Large PrintHandheldAudioRating
using
 paypal
Twisting The Hellmouth Crossing Over Awards - Results
Is your email address still valid?

The Rings of Hell

StoryReviewsStatisticsRelated StoriesTracking
Review of chapter "Conclusion" from sdavidm
Review:
Interesting start to the series. The mystery of the galactic power will no doubt raise its head in a future story. I don't think Willow's bombshell at the end was handled believably though. Her friends would object a bit more, and she has her own sense of duty to Buffy. She went to UC Sunnydale for that reason.

I also disagree that Xander and Giles would have bowed out from the battle. You really gave no reason for this uncharacteristic behaviour.
Review By [sdavidm] • Date [25 Aug 14] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Choices" from DieselDriver
Review:
Hmm. It seemed pretty obvious to me that it was a test of them. To see what they would do when given a moral choice. I think they all passed but I won't know till I read the next chapter will I?
Review By [DieselDriver] • Date [28 Oct 13] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Trap" from DieselDriver
Review:
What a cool chapter. Run him through again Buffy!
Review By [DieselDriver] • Date [28 Oct 13] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "To Sunnydale" from DieselDriver
Review:
Just curious, why do you (and many other authors) seem to need to explain yourself at the end of each chapter? Are other readers so freaking picky that they don't just read and enjoy? I like your story, the grammar is good, no obvious wording errors. What's up with the seeming insecurity? This is good stuff!
Comments from author:
I was brand new to fanfiction when I wrote this. So yeah, I probably was insecure - but I'm better now!
Review By [DieselDriver] • Date [28 Oct 13] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Revelation" from DieselDriver
Review:
Seems rather paranoid of them to assume that Caelus (?) is automatically bad. He hasn't hurt anyone, he did leave but SURPRISE! he's an ancient with a (maybe) symbiont. What do they know so far... he was imprisoned by their enemies. Their enemies hate and fear him. He has some interesting powers and an agenda that they don't know about yet. Why don't they offer to help and learn from instead of trying to imprison him. Doh.
Comments from author:
Well, if he's broken out of prison (twice), knocked out everyone on the base, and has headed to a Hellmouth, it's understandable to disregard the fact that the Goa'uld are suppressing any mention if him out of fear.
Review By [DieselDriver] • Date [28 Oct 13] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Escape" from DieselDriver
Review:
Oops.
Review By [DieselDriver] • Date [28 Oct 13] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Incoming" from DieselDriver
Review:
I like long chapters. They get more said. Chapter headings and page breaks are just interruptions in the story telling.
Comments from author:
Long chapters can be good, but I find that (usually) there are places where a chapter should just stop. And this was my first proper attempt at fanfiction, so my chapters were shorter when I wrote this.
Review By [DieselDriver] • Date [28 Oct 13] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Information" from DieselDriver
Review:
Mythology has always been an interest of mine as well. But all I've ever been able to find were the few watered down and incomplete writings of the popularists. Can't remember the names of the authors, I gave up finding more in depth writings long ago. Edith Hamilton comes to mind. Not sure but I think she wrote a large conglomeration of different ancient religions but there wasn't any depth to any of them and she left out anything about Egyptian or middle eastern religions. Concentrated mostly on Greek and Roman with a smattering of Norse and Celtic. It's kind of funny that the Norse get neglected by so many story tellers, I think because of the balance it shows between good and evil, sort of like the Buffy stories "Powers that Be" also seem to strive for balance.

Anyway, keep up the good story telling and I'll keep reading.
Thanks for posting it.
Comments from author:
I'm most familiar with Greek and Roman mythology (to the point where I make a character in a different story choose Sol Invictus as a pseudonym) but, honestly, there are so few books that cover anything in depth that I generally read several for a complete picture.

I think that the reason there are comparatively few Norse stories is because they don't seem to have moved out from their originating countries all that much. Greek and Roman stories, however, spread through most of Europe.
Review By [DieselDriver] • Date [28 Oct 13] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Hypnotize" from DieselDriver
Review:
Very interesting start. Having Dru help Willow is a bit strange but then Dru is nothing if not strange. As for the disjointedness, eh, don't care. It's written good enough that it's entertaining and I'm enjoying it. And since you're an Energybeing how could anyone hold it against you? Oh, and the Latin, I don't speak any Latin, or any other languages enough to see any point in putting some other language in a story unless it's translated somewhere so I know what was said. I had a big argument with my philosophy prof years ago about that. He said it adds something called savoy fair or something french like that. I said back that "hey! If I don't understand it, it adds NOTHING except something to skip over." So unless it's a spell or some kind of ancient writing that will be translated, it does nothing for me.

BTW, the philosophy prof and I had another argument about arguing. He said he hated it when I argued against his ideas. What kind of philosophy prof would be upset about that? heh! One who gives multiple choice tests. Yeah, he did that. What a maroon!
Comments from author:
Okay, I've just logged and seen that you've left me about thirty reviews, so: thanks! I'll go through and answer them now.

Yes, Dru is strange. But strange is good, and it let's her do things that other characters just wouldn't.

I like Latin. I have gratuitous Latin (and French) in a couple of my stories. But they're not really important, because the translation is always given or it's just not important.

Still, I can understand your point, which is why other languages pay only a minor part in my stories.

And philosophy professors should always want to argue.
Review By [DieselDriver] • Date [28 Oct 13] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Phenomenon" from (Recent Donor)DeepBlueJoy
Review:
Interesting start. It is a bit disconcerting how you keep changing tenses in this chapter, however. It makes it hard to read. I'm always interested in reading stories with Dru in them, so I'll stick around, but you need to watch the present tense suddenly going to past tense and vice versa. Most people write past tense and it's probably the simplest one to adopt.
Comments from author:
I know, I tried to do that in my later stories, but I didn't quite manage in this one. Now that you mention it, I'll go through and fix that.

Thank you!
Review By [(Recent Donor)DeepBlueJoy] • Date [9 Dec 12] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Conclusion" from (Recent Donor)deitarionSSokolow
Review:
It feels too simple and tastes of missed opportunity. In fact, though it's nowhere near as big a disappointment, it reminds me of how Holly Evans and the Spiral Path crashed and burned at the end because the author tried to force the story arc to wind down before it was ready.

EDIT: You completely missed the point in the same way the author of HEatSP did. You can't force a story arc to wind down this way without causing the perceived quality to take a nose-dive... and you probably made the same mistake he did too. (Accidentally using a series-level conflict as your story-level driving conflict, then trying to jerry-rig on a break in the tension.)

This particular kind of issue is probably the closest modern equivalent I've yet seen to the original ancient greek use of Deus Ex Machina.
Comments from author:
Thus... the sequel(s)!

EDIT: I know it wasn't the smoothest wind down, but I ran out of ideas for this particular arc. However, there will be more involving Caelus.
Review By [(Recent Donor)deitarionSSokolow] • Date [1 Sep 12] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Conclusion" from RevDorothyL
Review:
Quite satisfying.
Review By [RevDorothyL] • Date [31 Aug 12] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Truth" from RevDorothyL
Review:
Oh, Caelus -- you've messed up big time!
Review By [RevDorothyL] • Date [30 Aug 12] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Truth" from CageFire
Review:
Hmm, interesting chapter, keep up the excellent work. :)
Review By [CageFire] • Date [30 Aug 12] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Explanation" from (Recent Donor)deitarionSSokolow
Review:
Ooh, good show. Now I'm not sure whether to root for or against Caelus. On the one hand, his goals are good but, on the other, his methods may kill the main characters. He created the vampires, but one could argue that it was a case of self-defence against an unjustified attack by the Alterans. He wants to commit mass genocide, but against the Ori and a bunch of meddlers who, it could be argued, have committed crimes against weaker beings en masse by manipulating their memories, forcing Caelus's hand, and rendering him incapable of guiding the Goa'uld down a more peaceful path.

In short, I hate black-and-white situations and you've created the grayest character I've encountered since the first few seasons of X-Men: Evolution. Bravo.
Review By [(Recent Donor)deitarionSSokolow] • Date [30 Aug 12] • Not Rated
Page: 1 of 5 next end
StoryReviewsStatisticsRelated StoriesTracking