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Review of chapter "Blameless in His Generation" from fictionfanb
This story breaks one of the most important rules of writing good fanfic. That being if you are rewriting the story and you give the hero an advantage [in this case a slayer Girl-friend] then you must give the villain an extra advantage in order to compensate. Because if the hero was able to win in the original story without that extra advantage then winning with the extra advantage becomes trivial. You might want to consider get another Muse whose job is to come up with good ideas for the villains so that when you muse forces you to give a bunch of stuff to the heroes they are still able to compete.

Also did you really have to have Willow be better at everything? Why bother to made a distinction between earth magic and wand magic if earth magic is better at everything? Really as soon as she turned up all the things the characters had done in the first 100 chapters became meaningless. You even made her able to trivially solve the horcrux problem. With the powers she displayed here I see no reason she could not simply cast a spell and destroy all vampires on earth. If its a range problem then just cast the spell in every major city teleporting between them.

You are a great writer, but this has to be the worse work of yours I have read. Still better than a lot of fanfics, but not at all up to your standards.

I did like the character dialog. You had some clever ideas.
Comments from author:
Thanks for reviewing. I do think you have a lot of valid points. I am not happy with the final act either, but I am not at a point where I'm ready to re-write it.
Review By [fictionfanb] • Date [1 Dec 14] • Rating [7 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Blameless in His Generation" from Czaanum
What's the dealio with spoilers here in the reviews if they are public? I'll err on the side of caution and just thank you for the change you made at the start of chapter 87 then. HP canon be damned, this is the real version now! Overall I quite enjoyed it, the ending was definitely fun and funny even if the Deus ex machina-age took away some of the excitement, as you said though, Canon is similar in that way. I particularly liked the interactions with the twins, what lovable scamps, you captured that well I thought. Oh and thanks sooooo much for that mental image of Hagrid right at the end there courtesy of Faith, I'm going to have to go get me some brain bleach now.

Oh, and good news on the 'can't find the recommendation button' front.

" Ugh. I'm trying to write Ayla 9.5 and Ayla 10 and Ayla 10.2, 10.4, and 10.6,..." Oh-ho! So it is Ayla then. With that ending you had me half expecting a 'David 1'.
"...but this block has gone on for *months*" Ah, the dreaded writer's block. Get well soon :)
Comments from author:
We generally try not to drop too many spoilers in the reviews unless you want to make it a private review. But we do blab quite a bit. It's not like this is a big summer blockbuster movie from Time-Warner and they cannot *afford* to lose business due to spoilered endings or whatever.

Silly me. I can't rec my own stories, so of course that piece doesn't show up when I check the last page of my stories.

And yes, I'm working - very slowly - on over a dozen Whateley stories.
Review By [Czaanum] • Date [25 Oct 14] • Rating [8 out of 10]
Review of chapter "In the Beginning" from Harry
The first Magical Slayer! And no one understands it!! By Merlin's beard, what is it going to take to get them to understand that!
Comments from author:
Well, she does know the smartest person in the wizarding world...
Review By [Harry] • Date [30 Aug 14] • Rating [10 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Genesis" from Harry
I think I know what is about to happen: Buffy activated the Slayers and Ginny is about to become one!
Review By [Harry] • Date [30 Aug 14] • Rating [10 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Blameless in His Generation" from Grovtech
I enjoyed this even if Buffy and her girls kinda broke the ending. They are used to handling worse that even Tommy-kins. However, it was funny and they didn't make an appearance till the end.

Faith and Hagrid!

Comments from author:
I don't know where the F/H thing came from. I was just typing, and my muse hit me in the back of the head with a half-brick inna sock, and there it was on the page.
Review By [Grovtech] • Date [28 Jul 14] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Blameless in His Generation" from Obsidian
awesome just awesome! Love it! Thank you!
Comments from author:
Thanks. It's not my best work, but I like it.
Review By [Obsidian] • Date [14 Jul 14] • Rating [10 out of 10]
Review of chapter "The Serpent Was More Crafty" from (Current Donor)Starfox
I still don't get why no one among the four realizes that by not killing those two death eaters they let them kill innocents in the future. They cannot capture and keep them, and letting them live means countless dead muggleborns and normal people - often tortured to death.

Edit: That's easy to answer: Dumbledore is either senile and inept, or evil (and senile/inept). There is no other explanation for his Actions, especially when it concerns Harry.
Comments from author:
Why didn't Dumbledore get that concept? He's a lot older and a lot wiser (in theory) and a lot more experienced with these things (e.g. Grindelwald), and he's the one who has been telling them 'no, don't kill people, even bad people'.

Meanwhile, Ginny has the First Slayer inside her telling her not to kill humans, so that just makes things worse.
Review By [(Current Donor)Starfox] • Date [2 Apr 14] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "The Earth and the Heavens" from (Current Donor)Starfox
And that should be a lesson in why you kill death eaters. Dead monsters tell no tale.
Comments from author:
If they're Death Eaters then aren't they asking to eat death themselves? Just don't use those stupid curses. A nice, non-magical method would be better. Maybe even something traditional, like giving them a gift blanket with smallpox.
Review By [(Current Donor)Starfox] • Date [1 Apr 14] • Rating [10 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Blameless in His Generation" from Spica
Good story. I could be writing lots of comments, but that pretty much covers it.
Rare to see so many characters stay in canon character btw.
Comments from author:
Thanks! If you really liked it, you might enjoy some of my other stories. Or you might feel like lobbing me a recommendation to bolster my fragile ego. :D
Review By [Spica] • Date [25 Mar 14] • Rating [10 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Blameless in His Generation" from dragonsey
A very enjoyable story. Interesting, easy to follow, and even included a few things I hadn't seen before. Bravo!

Although... I must admit to being a little disappointed on seeing that it was a HP/BTVS crossover. Based on the name I kinda expected the story to start with Hermoine on summer vacation with her family, caravanning through Moroccan desert, when they find a blonde-haired, blue-eyed stowaway...
Comments from author:
Thanks for reading and reviewing. If you feel up to a recommendation too, I won't mind.
Review By [dragonsey] • Date [24 Feb 14] • Rating [9 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Blameless in His Generation" from SnowyMountain
I have to say that I thought that this story was exceptionally strong and deftly interwove Ginny as a Vampire Slayer into the Deathly Hollows story, even the last minute arrival of Buffy & Co. was superb climax. However, I did find the conclusion to be a bit on the weak side. You seemed to abruptly end it and it feels incomplete or unfinished in my opinion.

I'm not saying that you need a sequel but say like an epilogue to round it all off. Something like "Ten Years Later..." or something that just shows the influence that Ginny has on merging the Wizarding World with the Slayers. What sort of role does she play in the future of the Buffy storyline? What sort of changes do the Slayers have on Hogwarts?

Basically, it's missing that last element and I would joyfully give this story a MUCH higher rating if you did. Thanks.
Comments from author:
Thanks for the input. I appreciate the advice. I'm always trying to improve my writing.
Review By [SnowyMountain] • Date [2 Nov 13] • Rating [6 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Blameless in His Generation" from MarcusSLazarus
Interesting idea, I’ll give you that.

The idea of Ginny becoming a Slayer under the circumstances described is simple but effective (Timeline issues don’t really matter in my book; nothing ever took place in either series where the real-world date would REALLY matter), to say nothing of the wizarding world’s limited knowledge of the Slayer leaving Ginny with an uncomfortable picture of what she’s become, even if it also gives her an excellent reason to stay with Harry during the subsequent horcrux hunt.

Your initial ideas about how the Watcher’s Council and the Ministry interacted were simple but effective- particularly how the Weasleys are so comfortable ignoring that rule considering the length of time since it was last relevant and the Council’s recent fate-, and Ginny’s independent exploration of her Slayer abilities without a Watcher as a guide is handled very well, as her friends and family work to help her deal with her new destiny, culminating in a very interesting final battle.

The only downside in this story is that you draw attention to flaws in some of the events the characters have experienced in the past without accounting for it (As an example, Crouch could have interrogated Moody under Veritaserum to account for his detailed knowledge of Moody’s background, and most of Moody’s personality could have been advertised enough for him to pull off a convincing enough impersonation, particularly since Moody doesn’t strike me as the type to meet people in private), and I disagree with the idea of Voldemort being able to make more horcruxes; his body and soul must have reached the point where he COULDN’T make more without horrifically mutilating himself even further.

Admittedly, things get a bit too easy when the Scoobies show up, but while I think you over-emphasised some of Voldemort’s mistakes- most of the flaws in his plans were just caused by his own arrogance and lack of knowledge of how many allies Harry had available to him, rather than Voldemort himself being stupid-, generally everything worked, with the Scoobies mainly able to help because they weren’t expected rather than Voldemort just overlooking them.

All in all, aside from some areas where I felt you were a bit too ‘X sucks while Y rocks’ (One complaint I have about some crossovers which bring two series together and make one side look like idiots while the other side are brilliant), in general you had a good bit of work here; keep it up!
Comments from author:
Thanks. I just didn't get to the 'Y has also done stupid, sucky things too' issues, so that's a glaring problem. (In my opinion, anyway.)

I agree partly with the Moody issue. There is no one at Hogwarts - except Albus - who would be having a private meeting with Moody, or dealing with him enough personally to realize the crazy guy wasn't THEIR crazy guy. And Moody's behaviors were pretty well known. But I still think Albus should have spotted him, and a plan where Crouch/Moody impersonates the real Moody for an entire school year with no one finding him out is just a bad plan. Next, you'll tell me the plan also has him lose his hat. :-) :-)
Review By [MarcusSLazarus] • Date [6 Oct 13] • Rating [8 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Cattle after Their Kind" from DieselDriver
These are just way better than the originals.
Review By [DieselDriver] • Date [2 Oct 13] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Genesis" from kdakmmt
I really enjoyed reading this story, I did find the scoobies being blase' over the wizarding world to be highly amusing. I could almost hear Willow say "Bored now....." and we know what kind of stuff happens
Comments from author:
Thanks for reading and reviewing it. And I agree: we never want to hear Willow say 'bored now' ever again. :-)

If oyu really enjoyed it, I wouldn't mind a recommendation, or seeing your opinion of some of my other stories on this site.
Review By [kdakmmt] • Date [5 Jul 13] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Blameless in His Generation" from lunalurker
Ah, Faith, don't ever change. I luv you so. And will always regret that spinoff show centered around her didn't happen.
A very fun story indeed, as well as some thoughtful reasonings on certain plot holes and oddness in the original material, which I always seem to enjoy. There was some swerving away from the dark scaryness and over the line toward silliness toward the end, but since that is a trademark of both the Potterverse and the Buffyverse, it's far more appropriate than jarring.
Thanks very much for writing, my reading habit appreciates it greatly. ;)
Comments from author:
A 'Faith the Vamp Slayer' show would have been awesome.

And yes, I simply can't leave massive plot holes alone. I either make fun of them or patch them, depending on the story.

Thanks for the reviews. If you really enjoyed the story, I wouldn't mind a rec either. :-)
Review By [lunalurker] • Date [20 May 13] • Rating [8 out of 10]
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