cordelia for breaking up with him would have been more honorable than deliberately conspiring to violate her the way the writers had him do with the Love Spell. Intent follows the bullet even if the bullet misses the intended target and hits a bystander. Aspects of the Dresden-verse provided a forum to address that issue even if the two universes don’t mesh well and I admit I’m not that well versed with much detail about TDF. The fact that I used the 12 to help justify mercy from the OOC Senior Council is just what I felt was needed for being set in the BtVS-verse.



If you don’t like it, hide it away and don’t read it should I ever update it. I don’t expect to hit a home run with every story I write. I also don’t write to satisfy any particular reader either, so no apologies or retractions will be forthcoming even though your comments have been noted.
Review By [TroyGuffey] • Date [17 Jul 12] • Rating [4 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Violations" from allaire
Review:
So your story mainly serves as an explanation as to why almost a dozen young women now have to add *physical* rape (and unwanted pregnancy by their rapist) to *mental* rape as well if they want to escape death? Bleh.

If bashing Xander butters your bread? Go for it. But that premise? In my opinion, it's more than morally questionable.
Comments from author:
Despite the fact that I like the character of Xander (he makes out pretty well in several of my stories), the writers often let him do bonehead things that if done by the villain of the piece would result in them being tarred & feathered, crucified upside down and then set afire. Slapping or punching Cordelia for breaking up with him would have been more honorable than deliberately conspiring to violate her the way the writers had him do with the Love Spell. Intent follows the bullet even if the bullet misses the intended target and hits a bystander. Aspects of the Dresden-verse provided a forum to address that issue even if the two universes don’t mesh well and I admit I’m not that well versed with much detail about TDF. The fact that I used the 12 to help justify mercy from the OOC Senior Council is just what I felt was needed for being set in the BtVS-verse.



If you don’t like it, hide it away and don’t read it should I ever update it. I don’t expect to hit a home run with every story I write. I also don’t write to satisfy any particular reader either, so no apologies or retractions will be forthcoming even though your comments have been noted.
Review By [allaire] • Date [17 Jul 12] • Rating [1 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Violations" from roninx
Review:
Yeah, this was just a bad idea from the start. Usually I enjoy your stories but this just comes across as another Xander bash fic. Other have explained better than me why the premise doesn't work and falls apart under the most cursory examination. You might as well scrap this because as it stands it would require a massive overhaul to make it even slightly plausible.
Comments from author:
Despite the fact that I like the character of Xander (he makes out pretty well in several of my stories), the writers often let him do bonehead things that if done by the villain of the piece would result in them being tarred & feathered, crucified upside down and then set afire. Slapping or punching Cordelia for breaking up with him would have been more honorable than deliberately conspiring to violate her the way the writers had him do with the Love Spell. Intent follows the bullet even if the bullet misses the intended target and hits a bystander. Aspects of the Dresden-verse provided a forum to address that issue even if the two universes don’t mesh well and I admit I’m not that well versed with much detail about TDF. The fact that I used the 12 to help justify mercy from the OOC Senior Council is just what I felt was needed for being set in the BtVS-verse.



If you don’t like it, hide it away and don’t read it should I ever update it. I don’t expect to hit a home run with every story I write. I also don’t write to satisfy any particular reader either, so no apologies or retractions will be forthcoming even though your comments have been noted.
Review By [roninx] • Date [17 Jul 12] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Violations" from (Recent Donor)tchizek
Review:
Oh wow, very interesting crossover.

Move Harry to SunnyDale for 25 years or until Amy and Xander die, Xander has to impregnate a large cast of girls that include Cordy, Willow and Buffy?
Willow and Amy have a chance to learn from Harry? This is sooo cool!

Keep up the great story!
Comments from author:
Thanks. Glad you like it but you're in the minority. I may continue the story some time in the future.
Review By [(Recent Donor)tchizek] • Date [17 Jul 12] • Rating [10 out of 10]
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